Scotch

Me: (I don't even know what I said.)
The Boy: I don't need your sass.

He's a character and a whopping six feet tall!

He is currently going through old entries of this blog saying, "I don't remember saying that." and chuckling.

I love him.

In sad news, our sweet boy, Scotch, has been diagnosed with osteosarcoma. The x-rays were horrible. The poor boy has been limping around on a broken femur head. The cancerous bone growth looks so bad. He is taking pain pills right now, but the doctor said we shouldn't let it go too far since toward the end it isn't pretty. We have an appointment next Tuesday. We are spoiling him rotten until then. Tears are being shed almost hourly, but we can tell he is in a lot of pain. He is still running around and playing from time to time, but he's not his normal goof-ball as much as he used to be.

We will miss you, sweet boy.

Conversation with my son

Kissing him goodnight after he had a fun-filled day at the pool.

Me - You smell like the pool.

Him - You smell like a mom.

Me - What does a mom smell like?

Him - Weird perfume and sweat.

???????

Brrrr

A photo is worth a couple thousand words...



But the cold doesn't keep the artist from his work.

Conversations with my son

Actual conversation in the car on the way to school this morning.

Him: Can I have a flare gun?
Me: No.

Come on cold!

What a crazy fall we are having up here.

This time last year, we had more than an inch of snow. Temps have been in the 80s the last few days and the Asian Beetles are going strong.





I thought they were cute, little ladybugs, but, boy was I wrong! These suckers bite! They come in yellow, orange and red, with or without spots. And they invade like nobody's business. We've had a bunch come in the house and collect up in the corners. The Commander had to get a broom handle and knock them down. And they stink when you smush them. Yick.

There are some other bugs that are everywhere as well. People call them No-See-Ums, but when I looked at photos on the web, that isn't what these bugs look like. They are tiny, black things and they excrete an enzyme that burns.

The Boy's scout leader said to wipe Listerine on you to keep them away. We looked at him like he was crazy and ended up joking about wiping Jack Daniels on you and swigging the rest of it down!



The mosquitos are still trying to carry off young children. We just need a good hard freeze!

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Harvest is slowing coming to an end. Thank goodness. The dust and stuff in the air is causing a bunch of folks to be coughing, sneezing and gacking. Hopefully we can get a good rain (before the freeze!) and get some of this stuff settled down.

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In other news...

Someone joined the band.

Conversations with my son.

Me: Did you get a cough drop?
Him: No.
Me: Go get one.
Him: Not right now. My program is on.
Me: Your program is on? What are you? 87?
Him: Well, if you multiply my age by eight and add seven, then yes.

Product Review

I know it is hard to believe, but I really like product reviews.

And I really, really like food product reviews!

So when Mom Central asked, "Do you want to try the new Eggo Fruit Pizzas?", how could I resist? Eggos and fruit? Suh-weet.

From the website:
There's an exciting new way to enjoy Eggo® products! New Eggo™ Real Fruit Pizza, topped with real fruit and crunchy toasted granola… they're the perfect way to shake up your breakfast routine! Ready in just a minute from your microwave. Try both tasty flavors, Strawberry Granola and Mixed Berry Granola!

I waited not so patiently for the pizzas to arrive and, of course, when they did, I was out of town. Luckily, my husband was here to get them and keep them safe for me. (They were supposed to be for me and The Boy, but you'll see why that didn't work here in a minute.)

With huge smiles and lots of anticipation, we opened the package. Then, The Boy saw the photo on the box.



"Granola?!?! Ugh." and off he went to play far away from the granola.

Now, I'm all about granola, so I stayed put. More for me!

I ate this one...



...and saved the strawberry one for later.

It. Was. So. Good.

It comes with one of those silver microwave trays and it only takes a minute to cook. It wasn't overly sweet (which is what I was worried about) and the berries didn't have that weird frozen/thawed taste. The Boy doesn't know what he is missing.

I highly recommend you fetch you some and I thank the folks at Eggo and Mom Central for letting me try them.

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I wrote this review while participating in a blog tour campaign by Mom Central on behalf of Eggo Real Fruit Pizza and received a sample of the product and a $20 Amazon gift certificate to facilitate my review.

Actual conversation with my son

Me - Why don't you run downstairs and get us an ice cream sandwich?

Loving child - Why don't we just have an apple?



He ruins everything.

Happy Mothers' Day

When The Boy was two years old, his daycare teacher helped the kids in his class make gifts for their moms. The teacher would ask each kid a question and then write their answer down on.

When I arrived to pick him up that afternoon, there was a gathering of teachers waiting for me. I didn't know what the heck was going on.

Now keep in mind that he was only two and you know how kids think.



Yeah, I was flabbergasted as well.

Now I knew why all the teachers were waiting for me.

I told them I would find out what the heck he was talking about and get back to them.

It took a while (you know how two year olds are), but I finally figured it out!

Me: I don't put soap in your mouth.

Him: Yes you do!

Me: What color is it?

Him: Blue!

Me: Is it toothpaste?

Him: Yes!

It never fails to make me smile. I have kept it on my fridge for seven plus years.

I love you, Chicken Pot Pie*.

The Best Mom Ever,
Mom


*I told him now that he was ten, he could pick out a new nickname for me to call him. He said he liked Chicken Pot Pie and he wanted to keep it.

The Explanation

If you are friends with me on Facebook, you may have seen my status this morning discussing drilling holes in the master bathroom's door to get it open.

No, the lock didn't accidentally get locked. The lock on that door doesn't even work.

The explanation and photos, let me show you them.

Here are the drawers in the master bath vanity. Please ignore the dust.



Notice how if any of the drawers is open, it blocks the door from swinging inward. This can be useful in the off chance you have a home invasion and need to lock yourself in the bathroom. Also notice the top drawer is where I keep the washcloths.



Now, there is a younger member of the family that rarely uses this bathroom and is not aware of the "home invasion lock" (HIL). I sent him in with a batch of fresh from the dryer washcloths to put away. After cramming them into the drawer, he couldn't get the drawer to stay closed. So he held the drawer closed while he quickly closed the bathroom door behind him. That was all fine and dandy, but when he snatched his hand away from the drawer at the last minute, the drawer popped back open. Thus engaging the HIL.

Zoinks.

There was abso-freakin-lutely no way to get that door open without doing major damage. We tried to go outside and take the storm window off of the house so someone (child-sized) could climb through, but we couldn't get the window off.

So we got the drill. With a really big bit. I figured if we could get enough room, we could shove something through the hole and push the drawer shut enough for the door to clear it.

We had to guess where the drawer was and the first holes wound up too high.

The next holes were low enough, but too far out.

Then it was too straight. I needed an angle.

Finally!!! and with a little damage to the front of the drawer, we had success.



Today, I went to the hardware store and bought some spray foam to fill the holes so we can (hopefully) spackle, sand and paint or stain the door.



Hey! Mickey Mouse!



And that, my friends, is the explanation.

Lives with kids are never boring, are they?

Wallpaper

kmkat wants to see my computer's wallpaper.

Here it is.



This is probably in the top three of my favorite photos. The main reason being that my husband never smiles in photos. (Most of the photos of him also include closed eyes.)

Love you Pumpkin!

Weeeeeeeeeeee

6:30am is too early, but I did it anyway.

The Boy just came into the kitchen and exclaimed, "I woke up to the sound of bacon cooking!"

Spooky and Annoying

So there is this broom in Prattville, Alabama that stands on its own.

The video swept (pun intended) across the country! Pretty creepy, right?

But then I walked passed my kitchen last night and saw this -



Whaaaa???!!!

The Boy did this. It was pretty impressive. He took it down and stood it up a few times just to show me how he had balanced it. I told him to take it closer to the stove to see if it would balance in a different area. IT WOULDN'T BALANCE THERE!

OOOOOooooOOOoOOO Even creepier when it is in your own house.

Hey TV stations! Come see us and bring your cameras!

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In other news...Cooper wants to know what's up with little sisters and can we send this one back?

Cough

The Boy has been coughing for about a week now. It has been a dry cough usually when he gets up in the morning. Nothing a few cough drops couldn't handle.

This morning though? His cough sounded seven kinds of juicy.

That means we get to test our (CUE OMINOUS MUSIC) health insurance company (rhymes with Banana.)

When we signed up last year, we chose the policy with the ungodly high deductible so we would be able to afford the premiums. We can pretty much handle an occasional office visit (we don't get sick much, knock wood and all that), but we wanted something in case we had to go to the hospital. And we wanted prescription coverage (I'm looking at you, High Blood Pressure! You too, Migraines!) One bonus to this premium is that we get six visits per year where we just have to pay a co-pay before we start doing the deductible.

Fast forward to one year, one office visit (not in network, dangit) and a few prescriptions later. We get the letter in the mail for the policy renewal. Surprise, surprise. The premiums had gone up $80 (EIGHTY DOLLARS!!!) a month. Bastards.

The Commander called and got himself taken off of the policy since he can go to the VA clinic. It nearly halved the premium.

So today, I took The Boy to a Banana network clinic in the town 20 some-odd miles away. (What's that, you say? Why didn't I take him to the clinic here in town. 'Scuse me while I laugh in your face.)

The Boy saw a physician's assistant and was diagnosed with Tonsillitis. I pay the co-pay, go to the pharmacy, gather the prescriptions and head home. Easy peasy lemon squeezy.

WRONG.

WRONG.

WRONG.

Ring-a-ling. Hi, this is the clinic, we don't do Banana. But we will give you a 15% discount making the total NINETY-SOME-ODD DOLLARS.

(Expletive deleted.)

I sign on to MyBanana online and sure enough, there is the doctors' names listed as providers.

I call Banana and explain what we have been told. She tells me that as long as they file under a doctor's name (not a PA's [there are a lot of those here]), they will pay for it.

I call the clinic back and the lady was GONE FOR THE DAY. Of COURSE she was. I passed along the information and hopefully it will be covered.

I think I may need some of the "with codeine" that came in the pharmacy bag. (Kidding! Against the law. Never do that!)

Maybe.

He's smart, this one.

Me - How was your day?

The Boy - I learned something, but I forgot what it was.

I was actually a paid "professional" once.

So. Or should I say "sew".

I'm not a sewer so much. I was the official seamstress for the OSU Cowboy football team once (for about two weeks), but other than a straight line, I'm not so good.

The Boy is now a Webelo Scout. This means he gets a new Scout shirt. That means he gets new patches.

(See where I am going with this?)

I had to sew on a new council patch (shoulder), two new pack numbers (under council patch) and a world crest emblem (above the left pocket). That is where my troubles lie.

I did pretty well on the council patch. Awesome on the pack numbers. But when it came to the world crest. I buggered it up.

First - I put it up too high.
Second - It is round. (See straight line comment above.)

You couldn't even see it the way the collar folded over on it. I had to use my seam ripper (I love seam rippers.) and carefully remove it. These shirts aren't cheap and I didn't want to have to replace it.

I repositioned it and used some straight pins to hold it in place. Every time I had to spin the shirt on the curve, the patch would move, but not the shirt.

Say it with me, "Frustrating."

Finally (and there may have been some Super Glue involved) I got it on. Now he is good to go.

I hope he stays in Scouts. The oldest boy got his Eagle Scout last year. It would be nice to have them both be Eagles.

We had to change packs this year. The one here kinda fell apart. The Boy was the only one in his den to earn his advancement badge. Most parents did not help their boys at all. It was sad. Now we drive up into Minnesnowda. I think we are going to like this group much better.

His first solo.

His first solo ride. It wasn't very long, but he did real well. The second ended with a fall at the end. The third ended with an almost fall and me yelling at him, "NO! NO!" As soon as he stops, he wants to hop off which is exactly what he did with his bicycle. We told him after ride #2 that he couldn't be jumping off like that. He did anyway. It wouldn't be so bad, but he doesn't put it in neutral before he hops off. The third ride, he hopped off and gunned the thing and it took off without him. I think he learned his lesson.

First day, last kid to go

Kindergarten. Many moons ago.






4th grade. This morning.



Yes, he has a disco ball in his locker. There is even a little light that shines on it.

Poor baby.

School starts Monday for the youngest boy. He's not handling it well.

He is excited about going back to school, but he is going to be in the middle school this year. (Small town consolidation, y'all. Pre-K through 3rd in one town. Fourth through 12th in another.)

He is nervous about changing classes and he has heard that you have to stay an extra 30 minutes after school for each assignment you don't turn in. We told him that we didn't think that was true. And if it was, work harder!

He has attached himself to me. He sits beside me, he stands behind me, he almost follows me into the bathroom. (Uh, no.)

He has been whining every sentence he says.

It is, quite frankly, getting on my last nerve.

But then, he says this, "Mom? I'm sorry for making you mad." Me - "When?" Him - "I'm sorry for everything I've ever done to make you mad."

Gah!

He also was crying today. When I asked why he told me he misses Oklahoma and his friends. When he plays the Wii, he remembers the first time he played was at Granny's house. Sniff, sniff.

Me (to lighten the mood) - "Do you miss Mexico Joe's?"
Him (smiling) - "Yeah! And New China!"