Our New House

Our New House
Originally uploaded by Sherrypg

Hello debt. We're back. Did you miss us? We obviously missed you.

Click on photo to view more.

The Winner of Britain's Got Talent is...

Paul Potts!

I'm buying his album. Unless you want to buy it for me?

And yet again...

Paul Potts wows me again.

Still getting the chill bumps.

Ring Ring. Hello?

Someone has a new favorite joke. So I ordered him the danged shirt.



And because they didn't have it in my size, he's getting one of these as well...



Click here to get your own.

I could spend a fortune there.

I'm Number One!

I took the boy up to my office the other night and while I was on the computer he picked a microphone up and came around my desk to interview me.

The Boy (holding microphone in front of himself) - How does it feel to be the best Mom in the world? (Holds microphone toward me)
Me - I feel really honored that someone would think that about me.
The Boy (Moves microphone back to himself) - And there you have it!

So there!

From The Vatican

And all of God's people said, "Amen".

'Drivers' Ten Commandments'


1. You shall not kill.

2. The road shall be for you a means of communion between people and not of mortal harm.

3. Courtesy, uprightness and prudence will help you deal with unforeseen events.

4. Be charitable and help your neighbor in need, especially victims of accidents.

5. Cars shall not be for you an expression of power and domination, and an occasion of sin.

6. Charitably convince the young and not so young not to drive when they are not in a fitting condition to do so.

7. Support the families of accident victims.

8. Bring guilty motorists and their victims together, at the appropriate time, so that they can undergo the liberating experience of forgiveness.

9. On the road, protect the more vulnerable party.

10. Feel responsible toward others.

Eeek!

Picture me disappointed

I broke down and subscribed to HBO so I could watch the Flight of The Conchords series. I was disappointed.

I love their singing. And who wouldn't with lyrics like this...

There's just a little bit of dust in my eye
Just from the path that you made when you said your goodbye.
I'm not weeping cause you won't be here to hold my hand,
For your information there's an inflammation in my tear-gland.
I'm not upset because you left me this way,
My eyes are just a little sweaty today.
They've been looking around a lot, searching for you,
They've been looking for you,
Even though I told them not to.

or

Making love
Making love for 2
Making love for 2 minutes
When it is with me you only need 2 minutes
'Cause I am so intense
2 minutes in Heaven is better than 1 minute in Heaven
Then you say something like "Is that it?"
I know what you are trying to say
You’re tiring to say "Aww yea...that's it."
Then you tell me you want some more
Well I am not surprised
But I am quite sleepy

But the show itself...not so great.

On a happier note, I also got the HDTV signal and a DVR. I love the DVR. Our wedding is a week from Wednesday.

I found this little gem the other morning. It was good for about 20 minutes or so then I had to find something with words to watch.

______

We put an offer in on another house in Iowa last week, but someone snuck in right before us and got it. We had looked at it last summer and liked it, but they were asking way too much money for it then. They dropped the price $16,000 and that's when we jumped on it, but we were beaten to the punch.

The commander is on his way up there right now to look at at least four houses. There is one I really like. It is blah looking on the outside, but inside it has all of the built-in Craftsman type woodwork. The house is about half of the square footage than we have now and the lot isn't that big, but I can adapt.





There is another one that is closer in footage to what we have now and a pretty big lot, but it is in the less desirable part of town. It isn't a bad part of town, but the people on that side don't take as good of care of the outside of their properties as they could. It is also a little farther away from the school, library, pool, and park than what we would really like, but since you pretty much have to wait until someone dies or moves into the rest home for a house to become available, you have to take what you can get. (Did I mention there are less than 1,000 people in this town? And only one fast food place, Dairy Queen, and it is only open in the summer!)



Whatever we get, we are going to have to remodel. It really doesn't matter because the house prices up there are crazy low.

(I would say to wish us luck, but some of you who read this don't want us to move and would rather put a hex on it.)

Your Power Element is Wood

Your power colors: green and brown Your energy: generative Your season: spring Like a tree, you are always growing and changing. And while your life is dynamic, you are firmly grounded. You have high morals and great confidence in yourself and others. You have a wide set of interests, and you make for intersting company.

What's Your Power Element?

Paul Potts singing Opera

OMG. I totally got chill bumps and teared up a little. Awesome.

Hypothetical Question

Is this wrong?

16 year old - I'm going to J's house for a birthday party.
Me - Don't drink any alcohol...bring it home to me.

You know...hypothetically.

I love gravy

Although I didn't get a photo of it.

Here is a little something else I made to go with it...

Me Me Meme

From Aunt Murry.

The iPod Meme
(I did it on my iTunes. Leave a comment and let me know if you did it.)

Instructions:
1. Put your music player on shuffle.
2. Press forward for each question.
3. Use the song title as the answer to the question even if it doesn’t make sense. NO CHEATING!

How do you feel today?
Everybody Wants to Rule the World – Tears for Fears

What’s your outlook on life?
Only Love Can Break Your Heart – Neil Young

What does your family think of you?
Wake Me Up When September Ends – Green Day

What do your friends think of you?
Geronimo – Unwritten Law

What do your exes think of you?
Love Gets Me Every Time – Shania Twain

How’s your love life?
29 – Gin Blossoms

How will your love life be in the future?
Sex and Candy – Marcy Playground

Will you get married?
Spanish Pipedream – John Prine

Are you good at school?
Aren’t You the Guy? – They Might Be Giants

Will you be successful?
Big Kids – John Lithgow

What song should they play on your birthday?
Fallin’ In Love (Spike Mix) – La Bouche

What song should they play at your graduation?
Angel of Music – Phantom of the Opera

The Soundtrack of your life?
Vicious World – Rufus Wainwright

You and your best friends are?
Mony Mony – Billy Idol

Happy times:
All Dead, All Dead - Queen

Sad times:
Nothin’ At All - Heart

Every day:
San Francisco Bay Blues – Peter, Paul & Mary

For tomorrow:
Head over Feet – Alanis Morissette

For you:
The Flame – Cheap Trick

What does next year have in store for me?
Southern Girl - Incubus

What do I say when life gets too hard?
Texas Has A Whorehouse in It – Best Little Whorehouse in Texas

What song will I dance to at my wedding?
What it Takes - Aerosmith

What do you want as your career?
Super Duper Love – Joss Stone

Your favorite saying?
White Christmas – Elvis Presley

How will I die?
Juicebox – The Strokes

Many A Mile

Here's what I wrote last Sunday...

Good morning, good morning, it’s time to rise and shine!

Wow, three in the morning comes way too early. Who scheduled me on a 6:30am flight anyway? Oh, that was me.

I’m flying (as we speak!) in first class. Yeah, baby. First class. This is the first, and probably the last, time I have flown first class. So far, not much different from coach except I am on my 2nd free Bloody Mary and it is only 7:15 in the morning. Plus, I’m watching Trailer Park Boys on my laptop, so life is pretty good right now.

One thing I don’t like about first class is that once you get situated with your first Bloody Mary, all of the lowly coach passengers are boarding and staring, either with contempt or with envy, at your Bloody Mary. They should have a second door for boarding so those coach passengers can’t judge us first classers with our free drinks.

Anywho, the Commander’s surgery has been moved to Tuesday so we have an extra day together without the neck brace.

His co-workers are wanting to take me to Landry’s Seafood House for lunch tomorrow. I can’t stand seafood. It stinks and it tastes bad. But evidently, they have a huge Bananas Foster that they all want me to have. Well, okay. I don’t want to disappoint the co-workers.

I also have an appointment (!) with the Commander’s boss tomorrow at 2:00pm. I’ll try to keep it to a two-martini lunch so I don’t embarrass myself.
=====

I’m now on my next leg of my trip after a quick stop at the Houston Mall airport. That place has everything: Brookstone, Museum of Modern Art store, a Houston Space Center store, Swatch, etc. I didn’t have enough time to cruise Brookstone, but I did make it into the MOMA store and the Space Center store. And I grabbed some cinnamon sugar pretzel sticks from Auntie Anne’s.

Of course Bloody Marys don’t go well with cinnamon pretzel sticks so when the flight attendant asked what I wanted to drink and I told her milk, she repeated it twice – Milk? Milk? She looked at me like I had ordered an M-16 and a couple of hookers. The male attendant laughed and said she probably expected me to order something a little stronger. (I guess they have a lot of drunks in first class.) He also told me that milk wasn’t the strangest request they had. Once a man asked them if they had strawberry milk.
=====

Anywho...a lot has happend since Sunday - a margarita and a Mai Tai just to mention a couple.

The Commander's surgery went okay and we are halfway home (The Amarillo Holiday Inn Express). We got behind a cattle truck this afternoon and the front of the Element is now covered in bovine excrement.

I mentally wrote a bunch of blog entries these past few days, but I didn't have a chance to get internet access with all of the hospital going to and from, emptying out the fridge, washing clothes and packing (and drinking). So as my CRAFT brain remembers things, I will try to post them here for your entertainment.

For instance, things like this following conversation I had in the hospital's dining facility while in line for breakfast:

Army Guy in line in front of me - Bean and egg?
Me - Did you just say "bean and egg"?
AG - Yeah, bean and egg burritos. This ain't no Taco Cabana.

Kiss me and smile for me.

Hello! Have you missed me? I’ve missed you.

The Commander was in town this past weekend. We skipped school on Wednesday and played tourists in The City. (Oklahoma City, not New York City. Yeah, it confused me too when I first moved here.)

We ate lunch at Toby Keith’s I Love This Bar And Grill. They give service members a free All American Cheeseburger and Fries (One per lifetime. Some service members were taking advantage. Tisk.) Good thing it was free. Mr. Toby Keith, I know you make a crapload of money so why must you charge $8.99 for a cheeseburger and fries? I can get pretty much the same thing at the bowling alley for $3.50. Plus, the fries there are better.

We visited Bass Pro Shop. Which I totally lurve. I rarely buy anything, but I love to meander the aisles. (I did buy two packs of these to keep the edges of the tarp down around the pool.)

Then we hopped on the Water Taxi and cruised the canal for a while. We got off at one point and had shaved ice. The girl working the t-shirt/flags of the world/shaved ice kiosk was a graduate of Oklahoma State University (Go Pokes!). It made me proud to see her putting her degree to work. (Probably a Bachelor of Fine Arts, but that’s neither her nor there.)

Then we dropped the Commander off at the airport and headed home. Right. During. Rush. Hour. I closed my eyes and drove. We made it home in one piece. Yippee!

The Commander bought a pool for us while he was here. One of those blue, easy-set pools. (We had one for three years before the inflatable ring exploded in the cold weather. We got a different one last year and the “wind sweeping down the plains” made short work of it. Now we are back to the original style. I like it better.) We got it set up (Easily!) and now I just have to hook the pump and filter up. Crossing my fingers on the pump. We don’t use the one that comes with the pool. The first year we did that, the pump wasn’t powerful enough to circulate the water so we bought a ginormous sand filter and pump. This is year 4 (5?) for them and last year, the pump was acting like an old woman. Cranky. When she worked, she worked. When she didn’t work, damn skippy she wasn’t working.

The neighbors are having a going away party tonight. They are moving out next Wednesday and taking The Boy’s playmates with them. Their daughter is two months older than him and the son is two years older. They play like gang busters. I bought him a Fortamajig for him to play with after they move. He doesn’t know I bought it yet. I’ll get it out for him next week.

Or rather my Mom will. I will be in the beautiful, scenic Ft. Bliss, Texas. Yee-haw. (Notice no exclamation point?) The Commander is having neck surgery next week. There goes his modeling career. No one wants a model with a scar on his neck. Or do they? Hmmmm…might make him look more rugged. HA! HA! HA! A model. I crack me up.

Anywho…I’m flying (First Class!) down there Sunday and will be driving his doped-up body home later in the week. Me + Driving ≠ Happy Camper.

I’m taking my laptop with me to watch some videos on the plane and in the hospital’s waiting room. I’ve borrowed the Japanese version of Shall We Dance. I’m also taking Waiting for Guffman and The Big White. (If you haven’t seen “The Big White”, go get it now. Seriously. But only if you liked the movie “Fargo”.) I am also supposed to be getting a season of Trailer Park Boys from someone else, but he forgot it this morning and I’m betting dollars to donuts he didn’t get it at lunch like he said he would.*

I don’t know how the internet situation will be while I’m down there, so if you don’t hear from me for a week or so, it’s not you, it’s me.



*UPDATE! He not only brought one season, he brought THREE seasons! Dang, I was hoping for a bear claw.

I'm blue

Ignore the spacing problem. It's not my fault!

You are most like: Mockingbird
You are a #5 pop single. Well known, and often repeated, you are an old friend to us all. Though sometimes old friends get on our nerves if we see/hear too much of them. You are generally lighthearted and cooperative, and you love to sing about nothing, or anything.
Take this quiz: What Carly Simon Song Are You?
Visit Toys For Your Blog.com for more blog quizzes

You are most like: Selective Procrastinator
As a selective procrastinator, you know how to procrastinate but only do it when you feel you can afford to. Your a faker!
Take this quiz: How Bad A Procrastinator Are You?
Visit Toys For Your Blog.com for more blog quizzes

You are most like: You are Blue
You are cool and soothing, with a hidden spontanious side. You are deeper than most people percieve, and you care a lot for those whom you surround yourself with.
Take this quiz: Which Crayola Box of 8 Color Are You?
Visit Toys For Your Blog.com for more blog quizzes

Celebrity Look-Alikes

This cracks me up.

Angela Lansbury? Seriously?




Evidently, I favor blacks and hispanics. Queen Latifah? I can deal with that. She's pretty. And I was just mentioning this weekend how cute I thought Xzibit is.

Sweet Bama Pie

Internal thoughts during my massage...

Norah Jones. I like her. I'm glad I brought the CD. She is so HOLY MOTHER OF ALL THAT IS HOLY! calming.

This is so nice. I really enjoy spending SWEET 8 POUND 6 OUNCE BABY JESUS! thirty minutes doing absolutely CRAP! WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO SHOVE UNDER MY SHOULDER BLADE? A DULL AXE?! nothing but being attended to. Sweet.

I may bring my Jack Johnson AAAAAARRRRGGGHHHHH! THAT'S WHERE MY SCIATIC NERVE IS LADY! ENOUGH WITH THE PRESSURE! CD next time. The Curious George sound SCHNICKEY! track is pretty calming as well.

Mmmmmmmm. Nice. YOU DO THAT ONE MORE TIME AND I'M PUNCHING YOU IN THE HEAD! I need to make sure I schedule another SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT! massage in a couple of weeks.

Ooooooooh. The hot rocks. I OW! OW! OW! OW! love the hot rocks.

Oh no. She's getting the HOT TOWEL! HOT! HOT! HOT! hot towel. Dang. I'm almost done.

Thanks! See you in a couple of weeks!

High Tea in The Parlor Makes The Ladies Holla!

I'm having tea with the Junior Service League this afternoon. (I know. I'm sorry. But there is a good reason.)

SHE'S going to be there.

I have to go practice holding my pinky out. Wish me luck.

The Dairy Hut!

The Dairy Hut!
Originally uploaded by Sherrypg.

Where I chose to eat for my birthday.

(Click to see more exciting birthday photos!)

Redemption

My loving husband *cough* sent me a birthday card that was, shall we say, quirky. To sum it up, it has a picture of the Grim Reaper on it. Nice.

But when I opened the package with the presents he had sent, he was forgiven.



Thanks Commander. I'll see you in a week.

Trucky

Here are some better photos of Matt and Trucky.

Ignore the overgrown grass.


This photo has all THREE! of Matt's vehicles in it. Hopefully we will be selling the car that is directly in front of Trucky.


Happy Happy Joy Joy


We like the cars. The cars that go BOOM.


He hasn't been allowed to have passengers (except for Christopher). He asked me if it would be okay to start having just one. I told him I wanted him to read this first.

"If Everyone"

If everyone who drives a car, would lie a month in bed,

With broken bones, and stitched up wounds, or fractures of the head,

And there endure the agonies that many people do,

They’d never need preach safety anymore to me and you.

If everyone could meet the wife and children left behind,

And step into the darkened home where once the sunlight shined,

To look upon the vacant chair, where Daddy used to sit,

I’m sure some reckless drivers would be forced to think a bit.

If everyone who takes the wheel, would say a little prayer,

And keep in mind those in the car depending on his care,

And make a vow and pledge himself to never take a chance,

A great crusade for safety would suddenly advance.

-----Author Unknown

13.1 miles later...

13.1 miles later...
Originally uploaded by Sherrypg.

Last year, we were watching and laughing. Silly runners. Then, he caught the bug. Cross Country Team. Track Team. This Fall, he wants to run a TriAthalon.

Free lawn mowing for the summer!

We shook hands last night with the owner to buy this fine piece of equipment. We are supposed to get it next Tuesday or so. It has got some loud pipes and a custom sound system. It is so custom, the amplifier and the subwoofer take up the passenger side rear seat (redneck custom). But the 16 year old is happy and should be spending quality time mowing our lawn this summer (or else!).

The youngest was in charge of the camera. These are the best I could find...





Speaking of the youngest, here he is having a dippin' dots type snack on the hammock.



This guy was hanging the around the bird feeder this last winter. He's still here.

What to buy?

Okay y'all. I have a $20 Amazon gift certificate.

What should I buy? (I would be willing to pony up some extra cash if needed.)

And it has to be for me. Not the house, not the kids, not the dog, not the Commander. Me.

I was thinking about the "Schoolhouse Rock!" DVD, but I dunno.

Any suggestions? Remember, I like fun and quirky!

Don't blame the mother.

Just as we were walking into school this morning, I asked the boy, "Do you have two different socks on?"

He looked at me and said, "Yes."

I just laughed and gave him a big hug.

The child had an ANKLE sock on his left foot and the CREW sock on his right.

Hey, don't blame me. He picked them out.

They were both white, so there's that...

Lady Byrds

Lady Byrds
Originally uploaded by Sherrypg.

Now you can see where I get my good looks.

Guitar Hero

The Boy has decided he wants to learn to play the guitar. I know squat about guitars. I would like to get him some sort of "starter" one just in case he changes his mind. Do you know anything about guitars? Do you or someone you know have one laying around you might be willing to part with? Help me please!

Wanna go on a tour?

Wanna see my office?

Visual DNA

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

The Lady

The Lady
Originally uploaded by Sherrypg.

I'm home!

Click on the lady to check out some of my photos!

I'm Legal!

I got my motorcycle endorsement!

My heart was thumping and my palms were moister than normal (I'm not a good tester.), but when the screen came up and said, "You passed.", I stood up, threw my arms in the air and said, "WooHoo!" (I'm subtle that way.) The guy at the desk, Mr. Finger-over-The-Tracheotomy-Talker, kept calling me Sweetie and Darlin' and the like. (He wanted me, I could tell.) He could call me anything he wanted 'cause I PASSED.

Now I've gotta get a new helmet.

(We're off to NYC bright and early tomorrow morning. Our friend Richard said "The Beverly Hillbillies go to New York." Ain't he sweet?)

If lovin' you is wrong

I don't wanna be right.

Thank You Sarah Brown!

I want to thank Ms. Sarah Brown for giving me some tips about New York. She certainly didn't have to do this since she doesn't know me, but she did and I really appreciate it.

Go thank her, will ya?

Clicky Clicky

Five Minutes for Mom is giving away a Dyson Slim. Check it out and wish me luck!

Last Will and Testament

Since I'm going to NY next week, I thought I might ought to post this just in case...

I, Sherry, being of sound mind and body, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means. Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of pinhead politicians who couldn’t pass ninth-grade biology if their lives depended on it, or lawyers/doctors interested in simply running up the bills. If a reasonable amount of time passes and I fail to ask for at least one of the following:

A Bloody Mary
chocolate
A Margarita
chocolate
A Doughnut
chocolate
Chicken Fried Steak
chocolate
Mashed Potatoes
chocolate
Cream Gravy
chocolate
Mexican Food
chocolate
French Fries
chocolate
Pizza
chocolate
Ice Cream
chocolate
Caramel
chocolate
Chocolate


It should be presumed that I won’t ever get better. When such a determination is reached, I hereby instruct my appointed person and attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes and call it a day.

No Cussing This Time

My first case of New York snarkiness!

The USO gives out discount and sometimes FREE tickets to Broadway plays. I called to check if the Commander needs to wear his uniform. The USO woman says no. Just have an ID. She said to check with them before we buy any tickets in case they have some free ones.

Me: Okay.
USO woman: Do you know where we are?
Me: Not exactly...
USO woman: Well, that would help, wouldn't it?
Me: {{{I've been snarked!}}}

NY - 1
Me - 0

Countdown

I'm going to New York City! Have I mentioned that? The Commander and I are going next week. I'm beyond excited. (And a little nervous.) I've been practicing my cussing. I'm getting pretty good at it so I should fit right in. And I bought an extra memory card for my camera 'cause I know you wanna see the hick in the city.

The Boy and I were talking about it last night. He asked what I would be doing there.

Me - We will be going to the theater. I know you don't like that.
Boy - It depends on the play.
Me - Phantom of The Opera?
Boy - {{{wrinkles nose}}}
Me - See?
Boy - Will you see Lady Liberty?
Me - Yes.
Boy - Will you bring me lots of trinkets from the gift shop?
Me - You betcha!

He is all about the gift shops.

Miss Stacie, this one is for you.

Sleeping Mommy has a little story about her oldest falling from a chair, busting a head, bleeding, and stitches.

Have I told you our story?

When the Boy was one (A nice day in April. I remember it well.), they were getting ready to eat lunch at daycare. For whatever reason, he decided to stand up in his chair. The chair went one way and he went the other. Face first into the edge of the table. It split his eyelid open. The director called me at work and told me what happened and said, "He may need a stitch." (This is where you see where I am totally opposite from Sleeping Mommy on the freak out meter.) I calmly drove to the daycare, went into his room, and asked the teacher (HI MISS STACIE!), "Did he eat?" (Cause I'm all about nutrition. You need vitamins to coagulate!)

ER? Walk-in clinic? ER? Walk-in clinic?

He wasn't bleeding anymore so I went to the walk-in clinic. He still had blood on his face and looked pretty bad. When I carried him up to the desk and asked the lady, "How long is the wait?" She looked up at us and said, "For you? None." (Note: Blood gets you in quicker.)

By this time, the Commander had made it to the clinic and was in the room with us. The doctor decided not to give him a shot of anesthesia. Instead, they put some on a gauze and told us to hold it on the wound for a bit until the skin around it turned white. Five minutes or so.

'Scuse me? You want me to hold a one-year-old completely still with a medicated gauze stuck on his eye? Have you children, Kind Lady?

I don't know how many minutes later, the Commander and I are totally soaked with sweat after a few rounds of wrestling with the Boy and the skin around the wound is *finally* white.

They strapped him into the papoose thingie to keep him from wiggling around and asked if I wanted to stay in the room.

Not a chance. Call me when you are done. Sorry kid.

Eight stitches later, he's good to go.

I love his little scar. When he is really upset, it gets very red.

Remind me some time to tell you the story of his foot turning ALL THE WAY, COMPLETELY AND TOTALLY, BACKWARD and my mad skilz in keeping from doing a Daniel Boone* all over the place.


*Shooting my lunch. (I love Urban Dictionary's word of the day.)

Boast Post

Parent Teacher conferences this week.

I met with the Boy's Enrichment teacher today. He was tested last October, but I haven't ever asked 1) what test or 2) what the results were.

Today I asked.

1) The Kaufman Brief Intelligence Test Second Edition (KBIT2)

2) Holy Crap

I'm not going into detail because I'm not (quite) one of *those* moms, but let me just say "Upper Extreme". Plus, she said his IQ will go up 10-15 points. Maybe even 20. (Which is quite ironic because when I was pregnant, my IQ dropped at least that many points with that Baby Brain syndrome.)

I asked if there was anything we could do at home to help him out and she said communication. Communication, communication, communication. Talk to your kid. She said that their vocabulary is down 10,000 words from what it used to be. She is having to explain words to kids that she has never had to explain before. When I was growing up, newspapers wrote on a 8th grade level. She says now they write on a 4th grade level. That's crazy.



So anyway, here's an Easter joke for you.

What's invisible and smells like carrots?

Bunny farts.

Heh heh heh

How you doin?

Thirteen Things about Sherry 1. This was my dishwasher two nights ago. 2. Yummy isn't it? 3. I meet with a repairman today. 4. The estimate to fix Matt's car is $1,156.88. 5. Guy who ran into the car is refusing to pay. 6. He says he barely bumped him and didn't cause that much damage. 7. Guy doesn't know who he's dealing with. 8. I called the assistant city attorney, WHO I KNOW, and got some advice. 9. I got a form yesterday from the police station to send to the Department of Public Safety. 10. If my form is approved, the guy will get his license suspended until he pays. 11. As my brother-from-another-mother says, "You don't f*ck strangers in the a$$." 12. Insert evil laugh here. 13. When I left the police station yesterday, I swear to you, it was all I could do to keep from whipping into Walgreen's, unwrapping four Cadbury Caramel Eggs and cramming them into my mouth right in the middle of the store. I was that stressed. So if any of you kind folks have some extra Caramel Eggs laying around, let me know. I'll send you my mailing address. (Do they sell those by the case?) Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com

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Post #238

You may want to sit down for this one.

Ladies and Gentlemen. I have fought tooth and nail, kicking and screaming, but it has happened. Our household now owns a Play Station 2 (PS2).

There was never really a need for one. Why would we want to own a "video game" and become "couch potatoes" for an unGodly amount of money when we were perfectly content so sit on the couch, eat, and watch TV for free?

But then mention was made of "Guitar Hero" and then "Dance, Dance, Revolution". Grown up human beings who were mothers were singing the PS2 praises.

So I folded. Like a cheap lawn chair. Like a bad poker hand. Like a $2 accordion.

PS2? Check.
Guitar Hero? Check.
Dance, Dance, Revolution? Check.
Some race car game? Check.
Some motorcycle racing game? Check.
Extra steering wheel type controls for racing games? Check.
Memory card? Check.
You may want to step aside when I write this check 'cause it ain't gonna be pretty? Double check.

So far it has been fun. Not Atari fun, but still... DDR kicked my Reubenesque-ass. And that was just on the beginner's practice level. GH is pretty fun (if you have rhythm). The boy was in charge of the whammy bar. If you were in the other room, you could hear me yelling out, "WHAMMY!" Luckily the neighbors are far enough away.

So if you have any PS2 tips, lemme know.

(My tip? Don't choose the VW Bug as your race car. I'm just sayin'.)

Whatcha watchin?

Byrneunit wants to know what’s on my Netflix list. I don’t do Netflix. We’re a Blockbuster household. So here’s that…

27. 20 Centimeters

28. New Year’s Day

29. Wah-Wah

30. Tristram Shandy: A Cock and Bull Story

31. Confetti

32. On a Clear Day

There are also 3 or 4 David Duchovny movies and 1 or 2 with The Rock.

I watched Wordplay last night. I really enjoyed it. I love to do crossword puzzles. I don't think I have ever attempted a New York Times puzzle. The NEA and King puzzles get hard enough.

So, what is in your Queue?

Nice Try

I can't choose a favorite, but I'm leaning toward this one...

Long story short(ish)

Matt's car is in my name. Matt's car got rear-ended. Matt's bumper shattered. Matt didn't call the police. Matt didn't call me. (SWTF?) Matt got person's info and went to insurance agent. Matt went to police station to file a report. Matt took friend who witnessed crash to police station to give his statement. Matt's insurance agent called me. Matt's person who ran into him didn't have insurance on vehicle. Matt's person who ran into him didn't have vehicle in his name. Matt's in trouble. Matt's person who ran into him is in trouble. Matt's step-mom is not happy.

Meat and You

It's not really a floor...

He's on my list.

'What will your obituary say?' at QuizGalaxy.com

I can see dying in a modern art museum. I will probably be killed by an artist when I scowl, wrinkle my nose, and say, "*That* is *not* art." I will probably be impaled by said non-art.

Easy-Bake Oven? Never had one.

Let's try again...

'What will your obituary say?' at QuizGalaxy.com

Laughing hysterically. What a way to go.

Kid Rock? How about The Rock.



'Cause really? Who would you rather have?

Flush that idea.

The Boy's class has a stuffed bear that each of the kids gets to take home and do who knows what with it. Yesterday they were naming the bear.

Me - How was your day?
Boy - It was okay, but I got upset.
Me - Why?
Boy - When we were naming the bear, everyone laughed at me.
Me - Why?
Boy - They laughed at the name I wanted.
Me - What was it?
Boy - Meteor, The Toughest Bear.
Me - That's a cool name. What were some of the other names?
Boy - Beary, Zach and Cody.
Me - Well, I like Meteor. What did y'all end up naming him?
Boy - Beary.
Me - When you bring him home, we'll call him Meteor. That is a much better name than Beary.
Boy - Okay.

Attention First Graders! Have some imagination! Beary? Seriously? Gag. Meteor, The Toughest Bear is *so* much better. And stop laughing at my kid. I'll use the stink eye on you.

During Meteor's home visits, each kid has to bring a photo to school of him doing something.

The Boy's suggestion? "You know my bank that looks like a toilet? Can we sit him on there and take a small piece of paper and make it look like a newspaper and take a picture of that to take to school?"

Me - (Sure!) Uh...probably not. Some people don't really care for toilet humor. So maybe we can do that and take a photo for us, but send a different one to school.

See First Graders?! Imagination. You all have one. Use it.

HE NEVER SAID "TIME OF DEATH..."!

Grey's Anatomy writers,

Why do you do this to us?

Sherry

Visit the writers' blog Grey Matter.

From Me...

...to you.

Poetry in motion

I'm editing a video about a guest ranch and one of the shots is an old-style church with buggies, a wooden fence and a pony. I thought to myself, "How bucolic."

Bucolic? I can remember words like bucolic, but I can't remember easy words like shoe, fence-post, and fraction? (Really)

Anywho...see for yourself.

The Boy

February 4, 2000

4:19am
Me - Ow!

15 hours later...

9 lbs. 11 oz.
23" long
Welcome to the world, Baby Boy.



February 4, 2007

64.8 lbs
50.5" tall
Happy Birthday, Baby Boy.

Stare Down

Back before Christmas, I was needing to go buy a new Christmas tree and some other things for the house. I was looking on Lowe's Home Improvement website and saw that if you purchased $100 in gift cards on one receipt, you got a voucher for two free tickets to go see "Night at The Museum". I figured I was going to spend at least that much so I went to Lowe's and bought $100 in gift cards. (I went back the next day and used them to get the tree.) I went on line and filled out all of the info and downloaded my voucher for the tickets.

The voucher expires at the end of this month so last Wednesday, me and the boy decided to go to the movie.

I waited in line for quite a long time. I finally get to the front, slide the voucher over and tell him I need two for "Night". He picks up the voucher and says, "We can't take these."

Heh?

I told him the web site said they did. Then he started giving me this sob story about how they didn't have a credit card thing and that they had no way to run the voucher and they had called Lowe's and told them not to be giving them out and blah, blah, blah.

Commence the stare down.

Me: {{{Stare}}}
Him: Uh...
Me: {{{Stare with an eyebrow lift}}}
Him: Uh...
Me: {{{More staring}}}
Him: Uh...okay.

We have a winner!

Don't underestimate the power of a stare. And don't be the first to speak. First to speak = loser of the stare down.

Go and use this info wisely, Grasshopper. Only for good, not for evil.

I have a good radio face.

I spent some quality time working in radio so these are funny to me. To you? Maybe not so much...

You know you're an Aging Radio Guy/Girl when...

You were first hired by a GM who actually worked in radio before becoming a GM.

Radio stations were no place for kids.

You excitedly turn the radio up at the sound of "dead air" on the competitor's station.

Sales guys wore Old Spice to cover the smell of liquor.

Engineers could actually fix things without sending them back to the Manufacturer.

You worked for only ONE station, and you could name the guy who owned it.

Radio stations used to have enough on-air talent to field a softball team every summer.

You used to smoke in a radio station and nobody cared.

Engineers always had the worst body odor, not because they worked too hard, but because they just didn't shower that often.

You know the difference between good reel-to-reel tape and cheap reel-to-reel tape.

Religious radio stations were locally owned, run by an old Protestant minister and his wife, never had more than 20 listeners at any given time, and still made money.

You have a white wax pencil, a razor blade, and a spool of 3M splicing tape in your desk drawer - - just in case.

You can post a record, run down the hall, go to the bathroom, and be back in 2:50 for the segue.

You knew exactly where to put the tone on the end of a carted song.

You only did "make-goods" if the client complained. Otherwise, who cares?

You can remember the name of the very first "girl" that was hired in your market as a DJ.

Somebody would say, "You have a face for radio", and it was still funny.

Sixty percent of your wardrobe has a station logo on it.

You always had a screwdriver in the studio so you could take a fouled-up cart apart at a moment's notice.

You always had a solution for an LP that 'skipped'.

You would spend hours splicing and editing a parody tape until it was "just right", but didn't care how bad that commercial was you recorded. Hey, I can only work with what they give me, right?

You still refer to CDs as "records".

Your family thinks you're successful, but you know better.

You played practical jokes on the air without fear of lawsuits.

You answer your home phone with the station call letters.

You used to fight with the news guy over air-time. After all, what was more important: your joke , or that tornado warning?

You knew how to change the ribbon on the teletype machine, but you hated to do it because "...that's the news guy's job."

You know at least 2 people in sales that take credit for you keeping your job.

You have several old air-check cassettes in a cardboard box in your closet that you wouldn't dream of letting anyone hear anymore, but, you'll never throw them out or tape over them. Never!

You can still see scars on your finger when you got cut using a razor blade and cleaned out the cut with head-cleaning alcohol and an extra long cotton swab on a wooden stick.

You still have dreams of a song running out and not being able to find the control room door.

You've ever told a listener "Yeah. I'll get that right on for you."

You have a couple of old transistor radios around the house with corroded batteries inside them.

People who ride in your car exclaim, "Why is your radio so loud?"

You remember when promotion men brought new LP's to the station – and you played them the same day.

You have at least 19 pictures of you with famous people whom you haven't seen since, and wouldn't know you today if you bit 'em on the ass.

You wish you could have been on "Name! That Tune" because you would have won a million bucks. You even REMEMBER "Name That Tune".

You were a half an hour late for an appearance and blamed it on the directions you received from the sales person.

You've run a phone contest and nobody called, so you made up a name and gave the tickets to your cousin.

You remember when people actually thought radio was important

Hello there. Have we met?

Aaarrrggghhh! The pain. Abdominal muscles? Who knew I had them? Triceps? Vaguely familiar.

The ice, she is a cruel woman. Chop, chop, hack, hack, shovel, shovel. Repeat. Repeatedly.

I haven't fell on my buttocks (yet). I have been wearing my Yaktrax like crazy. Matt used them the other day when the boys* were sledding (In our front yard! I have video I will try to post.) and then tried to borrow them. I. Think. Not. I gave him some money and he went and got the last pair at the Summit.

*I snuck out later when no one was around and tried some sledding myself. I don't belly flop as well as I used to. And? I almost hit a pecan tree. I managed to turn sideways and roll off enough to drag my shin and kneecap to stop me. I don't recommend that procedure.

Up to 14" of snow projected for this weekend. On top of the 3"+ of ice still sitting. Yuck. The kids haven't had school at all this week and next week isn't looking too good either.

Business Socks!

We withdrew our offer on the house in Iowa. It had some problems and the owners didn't want to work with us on them.

Oh well.

Let's get down to business!

Safety Tip

Fun and practical.

"I can't find my parents."

I heard those words last week and it made my heart hurt.

On the way home from "up north", we stopped at a rest stop on the Kansas turnpike for gas, restroom, and food.

While I was waiting for our food, I noticed a boy about 9 years old talking to Matthew. Matt had an odd look on his face so I wandered over to see what was up.

"I can't find my parents."

Matt offered his phone to call them. The boy started giving the phone number and I asked him what the area code was. He didn't know. I asked him where he was from and he said Kansas City. I know the Wichita area code, but not so much Kansas City. Then he told me they didn't have a cell phone.

I asked him what kind of car they were in. He told me a minivan. What kind? He didn't know. It was green and had a Carmax tag on the front. Were they getting gas? No, just stopped to use the restroom. I had him make another lap around the outside of the building to double check and he still couldn't find them.

I took the boy to the gas station side of the rest stop and told the manager what was going on. She sat him down behind the counter with her to wait.

We got our food and started to leave, but my heart was so going out to this boy, I had to go back and check on him.

He was still sitting there.

I asked him if he was headed home or somewhere else. He said they were headed home. I told the manager to call the Highway Patrol and let them know what was going on. She said okay and as I left, she was taking down his name and address (which he didn't know).

Parents, please count your kids before driving off. Have them learn the make of your car. Write it down and stick it in their pockets when you travel. Anything to help them if they are lost.

I don't want my heart hurting again.

But of course...

In the year 2007 I resolve to: Get further into debt. Get your resolution here.

Kermit Drive Update

(Actually, Cursing Mama, it is on Avenue A, but I'm going with Kermit Drive 'cause you crack me up too.)

Well, our offer was accepted contingent on the house inspection and financing.

Sad news though. The owner gave the shuffle board table away. I almost told the agent to take back the offer! Seriously, don't let people look at the house and then give stuff away. Sheesh. Those things aren't cheap.

So I'll be closer to the Mall of America and Jake's Pizza. Woo and then Hoo!

But I'll be farther away from my friends and family. Boo and then hoo.

I guess I still have 18 months or so to say adieu to you and you and you.

BTW, any one skilled in interior design?

I love the 70's.

The Commander is going to retire in a year and a half or so and we have been looking up north for a house to retire to. We finally found one we both like. I don't know when it was built, but in its day, it was a looker. There are so many 1970's aspects to it. Including, but not limited to....

Green Flocked wallpaper!


Green carpeting!


Brown kitchen laminate!


With built-ins!


Plus, a billiard table and a shuffle board table! (and space in the basement to finally have my media room 'cause I love the 2000's too!) With lime green walls!


Swag!


Here she is. In all of her green-ness.