It's my life

This Is My Life, Rated
Life:	8.2
Mind:	8.1
Body:	6.6
Spirit:	8
Friends/Family:	6.1
Love:	9.1
Finance:	9.1
Take the Rate My Life Quiz

Friends and family need to step it up!

2nd Grader

Wow. I am the proud owner of a 2nd Grader.

I love you big guy. Bunches and bunches.

Have a great first day.






(If you look closely in our garage, you see the back side of two motorcycles. What you can't see is the back side of three (3!) more motorcycles.)

Finally!

Months ago, Sleeping Mommy tagged me for the “8 Things” Meme. She even said please. I piddle-farted around and finally wrote out eight things while I was sitting in an unbelievably boring lecture. And now? I can’t find the paper I wrote them out on. So I guess I’ll try again.

1) I have a 20 year old tattoo of a purple long stemmed rose. (You guess where.)

2) I had a tummy tuck in July of 2004. Not to get rid of the fat (although there was quite a bit), but to get rid of the “apron” that hung down over my underbritches. I have before and after photos if you wanna see.

3) I love to read. Magazines, newspapers, novels, the back of cereal boxes, etc. Anywhere. Anytime.

4) I don’t like seafood. I’ve tried it (fried shrimp, boiled shrimp, shrimp casserole, shrimp cocktail, lobster fondue, crab cakes, you name it), but I can’t stand it. I tell people I am allergic so they don’t give me grief about it.

5) My pretend celebrity boyfriends are – The Rock, Mike Rowe, and David Duchovny (he used to be first until he got married ON MY BIRTHDAY!). I’m considering adding Judd Apatow.

6) My favorite movie is Return to Me.

7) I’m a huge fan of the theater (theatre).

8) (I’ll put my quirk here) I can not stand having my sheets messed up on my bed while I am in it. I have been known to make the Commander get up out of bed so we can straighten the sheets. Especially the fitted sheet. It drives me up the proverbial wall!

_________

And since almost everyone in the whole entire webiverse has done this thing, you there, in the cave, you are tagged.

Scritch Scritch Scritch

I'm back from the lake. Did you miss me? The mosquitoes certainly didn't.

Here are some good looking guys to tide you over until I think of something entertaining to write for you.

Happy Birthday!

Seriously, why don't you love me?

He made me do it

The Commander just called and said, "Go online and buy this!"



So I did.

Power to the Puppies!

____________________________

Last week I bought this.



Power to the Pork!

(I threw some on some popcorn last night and it wasn't bad. I'm waiting to put it on green beans and mashed potatoes.)

___________________________

I Double Purple Puffy Hearts the interwebs.

Insert clever title here

I have been feeling unwell for most of the week and finally (finally!) feel like staying upright today.

I have been having a hard time posting anything because I haven't had anything exciting to post about.

But today? Today I can brag.

The Boy got his first trophy this week.

We went to the Bow Wow Bowl Off Tuesday night. It is a fund raiser for the Humane Society here in town. This is the 5th year for it and the 1st year we have participated. The Boy ended up winning a trophy for the highest game in the kids' division! Woo and then Hoo!

______________

I went to a local music store last weekend to buy a metronome for piano lessons. The one I picked out was attached to this. So I ended up paying a little more than I wanted to for the metronome, but I got a really cool keyboard to go with it. And, this savvy shopper got the guy to throw in a stand for it.

______________

Lawn mowing this weekend! I'm so excited!

______________

Oh, and by the way

It may be sooner.

______________

Guess how many times I had to backspace and retype words in this post?

What is wrong with this picture? (UPDATED)

I guess it is kinda hard to see, but on the sample card I have at home, it is more noticeable.

On the motorcycle facing away from you, hanging from the rear fender, is what looks like those fake testicles that "manly-men" tend to hang off the back of their vehicles.

I sent a message to customer service and the message ended up getting sent to the director of customer service. She told me that the "balls" were supposed to be a guardian bell, but she totally agreed with me that it didn't look too bell-like and so they are removing the bell/balls from the picture and are reprinting the cards.

What power I wield!

_____________________

These are the Christmas cards I was intent on purchasing this year. But I didn't order. Can you tell why I changed my mind? You may need to put on your prude pants.

(Click to biggify)

Wolfboy

Wolfboy
Originally uploaded by Sherrypg

Minnesota and Iowa photos now up on Flickr.

What Chicka said...

Dynamic Analyst

Read more in depth,

More of a Granny Smith Apple Green

I have had no internet capabilities for the past four days. I had withdrawals.

We went to Iowa and closed on our house. I finally got to see it in person and guess what! Two good surprises. One, there is a breakfast bar in the kitchen and two, this little gem...



Notice the green! Not gross, avacado green, but a glorious, Granny Smith green! The wallpaper has got to go. I was teasing the Commander about painting the walls bright yellow and having a limon bathroom.

We also managed to visit the relatives in Minneapolis and went to the MN Zoo. I'll put some of those photos up on my Flickr account.

Lookin' forward to it

Thirteen Things I look forward to in my new town 1. Not working! (SAHM!) 2. Old Dutch! (Caramel Corn!) 3. Two ovens! (Sweet!) 4. Learning to can! (Mmmmmm!) 5. Fresh sweet corn! (12 ears for a dollar!) 6. The deck! ('Nuff said!) 7. Walking the boy to school! (Until he's old enough to request otherwise.) 8. No fast foods! (There is a Dairy Queen, but it is only open in the summer.) 9. Closer to the Mall of America! (!!!) 10. The University of Okoboji! (Class of '94!) 11. Rhubarb! (Pudding!) 12. More free time! (See #1!) 13. Snow! (?)

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!


The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun!

View More Thursday Thirteen Participants

Here's some Total Momsense

Bug Spray

Me + Off = Yes

The Commander + Bullfrog = Not so much.

Bullfrog's sunscreen abilities were just fine, but the repellent didn't repel. The Commander applied at least three layers of the stuff and he still had mosquitoes getting him.

In other news...

The Boy started piano lessons. Now we need a nice electronic keyboard for him to practice on. These things are danged expensive. I've tried e-bay and craig's list, but I haven't found anything I like. I need to hit the garage sales I guess. Suggestions?

Quick with the retort

I have a t-shirt with an old school type photo of a guy bowling and the words "Spare Me" on it.

I was wearing it last night when I stopped by the c-store to get some milk and the boy an Icee.

This is the conversation I had with the clerk (to the best of my recollection.)

Clerk - Your shirt bowls me over.
Me - Does it strike your fancy?
Clerk - Oooo. I'm pinned behind the counter.
Me - (Speaking to the boy) It's right up his alley.
Clerk - I cry foul!
Clerk and Me - Ha ha ha ha ha!
People in line behind me - WTF?
Me - Can I get a bag?
Clerk - Before you split?

Good times.

Contests? Luv'em.

Check out the contests at 5 Minutes for Mom.

Like this one.

and this one.

or this one.

(I won something last month. I can't tell you what it is because it is a gift for someone and it is on its way here.)

Well...

this sucks ass.

And then...

the home inspector called and left a message saying, "I just wanted to touch base and let you know what a nice house this is." I like nice.

I forgot to tell you, the house has a central vacuum system!

Our New House

Our New House
Originally uploaded by Sherrypg

Hello debt. We're back. Did you miss us? We obviously missed you.

Click on photo to view more.

The Winner of Britain's Got Talent is...

Paul Potts!

I'm buying his album. Unless you want to buy it for me?

And yet again...

Paul Potts wows me again.

Still getting the chill bumps.

Ring Ring. Hello?

Someone has a new favorite joke. So I ordered him the danged shirt.



And because they didn't have it in my size, he's getting one of these as well...



Click here to get your own.

I could spend a fortune there.

I'm Number One!

I took the boy up to my office the other night and while I was on the computer he picked a microphone up and came around my desk to interview me.

The Boy (holding microphone in front of himself) - How does it feel to be the best Mom in the world? (Holds microphone toward me)
Me - I feel really honored that someone would think that about me.
The Boy (Moves microphone back to himself) - And there you have it!

So there!

From The Vatican

And all of God's people said, "Amen".

'Drivers' Ten Commandments'


1. You shall not kill.

2. The road shall be for you a means of communion between people and not of mortal harm.

3. Courtesy, uprightness and prudence will help you deal with unforeseen events.

4. Be charitable and help your neighbor in need, especially victims of accidents.

5. Cars shall not be for you an expression of power and domination, and an occasion of sin.

6. Charitably convince the young and not so young not to drive when they are not in a fitting condition to do so.

7. Support the families of accident victims.

8. Bring guilty motorists and their victims together, at the appropriate time, so that they can undergo the liberating experience of forgiveness.

9. On the road, protect the more vulnerable party.

10. Feel responsible toward others.

Eeek!

Picture me disappointed

I broke down and subscribed to HBO so I could watch the Flight of The Conchords series. I was disappointed.

I love their singing. And who wouldn't with lyrics like this...

There's just a little bit of dust in my eye
Just from the path that you made when you said your goodbye.
I'm not weeping cause you won't be here to hold my hand,
For your information there's an inflammation in my tear-gland.
I'm not upset because you left me this way,
My eyes are just a little sweaty today.
They've been looking around a lot, searching for you,
They've been looking for you,
Even though I told them not to.

or

Making love
Making love for 2
Making love for 2 minutes
When it is with me you only need 2 minutes
'Cause I am so intense
2 minutes in Heaven is better than 1 minute in Heaven
Then you say something like "Is that it?"
I know what you are trying to say
You’re tiring to say "Aww yea...that's it."
Then you tell me you want some more
Well I am not surprised
But I am quite sleepy

But the show itself...not so great.

On a happier note, I also got the HDTV signal and a DVR. I love the DVR. Our wedding is a week from Wednesday.

I found this little gem the other morning. It was good for about 20 minutes or so then I had to find something with words to watch.

______

We put an offer in on another house in Iowa last week, but someone snuck in right before us and got it. We had looked at it last summer and liked it, but they were asking way too much money for it then. They dropped the price $16,000 and that's when we jumped on it, but we were beaten to the punch.

The commander is on his way up there right now to look at at least four houses. There is one I really like. It is blah looking on the outside, but inside it has all of the built-in Craftsman type woodwork. The house is about half of the square footage than we have now and the lot isn't that big, but I can adapt.





There is another one that is closer in footage to what we have now and a pretty big lot, but it is in the less desirable part of town. It isn't a bad part of town, but the people on that side don't take as good of care of the outside of their properties as they could. It is also a little farther away from the school, library, pool, and park than what we would really like, but since you pretty much have to wait until someone dies or moves into the rest home for a house to become available, you have to take what you can get. (Did I mention there are less than 1,000 people in this town? And only one fast food place, Dairy Queen, and it is only open in the summer!)



Whatever we get, we are going to have to remodel. It really doesn't matter because the house prices up there are crazy low.

(I would say to wish us luck, but some of you who read this don't want us to move and would rather put a hex on it.)

Your Power Element is Wood

Your power colors: green and brown Your energy: generative Your season: spring Like a tree, you are always growing and changing. And while your life is dynamic, you are firmly grounded. You have high morals and great confidence in yourself and others. You have a wide set of interests, and you make for intersting company.

What's Your Power Element?

Paul Potts singing Opera

OMG. I totally got chill bumps and teared up a little. Awesome.

Hypothetical Question

Is this wrong?

16 year old - I'm going to J's house for a birthday party.
Me - Don't drink any alcohol...bring it home to me.

You know...hypothetically.

I love gravy

Although I didn't get a photo of it.

Here is a little something else I made to go with it...

Me Me Meme

From Aunt Murry.

The iPod Meme
(I did it on my iTunes. Leave a comment and let me know if you did it.)

Instructions:
1. Put your music player on shuffle.
2. Press forward for each question.
3. Use the song title as the answer to the question even if it doesn’t make sense. NO CHEATING!

How do you feel today?
Everybody Wants to Rule the World – Tears for Fears

What’s your outlook on life?
Only Love Can Break Your Heart – Neil Young

What does your family think of you?
Wake Me Up When September Ends – Green Day

What do your friends think of you?
Geronimo – Unwritten Law

What do your exes think of you?
Love Gets Me Every Time – Shania Twain

How’s your love life?
29 – Gin Blossoms

How will your love life be in the future?
Sex and Candy – Marcy Playground

Will you get married?
Spanish Pipedream – John Prine

Are you good at school?
Aren’t You the Guy? – They Might Be Giants

Will you be successful?
Big Kids – John Lithgow

What song should they play on your birthday?
Fallin’ In Love (Spike Mix) – La Bouche

What song should they play at your graduation?
Angel of Music – Phantom of the Opera

The Soundtrack of your life?
Vicious World – Rufus Wainwright

You and your best friends are?
Mony Mony – Billy Idol

Happy times:
All Dead, All Dead - Queen

Sad times:
Nothin’ At All - Heart

Every day:
San Francisco Bay Blues – Peter, Paul & Mary

For tomorrow:
Head over Feet – Alanis Morissette

For you:
The Flame – Cheap Trick

What does next year have in store for me?
Southern Girl - Incubus

What do I say when life gets too hard?
Texas Has A Whorehouse in It – Best Little Whorehouse in Texas

What song will I dance to at my wedding?
What it Takes - Aerosmith

What do you want as your career?
Super Duper Love – Joss Stone

Your favorite saying?
White Christmas – Elvis Presley

How will I die?
Juicebox – The Strokes

Many A Mile

Here's what I wrote last Sunday...

Good morning, good morning, it’s time to rise and shine!

Wow, three in the morning comes way too early. Who scheduled me on a 6:30am flight anyway? Oh, that was me.

I’m flying (as we speak!) in first class. Yeah, baby. First class. This is the first, and probably the last, time I have flown first class. So far, not much different from coach except I am on my 2nd free Bloody Mary and it is only 7:15 in the morning. Plus, I’m watching Trailer Park Boys on my laptop, so life is pretty good right now.

One thing I don’t like about first class is that once you get situated with your first Bloody Mary, all of the lowly coach passengers are boarding and staring, either with contempt or with envy, at your Bloody Mary. They should have a second door for boarding so those coach passengers can’t judge us first classers with our free drinks.

Anywho, the Commander’s surgery has been moved to Tuesday so we have an extra day together without the neck brace.

His co-workers are wanting to take me to Landry’s Seafood House for lunch tomorrow. I can’t stand seafood. It stinks and it tastes bad. But evidently, they have a huge Bananas Foster that they all want me to have. Well, okay. I don’t want to disappoint the co-workers.

I also have an appointment (!) with the Commander’s boss tomorrow at 2:00pm. I’ll try to keep it to a two-martini lunch so I don’t embarrass myself.
=====

I’m now on my next leg of my trip after a quick stop at the Houston Mall airport. That place has everything: Brookstone, Museum of Modern Art store, a Houston Space Center store, Swatch, etc. I didn’t have enough time to cruise Brookstone, but I did make it into the MOMA store and the Space Center store. And I grabbed some cinnamon sugar pretzel sticks from Auntie Anne’s.

Of course Bloody Marys don’t go well with cinnamon pretzel sticks so when the flight attendant asked what I wanted to drink and I told her milk, she repeated it twice – Milk? Milk? She looked at me like I had ordered an M-16 and a couple of hookers. The male attendant laughed and said she probably expected me to order something a little stronger. (I guess they have a lot of drunks in first class.) He also told me that milk wasn’t the strangest request they had. Once a man asked them if they had strawberry milk.
=====

Anywho...a lot has happend since Sunday - a margarita and a Mai Tai just to mention a couple.

The Commander's surgery went okay and we are halfway home (The Amarillo Holiday Inn Express). We got behind a cattle truck this afternoon and the front of the Element is now covered in bovine excrement.

I mentally wrote a bunch of blog entries these past few days, but I didn't have a chance to get internet access with all of the hospital going to and from, emptying out the fridge, washing clothes and packing (and drinking). So as my CRAFT brain remembers things, I will try to post them here for your entertainment.

For instance, things like this following conversation I had in the hospital's dining facility while in line for breakfast:

Army Guy in line in front of me - Bean and egg?
Me - Did you just say "bean and egg"?
AG - Yeah, bean and egg burritos. This ain't no Taco Cabana.

Kiss me and smile for me.

Hello! Have you missed me? I’ve missed you.

The Commander was in town this past weekend. We skipped school on Wednesday and played tourists in The City. (Oklahoma City, not New York City. Yeah, it confused me too when I first moved here.)

We ate lunch at Toby Keith’s I Love This Bar And Grill. They give service members a free All American Cheeseburger and Fries (One per lifetime. Some service members were taking advantage. Tisk.) Good thing it was free. Mr. Toby Keith, I know you make a crapload of money so why must you charge $8.99 for a cheeseburger and fries? I can get pretty much the same thing at the bowling alley for $3.50. Plus, the fries there are better.

We visited Bass Pro Shop. Which I totally lurve. I rarely buy anything, but I love to meander the aisles. (I did buy two packs of these to keep the edges of the tarp down around the pool.)

Then we hopped on the Water Taxi and cruised the canal for a while. We got off at one point and had shaved ice. The girl working the t-shirt/flags of the world/shaved ice kiosk was a graduate of Oklahoma State University (Go Pokes!). It made me proud to see her putting her degree to work. (Probably a Bachelor of Fine Arts, but that’s neither her nor there.)

Then we dropped the Commander off at the airport and headed home. Right. During. Rush. Hour. I closed my eyes and drove. We made it home in one piece. Yippee!

The Commander bought a pool for us while he was here. One of those blue, easy-set pools. (We had one for three years before the inflatable ring exploded in the cold weather. We got a different one last year and the “wind sweeping down the plains” made short work of it. Now we are back to the original style. I like it better.) We got it set up (Easily!) and now I just have to hook the pump and filter up. Crossing my fingers on the pump. We don’t use the one that comes with the pool. The first year we did that, the pump wasn’t powerful enough to circulate the water so we bought a ginormous sand filter and pump. This is year 4 (5?) for them and last year, the pump was acting like an old woman. Cranky. When she worked, she worked. When she didn’t work, damn skippy she wasn’t working.

The neighbors are having a going away party tonight. They are moving out next Wednesday and taking The Boy’s playmates with them. Their daughter is two months older than him and the son is two years older. They play like gang busters. I bought him a Fortamajig for him to play with after they move. He doesn’t know I bought it yet. I’ll get it out for him next week.

Or rather my Mom will. I will be in the beautiful, scenic Ft. Bliss, Texas. Yee-haw. (Notice no exclamation point?) The Commander is having neck surgery next week. There goes his modeling career. No one wants a model with a scar on his neck. Or do they? Hmmmm…might make him look more rugged. HA! HA! HA! A model. I crack me up.

Anywho…I’m flying (First Class!) down there Sunday and will be driving his doped-up body home later in the week. Me + Driving ≠ Happy Camper.

I’m taking my laptop with me to watch some videos on the plane and in the hospital’s waiting room. I’ve borrowed the Japanese version of Shall We Dance. I’m also taking Waiting for Guffman and The Big White. (If you haven’t seen “The Big White”, go get it now. Seriously. But only if you liked the movie “Fargo”.) I am also supposed to be getting a season of Trailer Park Boys from someone else, but he forgot it this morning and I’m betting dollars to donuts he didn’t get it at lunch like he said he would.*

I don’t know how the internet situation will be while I’m down there, so if you don’t hear from me for a week or so, it’s not you, it’s me.



*UPDATE! He not only brought one season, he brought THREE seasons! Dang, I was hoping for a bear claw.

I'm blue

Ignore the spacing problem. It's not my fault!

You are most like: Mockingbird
You are a #5 pop single. Well known, and often repeated, you are an old friend to us all. Though sometimes old friends get on our nerves if we see/hear too much of them. You are generally lighthearted and cooperative, and you love to sing about nothing, or anything.
Take this quiz: What Carly Simon Song Are You?
Visit Toys For Your Blog.com for more blog quizzes

You are most like: Selective Procrastinator
As a selective procrastinator, you know how to procrastinate but only do it when you feel you can afford to. Your a faker!
Take this quiz: How Bad A Procrastinator Are You?
Visit Toys For Your Blog.com for more blog quizzes

You are most like: You are Blue
You are cool and soothing, with a hidden spontanious side. You are deeper than most people percieve, and you care a lot for those whom you surround yourself with.
Take this quiz: Which Crayola Box of 8 Color Are You?
Visit Toys For Your Blog.com for more blog quizzes

Celebrity Look-Alikes

This cracks me up.

Angela Lansbury? Seriously?




Evidently, I favor blacks and hispanics. Queen Latifah? I can deal with that. She's pretty. And I was just mentioning this weekend how cute I thought Xzibit is.

Sweet Bama Pie

Internal thoughts during my massage...

Norah Jones. I like her. I'm glad I brought the CD. She is so HOLY MOTHER OF ALL THAT IS HOLY! calming.

This is so nice. I really enjoy spending SWEET 8 POUND 6 OUNCE BABY JESUS! thirty minutes doing absolutely CRAP! WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO SHOVE UNDER MY SHOULDER BLADE? A DULL AXE?! nothing but being attended to. Sweet.

I may bring my Jack Johnson AAAAAARRRRGGGHHHHH! THAT'S WHERE MY SCIATIC NERVE IS LADY! ENOUGH WITH THE PRESSURE! CD next time. The Curious George sound SCHNICKEY! track is pretty calming as well.

Mmmmmmmm. Nice. YOU DO THAT ONE MORE TIME AND I'M PUNCHING YOU IN THE HEAD! I need to make sure I schedule another SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT! massage in a couple of weeks.

Ooooooooh. The hot rocks. I OW! OW! OW! OW! love the hot rocks.

Oh no. She's getting the HOT TOWEL! HOT! HOT! HOT! hot towel. Dang. I'm almost done.

Thanks! See you in a couple of weeks!

High Tea in The Parlor Makes The Ladies Holla!

I'm having tea with the Junior Service League this afternoon. (I know. I'm sorry. But there is a good reason.)

SHE'S going to be there.

I have to go practice holding my pinky out. Wish me luck.

The Dairy Hut!

The Dairy Hut!
Originally uploaded by Sherrypg.

Where I chose to eat for my birthday.

(Click to see more exciting birthday photos!)

Redemption

My loving husband *cough* sent me a birthday card that was, shall we say, quirky. To sum it up, it has a picture of the Grim Reaper on it. Nice.

But when I opened the package with the presents he had sent, he was forgiven.



Thanks Commander. I'll see you in a week.

Trucky

Here are some better photos of Matt and Trucky.

Ignore the overgrown grass.


This photo has all THREE! of Matt's vehicles in it. Hopefully we will be selling the car that is directly in front of Trucky.


Happy Happy Joy Joy


We like the cars. The cars that go BOOM.


He hasn't been allowed to have passengers (except for Christopher). He asked me if it would be okay to start having just one. I told him I wanted him to read this first.

"If Everyone"

If everyone who drives a car, would lie a month in bed,

With broken bones, and stitched up wounds, or fractures of the head,

And there endure the agonies that many people do,

They’d never need preach safety anymore to me and you.

If everyone could meet the wife and children left behind,

And step into the darkened home where once the sunlight shined,

To look upon the vacant chair, where Daddy used to sit,

I’m sure some reckless drivers would be forced to think a bit.

If everyone who takes the wheel, would say a little prayer,

And keep in mind those in the car depending on his care,

And make a vow and pledge himself to never take a chance,

A great crusade for safety would suddenly advance.

-----Author Unknown

13.1 miles later...

13.1 miles later...
Originally uploaded by Sherrypg.

Last year, we were watching and laughing. Silly runners. Then, he caught the bug. Cross Country Team. Track Team. This Fall, he wants to run a TriAthalon.

Free lawn mowing for the summer!

We shook hands last night with the owner to buy this fine piece of equipment. We are supposed to get it next Tuesday or so. It has got some loud pipes and a custom sound system. It is so custom, the amplifier and the subwoofer take up the passenger side rear seat (redneck custom). But the 16 year old is happy and should be spending quality time mowing our lawn this summer (or else!).

The youngest was in charge of the camera. These are the best I could find...





Speaking of the youngest, here he is having a dippin' dots type snack on the hammock.



This guy was hanging the around the bird feeder this last winter. He's still here.

What to buy?

Okay y'all. I have a $20 Amazon gift certificate.

What should I buy? (I would be willing to pony up some extra cash if needed.)

And it has to be for me. Not the house, not the kids, not the dog, not the Commander. Me.

I was thinking about the "Schoolhouse Rock!" DVD, but I dunno.

Any suggestions? Remember, I like fun and quirky!

Don't blame the mother.

Just as we were walking into school this morning, I asked the boy, "Do you have two different socks on?"

He looked at me and said, "Yes."

I just laughed and gave him a big hug.

The child had an ANKLE sock on his left foot and the CREW sock on his right.

Hey, don't blame me. He picked them out.

They were both white, so there's that...

Lady Byrds

Lady Byrds
Originally uploaded by Sherrypg.

Now you can see where I get my good looks.

Guitar Hero

The Boy has decided he wants to learn to play the guitar. I know squat about guitars. I would like to get him some sort of "starter" one just in case he changes his mind. Do you know anything about guitars? Do you or someone you know have one laying around you might be willing to part with? Help me please!

Wanna go on a tour?

Wanna see my office?

Visual DNA

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

The Lady

The Lady
Originally uploaded by Sherrypg.

I'm home!

Click on the lady to check out some of my photos!

I'm Legal!

I got my motorcycle endorsement!

My heart was thumping and my palms were moister than normal (I'm not a good tester.), but when the screen came up and said, "You passed.", I stood up, threw my arms in the air and said, "WooHoo!" (I'm subtle that way.) The guy at the desk, Mr. Finger-over-The-Tracheotomy-Talker, kept calling me Sweetie and Darlin' and the like. (He wanted me, I could tell.) He could call me anything he wanted 'cause I PASSED.

Now I've gotta get a new helmet.

(We're off to NYC bright and early tomorrow morning. Our friend Richard said "The Beverly Hillbillies go to New York." Ain't he sweet?)

If lovin' you is wrong

I don't wanna be right.

Thank You Sarah Brown!

I want to thank Ms. Sarah Brown for giving me some tips about New York. She certainly didn't have to do this since she doesn't know me, but she did and I really appreciate it.

Go thank her, will ya?

Clicky Clicky

Five Minutes for Mom is giving away a Dyson Slim. Check it out and wish me luck!

Last Will and Testament

Since I'm going to NY next week, I thought I might ought to post this just in case...

I, Sherry, being of sound mind and body, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means. Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of pinhead politicians who couldn’t pass ninth-grade biology if their lives depended on it, or lawyers/doctors interested in simply running up the bills. If a reasonable amount of time passes and I fail to ask for at least one of the following:

A Bloody Mary
chocolate
A Margarita
chocolate
A Doughnut
chocolate
Chicken Fried Steak
chocolate
Mashed Potatoes
chocolate
Cream Gravy
chocolate
Mexican Food
chocolate
French Fries
chocolate
Pizza
chocolate
Ice Cream
chocolate
Caramel
chocolate
Chocolate


It should be presumed that I won’t ever get better. When such a determination is reached, I hereby instruct my appointed person and attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes and call it a day.

No Cussing This Time

My first case of New York snarkiness!

The USO gives out discount and sometimes FREE tickets to Broadway plays. I called to check if the Commander needs to wear his uniform. The USO woman says no. Just have an ID. She said to check with them before we buy any tickets in case they have some free ones.

Me: Okay.
USO woman: Do you know where we are?
Me: Not exactly...
USO woman: Well, that would help, wouldn't it?
Me: {{{I've been snarked!}}}

NY - 1
Me - 0

Countdown

I'm going to New York City! Have I mentioned that? The Commander and I are going next week. I'm beyond excited. (And a little nervous.) I've been practicing my cussing. I'm getting pretty good at it so I should fit right in. And I bought an extra memory card for my camera 'cause I know you wanna see the hick in the city.

The Boy and I were talking about it last night. He asked what I would be doing there.

Me - We will be going to the theater. I know you don't like that.
Boy - It depends on the play.
Me - Phantom of The Opera?
Boy - {{{wrinkles nose}}}
Me - See?
Boy - Will you see Lady Liberty?
Me - Yes.
Boy - Will you bring me lots of trinkets from the gift shop?
Me - You betcha!

He is all about the gift shops.

Miss Stacie, this one is for you.

Sleeping Mommy has a little story about her oldest falling from a chair, busting a head, bleeding, and stitches.

Have I told you our story?

When the Boy was one (A nice day in April. I remember it well.), they were getting ready to eat lunch at daycare. For whatever reason, he decided to stand up in his chair. The chair went one way and he went the other. Face first into the edge of the table. It split his eyelid open. The director called me at work and told me what happened and said, "He may need a stitch." (This is where you see where I am totally opposite from Sleeping Mommy on the freak out meter.) I calmly drove to the daycare, went into his room, and asked the teacher (HI MISS STACIE!), "Did he eat?" (Cause I'm all about nutrition. You need vitamins to coagulate!)

ER? Walk-in clinic? ER? Walk-in clinic?

He wasn't bleeding anymore so I went to the walk-in clinic. He still had blood on his face and looked pretty bad. When I carried him up to the desk and asked the lady, "How long is the wait?" She looked up at us and said, "For you? None." (Note: Blood gets you in quicker.)

By this time, the Commander had made it to the clinic and was in the room with us. The doctor decided not to give him a shot of anesthesia. Instead, they put some on a gauze and told us to hold it on the wound for a bit until the skin around it turned white. Five minutes or so.

'Scuse me? You want me to hold a one-year-old completely still with a medicated gauze stuck on his eye? Have you children, Kind Lady?

I don't know how many minutes later, the Commander and I are totally soaked with sweat after a few rounds of wrestling with the Boy and the skin around the wound is *finally* white.

They strapped him into the papoose thingie to keep him from wiggling around and asked if I wanted to stay in the room.

Not a chance. Call me when you are done. Sorry kid.

Eight stitches later, he's good to go.

I love his little scar. When he is really upset, it gets very red.

Remind me some time to tell you the story of his foot turning ALL THE WAY, COMPLETELY AND TOTALLY, BACKWARD and my mad skilz in keeping from doing a Daniel Boone* all over the place.


*Shooting my lunch. (I love Urban Dictionary's word of the day.)

Boast Post

Parent Teacher conferences this week.

I met with the Boy's Enrichment teacher today. He was tested last October, but I haven't ever asked 1) what test or 2) what the results were.

Today I asked.

1) The Kaufman Brief Intelligence Test Second Edition (KBIT2)

2) Holy Crap

I'm not going into detail because I'm not (quite) one of *those* moms, but let me just say "Upper Extreme". Plus, she said his IQ will go up 10-15 points. Maybe even 20. (Which is quite ironic because when I was pregnant, my IQ dropped at least that many points with that Baby Brain syndrome.)

I asked if there was anything we could do at home to help him out and she said communication. Communication, communication, communication. Talk to your kid. She said that their vocabulary is down 10,000 words from what it used to be. She is having to explain words to kids that she has never had to explain before. When I was growing up, newspapers wrote on a 8th grade level. She says now they write on a 4th grade level. That's crazy.



So anyway, here's an Easter joke for you.

What's invisible and smells like carrots?

Bunny farts.

Heh heh heh

How you doin?

Thirteen Things about Sherry 1. This was my dishwasher two nights ago. 2. Yummy isn't it? 3. I meet with a repairman today. 4. The estimate to fix Matt's car is $1,156.88. 5. Guy who ran into the car is refusing to pay. 6. He says he barely bumped him and didn't cause that much damage. 7. Guy doesn't know who he's dealing with. 8. I called the assistant city attorney, WHO I KNOW, and got some advice. 9. I got a form yesterday from the police station to send to the Department of Public Safety. 10. If my form is approved, the guy will get his license suspended until he pays. 11. As my brother-from-another-mother says, "You don't f*ck strangers in the a$$." 12. Insert evil laugh here. 13. When I left the police station yesterday, I swear to you, it was all I could do to keep from whipping into Walgreen's, unwrapping four Cadbury Caramel Eggs and cramming them into my mouth right in the middle of the store. I was that stressed. So if any of you kind folks have some extra Caramel Eggs laying around, let me know. I'll send you my mailing address. (Do they sell those by the case?) Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com

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Post #238

You may want to sit down for this one.

Ladies and Gentlemen. I have fought tooth and nail, kicking and screaming, but it has happened. Our household now owns a Play Station 2 (PS2).

There was never really a need for one. Why would we want to own a "video game" and become "couch potatoes" for an unGodly amount of money when we were perfectly content so sit on the couch, eat, and watch TV for free?

But then mention was made of "Guitar Hero" and then "Dance, Dance, Revolution". Grown up human beings who were mothers were singing the PS2 praises.

So I folded. Like a cheap lawn chair. Like a bad poker hand. Like a $2 accordion.

PS2? Check.
Guitar Hero? Check.
Dance, Dance, Revolution? Check.
Some race car game? Check.
Some motorcycle racing game? Check.
Extra steering wheel type controls for racing games? Check.
Memory card? Check.
You may want to step aside when I write this check 'cause it ain't gonna be pretty? Double check.

So far it has been fun. Not Atari fun, but still... DDR kicked my Reubenesque-ass. And that was just on the beginner's practice level. GH is pretty fun (if you have rhythm). The boy was in charge of the whammy bar. If you were in the other room, you could hear me yelling out, "WHAMMY!" Luckily the neighbors are far enough away.

So if you have any PS2 tips, lemme know.

(My tip? Don't choose the VW Bug as your race car. I'm just sayin'.)

Whatcha watchin?

Byrneunit wants to know what’s on my Netflix list. I don’t do Netflix. We’re a Blockbuster household. So here’s that…

27. 20 Centimeters

28. New Year’s Day

29. Wah-Wah

30. Tristram Shandy: A Cock and Bull Story

31. Confetti

32. On a Clear Day

There are also 3 or 4 David Duchovny movies and 1 or 2 with The Rock.

I watched Wordplay last night. I really enjoyed it. I love to do crossword puzzles. I don't think I have ever attempted a New York Times puzzle. The NEA and King puzzles get hard enough.

So, what is in your Queue?

Nice Try

I can't choose a favorite, but I'm leaning toward this one...

Long story short(ish)

Matt's car is in my name. Matt's car got rear-ended. Matt's bumper shattered. Matt didn't call the police. Matt didn't call me. (SWTF?) Matt got person's info and went to insurance agent. Matt went to police station to file a report. Matt took friend who witnessed crash to police station to give his statement. Matt's insurance agent called me. Matt's person who ran into him didn't have insurance on vehicle. Matt's person who ran into him didn't have vehicle in his name. Matt's in trouble. Matt's person who ran into him is in trouble. Matt's step-mom is not happy.