Sunday, June 22, 2008

Get Yer Motor Runnin'

I'm a Ford Mustang!



You're an American classic -- fast, strong, and bold. You're not snobby or pretentious, but you have what it takes to give anyone a run for their money.


"Take the Which Sports Car Are You? quiz.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Pea-own-ees

So, how do you pronounce them?

Pea-uh-nees
Pennies
Pea-own-ees

However you do, I got some. They came with the house. I've never been up close to them before. They smell wonderful.





We also have this unknown.




These heathens are confined on the deck until we get a fence. (Soon. Oh please, oh please, oh please.)



You may have me now, Woman, but soon I'll be free.



(I say pea-own-ees. The Commander says pea-uh-nees. He also says Puh-jam-uhs. I say Puh-jaw-muhs. Lie-lack? Lie-lock? These northerners. Sheesh.)

Sunday, June 15, 2008

Dear New Town

You're killing me.

I'm trying to give someone hundreds of dollars to put in a chain link fence and I am having no luck what-so-ever!

Five phone messages left.

1) Never returned call.

2) Never returned call.

3) Returned call. Made an appointment to meet with me. Never showed up. Didn't return "Where the hell are you?" call.

4) Returned call. Made an appointment to meet with me. Never showed up. Didn't bother making "WTHAY?" call.

5) Returned call. Said he would "try to make it out there this week". When informed that I was leaving town at 11am on Wednesday, he said, "I will try to make it out there before you leave."

Seriously? WTF is wrong with people?

I went to the building center in the Minnesota town we frequent and got a three page list of contractors. The guy circled three people he said have put in chain link fences. I'm calling first thing tomorrow. I can not deal with these dogs not having a fence much longer.

Anyone out there with chain link skills willing to travel to Iowa and put in a fence? Free room and board while you are here!

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Noodle Head

The folks at the OKC radio station I listened to talked to Lee about noodling a couple of weeks ago. He said Gordon Ramsey was in Stillwater and they were taking him noodling. Here's proof.

P.S. Freddie Paul's has awesome hummus!

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Iowa - Week One Cont.

Wednesday, June 11th, Day Six

I had a good cry today.

I cried for his* family. I cried because I miss my friends (a lot), I miss The Commander, I miss Shorty and I miss my Mom and Dad.

I'm better now. We went to the diner for dinner (lunch) and then to the library (again). The Librarian is trying to recruit me to teach Sunday School. Ha. Then we went to the big city park.

Jealous much? Isn't my life thrilling? During my bawl fest this morning, I was trying to decide if I would rather be in my situation right now or would I rather be going to work each day and seeing all of my friends. Mixed emotions right there I tell you.
__________

*I met Scott and his wife this past February at a Dining Out with the OSU ROTC. The Commander has known Scott since he was a Cadet years ago. Scott and his wife seemed like really good people in the short amount of time I talked to them. They were smiling and laughing. Scott was talking about his deployment and I was telling his wife that I felt kind of guilty because when The Commander got mobilized, he only went to Texas and I got to see him from time to time. This was the third time (I think) that Scott had been sent overseas and his first time to Afghanistan. I couldn't imagine my husband being overseas and not knowing what was going on with him. My heart really hurts for her right now.

Iowa - Week One

The Boy and I have moved to Iowa. The Commander still has a few more weeks at the Police Department before he will be able to join us. He is going to be making trips up on the weekends to bring the rest of our junk important household belongings.

We stayed at my parents’ house Tuesday and Wednesday night. When we arrived at their house, my Mom had supper ready for us. For me actually. Chicken, dressing, cranberry sauce, mashed potatoes, gravy, corn and made from scratch banana pudding. I told her I should move more often!

We left about 7:30am on Thursday and headed off to Iowa. I packed peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, Pringles and Gogurts so we wouldn’t have to stop to eat, only to get gas and let the dogs potty. We arrived at our new house at 5:30pm. Then I curled up in a ball and died. (Not really.)

Friday, June 6th, Day One

We got up and went to the library for the summer reading program. The theme is Bugs! The Boy wanted me to stay since he didn’t know anyone so I took a chair to the side and tried to blend. The Boy had a pretty good time. After they split the kids into younger and older (there were about 50+ kids!), each group had three books read to them and then they gathered in one section and a lady did a presentation about the Madagascar Hissing Cockroach. The Boy got to hold it repeatedly and was grinning from ear to ear. They did a craft, got a snack and then we headed out the door.

We went to the bank and handed over the check for the proceeds from the house we sold. We decreased the new house loan amount by 2/3!

We went to the newspaper office and to change our mailing address, the post office to pick up our mail and let them know we are officially here and the cable office to sign up for cable and DSL. Guess which two out of three happened? I’ll give you a hint. I had to dig out the VHS tapes because we have run out of DVDs to watch.

The cable office is closed in the mornings and when I went back that afternoon, no one was there still. I called the number and got an office in another town that was handling his calls because he had a trouble call to go on. The lady I talked to didn’t know the exact services and prices for our town. She actually told me, “I reserve the right to be wrong.” If I make it through the weekend, I’ll go back to the office on Monday.

The Commander showed up later Friday evening with a load of stuff. After we unloaded, we went into Minnesota for Jake’s Pizza and a Sprawlmart run for groceries.

Saturday, June 7th, Day Two

The Commander’s Mom and Sisters came down from Minneapolis today. We visited for a bit and went to the diner for lunch (dinner). They left right after. Then the excitement began.
Unpack, mow, unpack, mow, unpack, rototill, plant tomato plants using kitchen spoon as trowel and slice open palm of hand in three places, wash clothes, wash clothes, wash clothes.

When I sent out an email with my new address, I said it was in case anyone wanted to send me a Christmas card. Guess what was in the mail today? A Christmas card. Kathy, you so funny. Thank you so much. Keeping in the spirit, we watched A Charlie Brown Christmas tonight.

Sunday, June 8th, Day Three


The Commander got up and headed back to Oklahoma bright and early this morning. I had a nasty case of the sleepies. I could not get out of bed and function. Finally, I managed to get up and showered about noon. We ate lunch and headed back up to Minnesota. (We are only 9 miles from the border. 20 miles to a town large enough to have real stores.) We spent quality time and money in ShopKo (Four new DVDs!) Including Godzilla. We are watching it now.) and headed back home. I unpacked three more boxes and made supper.

My goals for this week:
GET CABLE AND DSL!
Get someone to install a fence for the dogs.
Unpack at least 10 boxes.

I’ll try to take the computer with me to Minnesota tomorrow. There is a Starblechs up there that will hopefully have wi-fi.

This is harder than I thought it would be. We don’t really know anyone and The Boy is very sad about not having anyone around to play with. I keep telling him he will meet people, but it will take time. I’m having problems keeping him entertained, the dogs corralled and trying to get organized. I need my husband!

Monday, June 9th, Day Four

Unpacked 2 1/2 boxes. Woo! Slow going I know, but this house has a lot less storage than the one we just left. I’ve got most of my kitchen stuff unpacked and we all know that is the most important, right?

The dogs are driving me crazy. Scotch, aka Sir Chomps-A-Lot, managed to drag the middle cushion off of the couch in the den and chew chunks out of both sides of it. It is still useable, but we may have to get a slipcover for the couch.

Cooper, aka Houdini, has managed to bend the chain link in the corner and get out of the 10 X 10 dog kennel we have been keeping the dogs in when they are outside.

Makes me want to ship both of them off to boarding school.

I am meeting with a guy tomorrow night to get an estimate on the fence. Couldn’t happen soon enough.

Finally got in touch with the cable guy and he is going to hook us up with cable, DSL and phone tomorrow. I certainly hope so. We have watched three or four National Geographic videos and are currently watching The Music Man. We have also played Trouble, Snap and the Playstation. And scooped poop.

Trash day is tomorrow so there’s that.

Did I mention I need my husband?

On the bright side, The Boy met a friend at the park! He is in the same grade, in Scouts and his birthday is two weeks after The Boy’s. I hope it works out. He came over to the house for a bit and seems nice.

The neighbor kitty corner from us brought over a fresh out of the oven Rhubarb Crisp.

The Commander’s Aunt and Uncle came over and brought fresh out of the oven Apple Pie and Ice Cream.

I guess I’m going to have to wait a bit to start losing weight…

Tuesday, June 10th, Day Five


We have phone, internet and cable!

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

LOL Ricci

cat
more cat pictures

__________

I watched Black Snake Moan this weekend. That was a different sort of movie.

I got your dinner right here.

Three women: one engaged, one married, and one a mistress, are chatting about their relationships and decide to amaze their men....that night all three will wear a leather bodice S&M style, stilettos and mask over their eyes .

After a few days they meet again.....


The engaged girlfriend said: 'The other night, when my boyfriend came back home, he found me in the leather bodice, 4' stilettos and mask. He said, 'You are the woman of my life, I love you...then we made love all night long.'


The mistress stated: 'Oh Yes! The other night we met in the office. I was wearing the leather bodice, mega stilettos, mask over my eyes and a raincoat. When I opened the raincoat, he didn't say a word. We just had wild sex all night.'


The married one then said: 'The other night I sent the kids to stay at my mothers for the night, I got myself ready, leather bodice, super stilettos and mask over my eyes. My husband came in from work, grabbed the TV controller and a beer, and said, 'Hey Batman, what's for dinner?'

Friday, May 23, 2008

Freecycle rocks

I love some of the messages I get from the Freecycle board.

This one came this morning. (HE = high efficiency. You know, the type that needs LOW SUDSING SOAP.)

If you have ever been told that it is OKAY to put liquid laundry soap of any kind in your he washing machine...well it's a LIE! I did and
now my machine is broken- literally. I NEED several parts and the
repair man has yet to call back. If you have a Whirlpool duet washer
that can be used for parts, please let me know. Otherwise, I'm looking
at $$$ in repairs.

Thank you,
Crystal

Thursday, May 22, 2008

The fools are out.

School's out! So now I will commence my boast post.

Shorty is graduating tomorrow night! I became his stepmonster when he was four years old and now he is a semi-adult.

On Saturday, he has his Eagle Scout Court of Honor. I was helping him with his script last night and when we got to the part where he gives his mom and dad the Eagle Parent pin, he said, "We have to put you in there." Yea me! But then we couldn't think of what to say about me. Well, I could think of lots of amusing things to say about me, but since he is a grumpy old man, he didn't appreciate them.

The Boy got his final report card and reading test results yesterday. The good news is he gets to go on to third grade next year. The great news is that he is reading at a fifth grade level. Woo!

__________

I turned in my letter of resignation at work. Less than two weeks to go. They are having a big drinking party...oh who am I kidding? DRINKING party to send me off. I'm going to bawl like a baby. I'll miss you all. Some more than others. : )

__________

It's a lot like nature. You only have as many animals as the ecosystem can support and you only have as many friends as you can tolerate the bitching of. - Randy K. Milholland,

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

I thought it was funny...

The other day I looked out of the front window to see The Commander with the garden hose spraying weed killer.

Me - How's it going?
Him - I need a longer hose.
Me - THAT'S WHAT I SAID! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

'Cause I'm funny that way.

Well, I am a tomboy...




You Are a Salty Person



When it comes to snacks, you're more likely to grab a bag of chips over a bag of cookies.



There's a good chance you're male (men prefer salty snacks)...

Or at least, you feel very comfortable in male dominated environments.



Your taste tends to be complex, sophisticated, and adult.

You tend to crave your favorite restaurant meal... or mom's cooking.

Monday, May 19, 2008

Not me

You get the ball, I'll get the geese.

No, you get the ball, I'll get the geese.



Fine! I'll get the ball!



Psyche!

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

No news is good news. Right?

Kinda creepy.

We have a reader.

My Son. He is a reader. He is nearing the end of second grade and is reading up to a 5.1 grade level (and comprehending!).

Therefore and thusto, we are on the lookout for Chapter Books! If anyone has any old books that their kids have outgrown or whathaveyou, we would love to have them.

We are currently on the lookout for:

The Chocolate Touch by Patrick Skene Catling

The Mouse and The Motorcycle by Beverly Cleary

Marley A Dog Like No Other by John Grogan

D'Aulaires Book of Greek Myths by Ingri D'Aulaire and Edgar Parin D'Aulaire

Thanks Interweb. You rock!

Thursday, May 08, 2008

IIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEE!!!

The Caffeine Click Test - How Caffeinated Are You?
Created by OnePlusYou

Wednesday, May 07, 2008

Product Review

Heidi-Ho. Product review time again. This should be the last one for a few weeks so as not to alienate my reader. Hi reader!

Mom Central and Ocean Spray sent me a couple of samples of their new juice drink, Cranergy.

From the website:
Do you need a little help to get through your busy day? We sure do, which is why we created Cranergy™, a delicious and naturally energizing juice drink. Cranergy™ is made from our refreshing cranberry juice, which we've enhanced with natural energizers like green tea extract and B vitamins. Made with Splenda® brand sweetener, Cranergy™ has only 35 calories per eight-ounce serving, 50 percent fewer calories than other leading energy drinks and traditional sodas. Cranergy™ is a "good for you" kind of energy that helps you get stuff done!

It isn't as strong as most of the cranberry juice drinks I have had. I liked that a lot.

I could really taste the green tea flavor in it. I haven't had green tea before, so it was kind of a shock.

It is flavored with Splenda so it has a little of the artificial sweetener taste.

Overall the taste is very light and enjoyable.

Product Review

At work, we have always used Norton products to take care of our computers. So when Mom Central offered me the chance to try Symantec Norton 360 out at home, I gave it a try.

From their website:
Norton 360 Version 2.0 delivers industry leading protection and performance in an easy to use all-in-one solution. With a single subscription up to three PCs are protected, safeguarding your family by verifying trusted Web sites, blocking fake ones, and securely managing user names and passwords so that they can safely shop, bank, or browse online. Norton 360 V2.0 also helps keep your PCs running at peak performance and protects your data by making it easy to automatically back up and restore files locally or to a secured online storage service.

I have a MacBook at home. Since Macs aren’t as virus-prone as PCs are, I have never really given security a thought. But my husband just recently bought a PC laptop and I know what can happen with those.

Norton 360 is so easy to use. It is pretty much “set it and forget it”. My husband is totally a non-techie and he has no problem with it. It runs in the background and doesn’t give you the horrible pop-ups every few minutes like some anti-virus and spyware programs do. Plus, it doesn’t slow down the speed of your computer. Big Plus.

If you haven’t had a chance to use Norton products, I suggest you give them a try.

Tuesday, May 06, 2008

Amen!

100 things I have done. (Did? Dood?)

People have lists of things they want to do, but I wanted to do a list of things I have done.

What about you?

1. Attend at least one major sporting event: Dodgers vs. Astros, Fiesta Bowl, KC Royals Game, a few Atlanta Braves games.

2. Throw a huge party and invite every one of my friends: I’ve had a few of those.

3. Be an extra in a film: I was an extra in a commercial. Does that count?

4. Make love on a forest floor: In the woods, beside the lake.

5. Learn how to take a compliment: Why, thank you.

6. Be a member of the audience in a TV show: The Price is Right and A Different World.

7. Get to know my neighbors: I miss my old neighbors.

8. Plant a tree: I have planted many trees!

9. Learn not to say yes when I really mean no: I have amazed a co-worker with this ability.

10. Write a fan letter to my all-time favorite actor or actress: Wrote a fan letter to Tom Hanks when he was on Bosom Buddies. He sent me a postcard thanking me for “the lovely letter”!

11. Visit the Senate and the House of Representatives to see how Congress really works: I went to Girls’ State and learned all of this, but I have been to the Oklahoma Capitol and experienced this first hand.

12. Fall deeply in love: Did it!

13. Be someone's mentor: I had a couple of students I mentored. I miss them too.

14. See a lunar eclipse: These are really cool.

15. Get passionate about a cause and spend time helping it, instead of just thinking about it: I was on the Board of Directors for Big Brothers/Big Sisters here in town for four years and was Executive Vice-President for one term.

16. Make a complete and utter fool of myself: Who hasn’t done that?

17. Write my will: Done it. Need to revise it.

18. Sleep under the stars: Did it until the storm rolled in.

19. Learn how to complain effectively -- and do it!: Sheez. I complain in my sleep I’m so good at it.

20. Spend a whole day reading a great novel: I was sick last week. I read three.

21. Learn to juggle with three balls: I can do this for a short period of time.

22. Find a job I love: I have had two of those.

23. Buy my own house and then spend time making it into exactly what I want: We had ours built like we wanted it and have made it entirely ours.

24. Grow a garden: Would be nice to have one the deer didn’t get into.

25. Drive a convertible with the top down and music blaring: Shuh. My first car out of college was a convertible. Then I got a family.

26. Accept myself for who you are: I accept, but don’t really like it from time to time.

27. Learn to use a microphone and give a speech in public: Yuck.

28. Attend one really huge rock concert: Dave Matthews Band and The Rolling Stones.

29. Be able to handle: my tax forms, Jehovah's Witnesses, my banker, telephone solicitors: Done, done and done.

30. Give to a charity – anonymously: All the time.

31. Fart in a crowded space: No comment.

32. Make love on the kitchen floor: Again, no comment.

33. Create my own web site: Here you are!

34. Visit the Holy Land: Tried to…



Heh. Just kidding.

34. Look into your child's eyes, see yourself, and smile: Dang kid looks just like me.

35. Be interviewed on T.V.: I make TV for a living so I have found my way on screen from time to time.

36. Get married: 13 years, 7 months ago.

37. Have a family: 8 years, 3 months ago.

38. Go to a Broadway stage show: We saw Phantom of the Opera last year.

39. Watch a sunset with someone special: The Commander and I used to go and sit on the dock and watch the sunset at least once a week.

40. Fill up my bookshelf with books: Overflowing!

41. Own a house: I own #3 and #4 right now.

42. Help build a house for a homeless family: I volunteered with Habitat one weekend.

43. Pay off my student loan: I only had one student loan for $200 during my college years. I paid it off right away.

44. Publish a book of my photos: I did this with iPhoto for my MIL and The Commander.

45. Air travel in first class: It was a short trip, but I managed to down a couple of Bloody Marys.

46. Learn how to eat properly with chopsticks: Still prefer a fork.

47. Develop a roll of film from my own photographs: I took a photography and darkroom class years ago.

48. Visit a pub in London: Awesome experience.

49. Visit the Alps in Switzerland: Totally awesome experience.

50. Help someone get into or through college: Do your kids count? This crap is hard.

51. Go peach picking and make cobbler: Oh yeah.

52. Meet someone famous: Gordon Jump – WKRP and the Maytag repairman.

53. Take tap dancing lessons: When I was in Kindergarten.

54. Tithe: Every month.

55. Go to religious services other than my own: Catholic, Seven Day Adventist and Latter Day Saints.

56. Rewire a lamp: I am Ms. Electrician. You have a ceiling fan you need hung? I’m there. Your outlet doesn’t work? I can fix it.

57. Have a family portrait taken: It is tough, but it can be done.

58. Be bold and take my action figures out of the box: Value be damned!

59. Go to the top of the Eiffel Tower: Loved it.

60. Know where my things are at a banquet: BMW. Left to right – bread, meal, water.

61. Become an editor and get paid to correct other people's grammar errors: Heh, I get to do that from time to time.

62. Get a tattoo: My tattoo will turn 21 years old on the 19th of this month.

63. Get my belly button pierced: For three weeks. My pants kept snagging it.

64. Dye my hair an outrageous color: Um, let’s not talk about that.

65. Play Laser Tag: Did it in February. Fun!

66. Ride a motorcycle: Been doing it since I was little. Currently own two of them.

67. Take a picture in a photo booth: I miss photo booths.

68. Hold a bear cub: These guys are so cute.

69. Stay awake for 24 hours: 38. I don’t recommend it.

70. Watch a movie being filmed: Did for a short time, but someone from the crew got all bent out of shape.

71. Get a book autographed: I got to meet Debbie Macomber last May.

72. Get something published in a newspaper or magazine: Some of the photos I have taken at work have made it.

73. Ride in a helicopter: I was nervous at first, but once I was up there, it was great.

74. See a movie at a drive-in: It has been a while.

75. Get a professional massage: You betcha!

76. Draw on a wall: My wall at work has a large chalk drawing of a hibiscus flower.

77. Donate blood: It is hard for me because I have wonky veins.

78. Be on the front page of the Sunday paper: Did it! The Daily Oklahoman had a large, color photo of me and the Commander at an Oklahoma State/Iowa State football game.

79. Get a college degree: BA in Radio/Television/Film Production and Performance with a Minor in English.

80. Rescue a dog from the pound: His name is Cooper and he has been with us for 2 ½ years.

81. Win at a Bingo Hall: Bingo!

82. Crash a tailgating party: They didn’t know me, but I still got beer.

83. Catch something and eat it: Crappie and bass. Yum.

84. Take my son on a toy shopping spree: He got a lot of cash for his birthday one year. He spent loads.

85. Win an award: Scholar Athlete in high school.

86. Go to State in an athletic even: 4th place in the Discus my Freshman year.

87. Process inmates into jail: Crazy, but yes, I have done this.

88. Sip a Tequila Sunrise while at the horse track: My dad bought it for me.

89. Eat a doggie treat: Just once. I was curious.

90. Watch the movie Grease 13 times: It was when it first came out on HBO. I’m a fan.

91. Eat Bison, Elk, Emu, Ostrich, Deer or other wild animal: I have had them all in Jerky form. Tasty.

92. Have a smiley face inlaid into my porcelain crown: It broke, but now I have a paw print and Saturn.

93. Learn to correctly make chicken gravy: It took a while, but I got it down.

94. Reconnect with a high school friend: In the process right now. I got in touch with her dad and he is passing the message along.

95. Sit and listen to nature: Frogs, geese, and birds (including woodpeckers and wild turkeys) are making up the majority of the ambient noise at my house right now.

96. Get high blood pressure: Not funny.

97. Get high cholesterol: Still not funny.

98. Get TMJ: Funny? Not at all.

99. Get Carpal Tunnel: Shut up.

100. Live 40 years: Done.

Thursday, May 01, 2008

WooHoo!

Gary just said, "Hook Echo"! Everyone take a drink!

Monday, April 28, 2008

Sometimes...

piano is hard.

Friday, April 25, 2008

I told you he was smart

but did I mention his looks?



He picked up his tux for prom yesterday so I whisked him out to the Garden to snap some photos to put in with his graduation invites.

I did a pretty decent job if you ask me.

Go ahead. Ask me.

(The one above was tweaked in PhotoShop, but these are SOOC.)





Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Looking for ideas?

My 40th is a couple of weeks away. If y'all want to go in together, y'all can get me this. (In Latte)

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Come here often?

humorous pictures
see more crazy cat pics

Monday, April 21, 2008

Product Review

Thanks to Mom Central, Kelloggs and Animal Planet, we got a chance to try this...



Their first mistake? Sending it to me. I had about three bowls of the stuff over the course of two days before I had to put it up so The Boy would get a chance to try it. And try it he did.

He really liked it. He asked for a second bowl and he rarely does that. A few days later, he asked me when the cereal was coming to the store because he really wanted to get some more.

It doesn't taste very sweet. They say it is a chocolate and vanilla taste, but I couldn't really tell one way or the other.

The pieces are animal shaped, but we couldn't tell what animals they were. Luckily, they tell you on the inside of the box.

Speaking of the box, here is a look at the back...



It has animal trading cards you can cut out, trivia and games. The Boy would get so interested in the box, he would forget to eat the cereal!

We will definitely be buying this when it comes out. If you see it on the shelves, pick up some and tell me what you think.

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Dear Friends and Family

(Here is your Christmas letter. In April. I'm either really late or very early.)

Not a lot happening around here.

The Boy is still going to piano lessons and Scouts. He is still reading two grade levels ahead. Still can't spell worth a lick.

Shorty is counting the days down to Graduation and is busy dealing with all of the ROTC and Iowa State paperwork that has been coming his way. So far he has four scholarships that will provide him with puh-lenty of money for the next four years (although he needs enough for the next five years due to ROTC and his major (Civil Engineering) taking a bit longer than most).

The Commander is probably going off of Active Duty in the next few weeks, but he may be applying to work for the Inauguration. I think it would be cool. How many people do you know have been part of a Presidential Inauguration? Plus, I want to go to Washington DC to see the sights.

I'm still in Occupational Therapy for my Carpal Tunnel. It is getting better, but not better enough. And I deleted all of my bookmarks on my computer this morning. Snap.

Here is one of the funniest things I have seen in ages. Enjoy. (Thank you Cursing Mama!)



Oh, and we put our house up on the market last weekend.

__________

There is no such thing as "fun for the whole family." - Jerry Seinfeld

Friday, April 11, 2008

Dumbasses

Wednesday, April 09, 2008

The Apple Doesn't Fall Far From The Literal Tree

I survived the Great Southern Plains Rendezvous of 08!

(We made it through a weekend of Scout Camp. Next time, remind me to take the air mattress just in case I am too big of a princess to use just a sleeping pad. (I am.))

A bunch of the little monkeys were climbing this great-for-climbing tree. The Boy asked if he could climb the tree. Uh, Hell to the No. We were out in the middle of nowhere. I know how graceful he is (He gets that from me.) and I didn't want to risk it. He kept asking and kept asking and kept asking until he wore me down.

"Okay, but don't go real high and BE CAREFUL."

This caused much elation on his part. He spun around and took off running toward the tree. Then he immediately tripped over a tent stake and went ass over tea kettle.

There ya go.

__________

Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong. - George Carlin

Thursday, April 03, 2008

What would you do?



__________


COLD IS A RELATIVE THING . . .

65 above zero: Floridians turn on the heat.
People in Iowa plant gardens.

60 above zero: Californians shiver uncontrollably.
People in Iowa sunbathe.

50 above zero: Italian & English cars won't start.
People in Iowa drive with the windows down..

40 above zero: Georgians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, wool hats.
People in Iowa throw on a flannel shirt.

35 above zero: New York landlords finally turn up the heat.
People in Iowa have the last cookout before it gets cold.

20 above Zero People in Miami all die.
Iowans close the windows.

Zero: Californians fly away to Mexico
People in Iowa get out their winter coats.

10 below zero: Hollywood disintegrates.
The Girl Scouts in Iowa are selling cookies door to door.

20 below zero: Washington DC runs out of hot air.
People in Iowa let the dogs sleep indoors.

30 below zero: Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
Iowans get upset because they can't start the Snowmobile.

40 below zero: ALL atomic motion stops .
People in Iowa start saying..."Cold enough for ya?"

50 below zero: Hell freezes over.
Iowa public schools will open 2 hours late.

Monday, March 31, 2008

Product Review

The fine foks at Mother Talk sent me a copy of Stefanie Wilder-Taylor’s new book “Naptime is the New Happy Hour” and asked me to review it. Here goes.

First, a little from the back cover…

Motherhood -- it's not for wimps.

Once the zigzagging hormones and endless, bleary-eyed exhaustion of the first year have worn off, you're left with the startling realization that your tiny, immobile bundle has become a rampaging toddler, complete with his or her very own, very forceful personality.

Just as Sippy Cups Are Not for Chardonnay helped debunk decades of parenting myths to offer honest advice for the first year, Naptime Is the New Happy Hour is a voice of reason for every woman facing questions such as: Will refined sugar make my toddler's head explode? Is it wrong to have a cocktail at two in the afternoon? And what exactly is a Backyardigan?

With biting wit and boatloads of common sense, Stefanie Wilder-Taylor addresses all these concerns and more. Whether it's planning easy outings that are fun for both of you (fact: your child will find the local Target just as scintillating as the Guggenheim), dishing the dirt on preschool TV (those mothers who swear their kids don't watch television? Liars or psychos, every one), or perfecting the art of the play date, readers will find advice, anecdotes, and a reassuring sense of camaraderie to help them survive -- and even thrive -- during each hilarious, frustrating, and amazing moment.


And a little about the author from her Blogger profile…

One thing to know about me is that I don't like people who say "one thing to know about me." That statement tells me a lot about a person. Like that I probably don't want to know about them. Another thing to know about me is I can be a little testy. I am married to a man whose character is way too great to be believed, had a daughter on Nov. 12, 2004, used to be a TV writer and comedian but now I'm trying to live off of my books "Sippy Cups Are Not For Chardonnay: And other things I had to learn as a New Mom" and "Naptime Is the New Happy Hour." Oh and I recently had TWIN GIRLS! Need I say more?

Now my review…

Hated this book.

The end.

Seriously though, I really did not like this book. I think the author is trying to hard to be funny and it just isn’t cutting it. She insults just about everyone – the Pampered Chef demonstrator she calls The Cult Leader, the Spanish speaking gardener, “towel heads”, the Gays, etc.

She says she only moved ten miles or so away from her friends, but she is too lazy to go and see them so she needs to make new ones. Within the first 50 pages of the book, she pretty much narrows down what she wants in a friend, and says, quite frankly, that if you don’t meet certain requirements, she doesn’t want you as a friend. Guess what Stefanie? If you live your life the way you write, I wouldn’t want to be your friend.

Now I know you are supposed to take this humor tongue-in-cheek, but it just isn’t funny. She makes so many references to alcohol and drugs (legal and not) that it really makes you wonder.

Thank you Mother Talk for letting me review this book, but it just didn’t cut it for me.*

(If you want to read a really funny book about parenting, check out The Sweet Potato Queens.)


*Anyone want my copy? Leave me a comment and I’ll draw a name and let you endure the “humor”.

Thursday, March 27, 2008

The Weather is Warming Up!

So please watch out for bikers.

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Product Review

The kind folks at Mom Central and Kelloggs hooked me up with some...



I received a box of the cheddar flavor and we gave them a try. They were pretty good. They didn't seem to have a lot of cheddar flavor, but they were still pretty good.

So I went to the store and bought a box of the original flavor. These, my friends, were KRAZEE DELISH! As I'm typing this, I have a small bowl of them perched on the arm of the chair.

You first get the buttery taste of the cracker, then a quick taste of the salty pretzelly goodness, then back to the buttery crackerness.

I highly recommend Townhouse Flipsides. And I thank you Mom Central and Kelloggs for letting me review these Prackers? Cretzels?

__________

Sharing food with another human being is an intimate act that should not be indulged in lightly. - M. F. K. Fisher

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Hey Y'all

Here it is...




__________

I've got a couple of product reviews I will be posting later in the week. One item isn't too bad, but the other is not so good. As a matter of fact, if I find out any one of you goes out and buys the product I didn't like, I will come to your house and beat you with it. Kisses!

__________

I've signed up to walk the 2k for Remember The Ten. My friend Kendall was killed in the plane crash seven years ago. I miss him.

__________

Hold a true friend with both hands. - Nigerian Proverb

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Road Trip!

I'm taking a road trip with my parents later this week. Therefore and thus to, I must restock the CD changer with muh country music.

Out with The Offspring, in with Dolly Parton.
Out with the Suburban Legends, in with George Strait.
Out with Jim Croce, in with Merle Haggard.
Out with Rufus Wainwright, in with Willie Nelson.
Out with Journey, in with Vince Gill.
Out with The Rugburns, in with Shania Twain.
Out with The Dandy Warhols, in with The Bellamy Brothers.

__________

I found me a T-shirt that says, "What part of Y'all don't you understand?" I don't need any new shirts, but I love this one! Should I get it?

There's also one that says, "You say potato, I say tater". hehe

__________


If you ever start feeling like you have the goofiest, craziest, most dysfunctional family in the world, all you have to do is go to a state fair. Because five minutes at the fair, you'll be going, 'you know, we're alright. We are dang near royalty.' - Jeff Foxworthy

Monday, March 17, 2008

Puttin' the foot down.

The Boy has had this bad habit of saying "Fine!" every time he doesn't get his way. As in "Boy, pick up your shoes and put them where they are supposed to be." "Just a minute." "No, now." "Fine!" The way he says it though, makes me fill in the blank afterward. "Fine! (I'll do it, but only because you are my Mom and you have the power! Sneer.)"

I finally had it. Up to where? Here! So I told him every time he said "Fine!", he lost 25 cents of his allowance. Zoinks!

He then started to say, "All right!" as in "All right! (I'll do it, but I would rather be saying, "Fine!" Sneer.)"

That got old real quick. So guess what this mean old Mom did? I told him from now on, he is to say, "Yes Ma'am."

Mwaaahahahahahaha!

Oooooooo, how he hates that.

Friday, March 14, 2008

Dear Husband,

When you call me at work and ask if the pants on top of the dryer (folded) are clean and if the sweatshirt (not folded) in the dirty clothes basket is dirty, I'm guessing you are bored.

Love,
Your Wife

P.S. Thanks for doing the laundry. Please use dryer sheets.

Thursday, March 13, 2008

I lurve these kittehs

Humorous Pictures
Enter the ICHC online Poker Cats Contest!

Saturday, March 08, 2008

I'm still here!

And I still love you!

Let's see....

Scotch the dog hurt his back right leg, was diagnosed with hip displasia (sp?), got almost better and then tweaked his knee on the same leg. We are supposed to keep him quiet for six weeks. Ha, I say. (Two different types of meds and fish oil.)

The Commander had his tonsils and adnoids removed and his diviated septum straightened. He is slowly getting better. (One med, but the good stuff.)

The Boy got a virus (not a stomach bug, thank goodness) and has been running a fever and coughing like crazy. (Two meds.)

Me? So far so good. Knock wood. I got my new crown (with Saturn on it!). Still have carpal tunnel. Going to the doctor next week and will probably get an injection of cortisone and a referral to an orthopedic surgeon. Oh, I did pop my elbow (on the same arm) a few weeks ago and it still hurts. My arm is out to get me.

So how are you doing?

Friday, February 29, 2008

Dear California,

Seriously?

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Greetings People of Sao Paulo, Brazil!

I have had visitors from Brazil! How they got here, I don't know, but welcome!

__________

They come in threes...

1. Carpel Tunnel

2. Broke a crown

3. ?????

I had my thyroid tested and it is okay. So, I guess the question would be, why am I so tired, gained so much weight, and all that?

__________

The Commander has to get his deviated septum repaired next week. He also gets to have his tonsils out the same day! Poor fella. I'll take good care of him.

__________



__________

God heals, and the doctor takes the fee. - Benjamin Franklin (1706 - 1790)

Thursday, February 21, 2008

Wanna point and laugh at me?

'Cause I fell on my face this morning.

And it wasn't just a normal, run of the mill fall. It was straight out of the cartoons.

I was carrying a box of 150 DVDs in cardboard sleeves to another building on campus. It had been spitting freezing rain and was pretty miserable. I was thisclose to the building and when crossing the crosswalk, I stepped on a metal plate that covers a drainage area.

Whoop! Whoop! Whoop! The legs started flying. Leaning forward. Leaning backward. Leaning forward again. Then blam! I would have totally face planted if it weren't for the box of DVDs I was holding in front of me.

My knees both hit the concrete. The right way harder than the left. My hands both hit the concrete. Again, the right way harder than the left. (My torso was protected by the box, but the box didn't fair well.) The middle half of both of my pant legs were soaked. AND! PLUS! ALSO! One of the buses was stopped practically across the street letting people on. So I had an audience.

Smooooth.

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

A Vote for Me

is a vote for me!

Contest to win a trip to Vegas, Baby!

Click on the photo and vote for it (if you want) and then tell all of your friends (if you want) to go and vote for me (if they want). No pressure.

Right now the top LOL has 48 votes. I have one (I voted for myself).

Peace out!

crazy, funny pix
More on the online Poker Cats Contest

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Brrrrr

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Happy Valentimes!

Or not. Whatever.



(Thanks Rick.)

••••••••••

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. - Rita Rudner

••••••••••

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Pocky!

Our Cub Scouts were talking about the Chinese New Year last night at their meeting. I took some Chinese snacks for them to experience. The licorice prunes didn't go over well, but the Pocky? They devoured it.







what flavor pocky are you?


[c] sugardew




••••••••••

Food is our common ground, a universal experience.
-James Beard

••••••••••

Thursday, February 07, 2008

Dear Murphy

Stop it already! Seriously!

Sincerely,
A Very Peeved Me

_________________

Remember the cool crowns I have on my teeth?

Let me show you them...



Mr. Smiley Face there on the bottom? He is no longer smiling. As a matter of fact, he just no longer is. At all.

Yesterday I was enjoying the meal the German Club was selling - a brat, hot potato salad, and apple strudel. The strudel was delish, but for some reason, one bite was crunchy. Uh oh. My tongue started poking around in my mouth until it felt the broken tooth. Crapola! As I was walking back to my office, I kept thinking, "Is that my crown? I hope not!" One look in the mirror and guess what? It was my crown. The crown that made my dentist stomp his foot on the floor and exclaim, "I will not put a smiley face on your tooth!"

Feel free to guess what will be on the new crown!

________________

So, Mr. Murphy and your damn law, today I got a temporary crown and the paid off credit card got a big hit. So...

Tuesday, February 05, 2008

Product Review

The folks at Froose teamed up with Mom Central to get some feedback on their products. I volunteered our family to be Taste Testers.

Here's our take on Froose. First, a little about the product...



Each serving of Froose® contains:

* Whole organic grains and fruit
* Complex carbohydrates energy
* Good source of fiber - 3 grams (soluble & insoluble)
* Naturally low in sugar
* Organic rice syrup, a complex carbohydrate (which means no sugar highs and no empty calories.)
* Whole organic brown rice
* Wheat and gluten free
* Pasteurized
* Kosher Certified
* Unique whole food innovation
* Made with organic ingredients

The Taste Testers...

Me
The Commander
The Boy

First up - Perfect Pear

Me - It has the consistency of nectar. (Which I can't stand.)
The Commander - It is bitter.
The Boy - It tastes like real pears, but not like juice.

The Verdict - No thanks.

Next - Playful Peach

Me - Ugh.
The Commander - ::: Nose Wrinkles :::
The Boy - It tastes okay at first, but then it leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

The Verdict - No Thanks.

Lastly - Cheerful Cherry

Me - Hmmmmmm. Not too bad. I can't stand artificial cherry flavor. If I inadvertently pop a cherry Jolly Rancher into my mouth, it will shoot out with much more force than it went in. Cheerful Cherry does not have a fake cherry taste! It also doesn't have that nectar thickness to it like the other two or the graininess (from the rice flour I'm guessing).
The Commander - Refuses to participate any further.
The Boy - Well, if it is the only thing to drink, I will drink it, but I wouldn't want it as a snack.

Verdict - I was the only flavor I finished.

I would recommend at least giving Froose a try. Your kids may not be as picky as my kid. Let me know if you do.

Monday, February 04, 2008

Happy Birthday Chick

Today is your 8th birthday. Where did the time go?

I love you so much my heart aches just a little. I especially love your cute little nose and those crazy little freckles (which you hate with a passion). I love the way you still yell, "Mom!" and come running toward me when you haven't seen me in a while. I love the way you make up jokes. I love the way you read to me. I love how you say, "actually" at the beginning of many sentences. I love the way you pronounce Saturn (Sat-er-in). I love watching you eat spaghetti. I love how much you love your brother. I love how smart you are. I love your furry legs. I love how you love the song "New Head". But most of all, I love you.


9 lbs., 11 oz., 23 in.





















First day of Pre-K


First day of Kindergarten


First day of 1st Grade



First day of 2nd Grade (I failed to get him a back to school haircut. Don't judge.)


All in all, he's a pretty happy boy.