What would you do?

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COLD IS A RELATIVE THING . . .

65 above zero: Floridians turn on the heat.
People in Iowa plant gardens.

60 above zero: Californians shiver uncontrollably.
People in Iowa sunbathe.

50 above zero: Italian & English cars won't start.
People in Iowa drive with the windows down..

40 above zero: Georgians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, wool hats.
People in Iowa throw on a flannel shirt.

35 above zero: New York landlords finally turn up the heat.
People in Iowa have the last cookout before it gets cold.

20 above Zero People in Miami all die.
Iowans close the windows.

Zero: Californians fly away to Mexico
People in Iowa get out their winter coats.

10 below zero: Hollywood disintegrates.
The Girl Scouts in Iowa are selling cookies door to door.

20 below zero: Washington DC runs out of hot air.
People in Iowa let the dogs sleep indoors.

30 below zero: Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
Iowans get upset because they can't start the Snowmobile.

40 below zero: ALL atomic motion stops .
People in Iowa start saying..."Cold enough for ya?"

50 below zero: Hell freezes over.
Iowa public schools will open 2 hours late.