Friday, March 30, 2007

Thank You Sarah Brown!

I want to thank Ms. Sarah Brown for giving me some tips about New York. She certainly didn't have to do this since she doesn't know me, but she did and I really appreciate it.

Go thank her, will ya?

Clicky Clicky

Five Minutes for Mom is giving away a Dyson Slim. Check it out and wish me luck!

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Last Will and Testament

Since I'm going to NY next week, I thought I might ought to post this just in case...

I, Sherry, being of sound mind and body, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means. Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of pinhead politicians who couldn’t pass ninth-grade biology if their lives depended on it, or lawyers/doctors interested in simply running up the bills. If a reasonable amount of time passes and I fail to ask for at least one of the following:

A Bloody Mary
A Margarita
A Doughnut
Chicken Fried Steak
Mashed Potatoes
Cream Gravy
Mexican Food
French Fries
Ice Cream

It should be presumed that I won’t ever get better. When such a determination is reached, I hereby instruct my appointed person and attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes and call it a day.

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

No Cussing This Time

My first case of New York snarkiness!

The USO gives out discount and sometimes FREE tickets to Broadway plays. I called to check if the Commander needs to wear his uniform. The USO woman says no. Just have an ID. She said to check with them before we buy any tickets in case they have some free ones.

Me: Okay.
USO woman: Do you know where we are?
Me: Not exactly...
USO woman: Well, that would help, wouldn't it?
Me: {{{I've been snarked!}}}

NY - 1
Me - 0

Monday, March 26, 2007


I'm going to New York City! Have I mentioned that? The Commander and I are going next week. I'm beyond excited. (And a little nervous.) I've been practicing my cussing. I'm getting pretty good at it so I should fit right in. And I bought an extra memory card for my camera 'cause I know you wanna see the hick in the city.

The Boy and I were talking about it last night. He asked what I would be doing there.

Me - We will be going to the theater. I know you don't like that.
Boy - It depends on the play.
Me - Phantom of The Opera?
Boy - {{{wrinkles nose}}}
Me - See?
Boy - Will you see Lady Liberty?
Me - Yes.
Boy - Will you bring me lots of trinkets from the gift shop?
Me - You betcha!

He is all about the gift shops.

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Miss Stacie, this one is for you.

Sleeping Mommy has a little story about her oldest falling from a chair, busting a head, bleeding, and stitches.

Have I told you our story?

When the Boy was one (A nice day in April. I remember it well.), they were getting ready to eat lunch at daycare. For whatever reason, he decided to stand up in his chair. The chair went one way and he went the other. Face first into the edge of the table. It split his eyelid open. The director called me at work and told me what happened and said, "He may need a stitch." (This is where you see where I am totally opposite from Sleeping Mommy on the freak out meter.) I calmly drove to the daycare, went into his room, and asked the teacher (HI MISS STACIE!), "Did he eat?" (Cause I'm all about nutrition. You need vitamins to coagulate!)

ER? Walk-in clinic? ER? Walk-in clinic?

He wasn't bleeding anymore so I went to the walk-in clinic. He still had blood on his face and looked pretty bad. When I carried him up to the desk and asked the lady, "How long is the wait?" She looked up at us and said, "For you? None." (Note: Blood gets you in quicker.)

By this time, the Commander had made it to the clinic and was in the room with us. The doctor decided not to give him a shot of anesthesia. Instead, they put some on a gauze and told us to hold it on the wound for a bit until the skin around it turned white. Five minutes or so.

'Scuse me? You want me to hold a one-year-old completely still with a medicated gauze stuck on his eye? Have you children, Kind Lady?

I don't know how many minutes later, the Commander and I are totally soaked with sweat after a few rounds of wrestling with the Boy and the skin around the wound is *finally* white.

They strapped him into the papoose thingie to keep him from wiggling around and asked if I wanted to stay in the room.

Not a chance. Call me when you are done. Sorry kid.

Eight stitches later, he's good to go.

I love his little scar. When he is really upset, it gets very red.

Remind me some time to tell you the story of his foot turning ALL THE WAY, COMPLETELY AND TOTALLY, BACKWARD and my mad skilz in keeping from doing a Daniel Boone* all over the place.

*Shooting my lunch. (I love Urban Dictionary's word of the day.)

Friday, March 16, 2007

Boast Post

Parent Teacher conferences this week.

I met with the Boy's Enrichment teacher today. He was tested last October, but I haven't ever asked 1) what test or 2) what the results were.

Today I asked.

1) The Kaufman Brief Intelligence Test Second Edition (KBIT2)

2) Holy Crap

I'm not going into detail because I'm not (quite) one of *those* moms, but let me just say "Upper Extreme". Plus, she said his IQ will go up 10-15 points. Maybe even 20. (Which is quite ironic because when I was pregnant, my IQ dropped at least that many points with that Baby Brain syndrome.)

I asked if there was anything we could do at home to help him out and she said communication. Communication, communication, communication. Talk to your kid. She said that their vocabulary is down 10,000 words from what it used to be. She is having to explain words to kids that she has never had to explain before. When I was growing up, newspapers wrote on a 8th grade level. She says now they write on a 4th grade level. That's crazy.

So anyway, here's an Easter joke for you.

What's invisible and smells like carrots?

Bunny farts.

Heh heh heh

Thursday, March 15, 2007

How you doin?

Thirteen Things about Sherry

1. This was my dishwasher two nights ago.

2. Yummy isn't it?
3. I meet with a repairman today.
4. The estimate to fix Matt's car is $1,156.88.
5. Guy who ran into the car is refusing to pay.
6. He says he barely bumped him and didn't cause that much damage.
7. Guy doesn't know who he's dealing with.
8. I called the assistant city attorney, WHO I KNOW, and got some advice.
9. I got a form yesterday from the police station to send to the Department of Public Safety.
10. If my form is approved, the guy will get his license suspended until he pays.
11. As my brother-from-another-mother says, "You don't f*ck strangers in the a$$."
12. Insert evil laugh here.
13. When I left the police station yesterday, I swear to you, it was all I could do to keep from whipping into Walgreen's, unwrapping four Cadbury Caramel Eggs and cramming them into my mouth right in the middle of the store. I was that stressed. So if any of you kind folks have some extra Caramel Eggs laying around, let me know. I'll send you my mailing address. (Do they sell those by the case?)

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Monday, March 12, 2007

Post #238

You may want to sit down for this one.

Ladies and Gentlemen. I have fought tooth and nail, kicking and screaming, but it has happened. Our household now owns a Play Station 2 (PS2).

There was never really a need for one. Why would we want to own a "video game" and become "couch potatoes" for an unGodly amount of money when we were perfectly content so sit on the couch, eat, and watch TV for free?

But then mention was made of "Guitar Hero" and then "Dance, Dance, Revolution". Grown up human beings who were mothers were singing the PS2 praises.

So I folded. Like a cheap lawn chair. Like a bad poker hand. Like a $2 accordion.

PS2? Check.
Guitar Hero? Check.
Dance, Dance, Revolution? Check.
Some race car game? Check.
Some motorcycle racing game? Check.
Extra steering wheel type controls for racing games? Check.
Memory card? Check.
You may want to step aside when I write this check 'cause it ain't gonna be pretty? Double check.

So far it has been fun. Not Atari fun, but still... DDR kicked my Reubenesque-ass. And that was just on the beginner's practice level. GH is pretty fun (if you have rhythm). The boy was in charge of the whammy bar. If you were in the other room, you could hear me yelling out, "WHAMMY!" Luckily the neighbors are far enough away.

So if you have any PS2 tips, lemme know.

(My tip? Don't choose the VW Bug as your race car. I'm just sayin'.)

Wednesday, March 07, 2007

Whatcha watchin?

Byrneunit wants to know what’s on my Netflix list. I don’t do Netflix. We’re a Blockbuster household. So here’s that…

27. 20 Centimeters

28. New Year’s Day

29. Wah-Wah

30. Tristram Shandy: A Cock and Bull Story

31. Confetti

32. On a Clear Day

There are also 3 or 4 David Duchovny movies and 1 or 2 with The Rock.

I watched Wordplay last night. I really enjoyed it. I love to do crossword puzzles. I don't think I have ever attempted a New York Times puzzle. The NEA and King puzzles get hard enough.

So, what is in your Queue?

Nice Try

I can't choose a favorite, but I'm leaning toward this one...

Friday, March 02, 2007

Long story short(ish)

Matt's car is in my name. Matt's car got rear-ended. Matt's bumper shattered. Matt didn't call the police. Matt didn't call me. (SWTF?) Matt got person's info and went to insurance agent. Matt went to police station to file a report. Matt took friend who witnessed crash to police station to give his statement. Matt's insurance agent called me. Matt's person who ran into him didn't have insurance on vehicle. Matt's person who ran into him didn't have vehicle in his name. Matt's in trouble. Matt's person who ran into him is in trouble. Matt's step-mom is not happy.