Friday, September 26, 2008

Four fried chickens and a coke

Do you drink coke products? Wanna help a lady out?

Since my pots and pans and my toaster are still MIA, I am needing to get new ones. I have been saving My Coke Rewards points to get some pans. The pans are no longer listed, but they have a toaster oven. I currently have 573 points, but I need a total of 2,200. If you or someone you know wants to send me the codes from your coke products, hopefully I can get the toaster oven. (Plus? It is RED!)

Bonus! I have a small, but meaningful gift I can send to the person who sends me the most points by the end of November.

Ready, set, go!

Thursday, September 25, 2008

God's Honest Truth

One day, when a seamstress was sewing while sitting close to a river, her thimble fell into the river. When she cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, 'My dear child, why are you crying?' The seamstress replied that her thimble had fallen into the water and that she needed it to help her husband in making a living for their family.

The Lord dipped His hand into the water and pulled up a golden thimble set with sapphires.
'Is this your thimble?' the Lord asked .
The seamstress replied, 'No.'
The Lord again dipped into the river. He held out a golden thimble studded with
'Is this your thimble?' the Lord asked. Again, the seamstress replied, 'No.'
The Lord reached down again and came up with a leather thimble.
'Is this your thimble ?' the Lord asked. The seamstress replied, 'Yes.' The Lord was pleased with the woman's honesty and gave her all three thimbles to keep, and the seamstress went home happy.

Some years later, the seamstress was walking with her husband along the riverbank, and her husband fell into the river and disappeared under the water. When she cried out, the Lord again appeared and asked her, 'Why are you crying?'

'Oh Lord, my husband has fallen into the river!
The Lord went down into the water and came up with George Clooney.
'Is this your husband?' the Lord asked.
'Yes,' cried the seamstress.
The Lord was furious. 'You lied! That is an untruth!'
The seamstress replied, 'Oh, forgive me, my Lord. It is a misunderstanding.
You see, if I had said 'no' to George Clooney, you would have come up with Brad Pitt.

Then if I said 'no' to him, you would have come up with my husband. Had I then said 'yes,' you would have given me all three. Lord, I'm not in the best of health and would not be able to take care of all three husbands, so THAT'S why I said 'yes' to George Clooney.

And so the Lord let her keep him.

The moral of this story is:
Whenever a woman lies, it's for a good and honorable reason, and in the best interest of others. That's our story, and we're sticking to it.

All Us Women


You can win a free handbag!

They are launching October 15th and are giving away one handbag an hour.

Check it out. Handbag Planet

Wednesday, September 24, 2008


You don't have to be smart to work there.

I don't know if I have told you about the ordeal we had with the school here or not. I'm guessing I didn't, so here goes.

A month or so before school was to start, I started calling the superintendent's office to talk to someone about getting The Boy's records sent up here. No answer. Repeatedly. I called the elementary school's office. The custodian answered. She had no clue. I finally drove up to the school and wandered the halls looking for a human. I ran into the counselor (Nice lady.) and she found someone for me to give our phone number to. I waited about a week and no call. I called back up to the superintendent's office and the secretary answered. Oh yeah, she had gotten my number, but hadn't had a chance to call me yet. I jumped in the car and went up to the office to sign the form to get the records sent up. A week later, still haven't heard anything. I called the school, got transferred to another secretary who told me she had gotten the stuff from the other secretary and would be working on it.

THREE DAYS before school was to start, The Commander, The Boy, and I marched into the superintendent's office and demanded to know what the hell was going on. THREE DAYS before school was to start and no one had bothered to contact us. THREE DAYS before school was to start and we had no idea who The Boy's teacher was much less if he was even enrolled in school.

Oops, sorry, blah, blah, blah, ha ha ha, perfect spot for him, call elementary, schedule meeting with teacher, sorry again, ha ha ha.

So the boy has been in school for more than a month and things have been going well. Until today.

The phone rings and it is the school.

Um...yeah...uh, we don't have The Boy's records from his other school. We faxed the request and we didn't receive anything and so-n-so threw away the fax and I usually keep them and can you give me the name of his old school?


Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Hit the nail on the head for the most part.

What Sherry Means

You are the total package - suave, sexy, smart, and strong.

You have the whole world under your spell, and you can influence almost everyone you know.

You don't always resist your urges to crush the weak. Just remember, they don't have as much going for them as you do.

You are truly an original person. You have amazing ideas, and the power to carry them out.

Success comes rather easily for you... especially in business and academia.

Some people find you to be selfish and a bit overbearing. You're a strong person.

You are friendly, charming, and warm. You get along with almost everyone.

You work hard not to rock the boat. Your easy going attitude brings people together.

At times, you can be a little flaky and irresponsible. But for the important things, you pull it together.

You are wild, crazy, and a huge rebel. You're always up to something.

You have a ton of energy, and most people can't handle you. You're very intense.

You definitely are a handful, and you're likely to get in trouble. But your kind of trouble is a lot of fun.

You are a free spirit, and you resent anyone who tries to fence you in.

You are unpredictable, adventurous, and always a little surprising.

You may miss out by not settling down, but you're too busy having fun to care.

Saturday, September 20, 2008


Your result for Reincarnation Placement Exam...

Garden of Eden

35% Intrigue, 49% Civilization, 56% Humanity, 44% Urbanization.

It's the Garden of Eden for you!

Well, this is about as cozy and simple as life can get. We hope you like it here. The real estate is not well developed, but the garden is top-flight.

Your answers indicate that you basically want to just coast through life. You don't want any trouble, and you don't want any special privileges either. That's fine with us. It's entirely possible to live a pleasant life without trouble or strife, and Eden is the perfect spot for it, as long as you don't... well...

Just try to behave better than the previous tenants. Evictions can be rough.

Take Reincarnation Placement Exam at HelloQuizzy

Friday, September 19, 2008

Happy Talk Like a Pirate Day!

You Are 45% Pirate

Ahoy matey! Ye can think o' yerself as a swashbuckler in trainin'.

If ye study hard an 'do what the captain tells ye, ye may be gettin' part o' the booty.

Get to work on yer pillagin', swordfightin', an' drinkin'.

Ye dasn't want to end up in Davy Jones' locker, so make sure ye pipe down when the captain be around.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008


I've came home to this sort of thing more than once...

see more puppies

see more puppies

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

I'll stab you with a knife.

Monday, September 15, 2008

Dr. Dreamy? Well, he did offer me morphine...

About 9:40 last night, I got a nasty pain going on down toward my lady parts. It got worse and worse and there was some wailing and moaning and tears and a hot pad and finally The Commander asked if I wanted to go to the hospital. Actually, I don't think he finished the question before I screeched YES!

During the 25 minute ride there ('cause we live in the middle of nowhere), the pain eased up, but I was still hurting pretty good.

Long story even longer, we made it there, I told the nurse I was hoping I just had a really bad UTI, I peed in a cup, my blood pressure was high, my abdominal sounds were hyperactive (I didn't mention the huge bowl of Jiffy Pop Kettle Corn I had eaten.), my blood pressure went even higher, I was offered Morphine (turned it down*) and finally diagnosed with a UTI. Or as the nurse put it, "You were right. And it's a bad one." Saw the doctor for less than a minute and left with antibiotics and Vicodin.

The pain, according to the doctor, was a bladder spasm. (Or as my friend, Vinny, put it, spontaneously fluctuating contractions of the piss bag.) I didn't even know a bladder could spasm. I can tell you this, I would prefer my piss bag to never, ever, ever spasm again. That was some crazy pain.

Anywho, so I'm better. Drinking water and cranberry juice.

*I did tell the nurse that if she would have asked if I had wanted the morphine about an hour earlier, I would have gladly taken it.

Thursday, September 11, 2008


It has only taken us three months, but we finally hung the plasma TV up above the fireplace today. And by today, I mean all day.

This morning, I put the brackets on the back of the TV. This afternoon, The Commander put the mount on the wall and this evening, I took the feet off of the TV and we hefted it up onto the wall. I kinda felt like I was back at work. Space out the work so you don't look over eager, right?

Any guesses to the first movie we are watching?

Baby Mama.


Wednesday, September 10, 2008

I like it all!

Your Taste in Music:

Classic Rock: Highest Influence

Adult Alternative: Highest Influence

Pop: Highest Influence

Alternative Rock: High Influence

Country: High Influence

Tuesday, September 09, 2008

I just keep him around to amuse me.

Me - What are you going to be when you grow up?
The Boy - I don't know.
Me - How about a food scientist?
The Boy - I might want to come up with new candies.
Me - A food scientist does that.
The Boy - Maybe I could be just a regular scientist...or a mad scientist. Mwahahahahahah!

Cough Cough Hack

The Commander gave me his boy cooties and now I feel like this...

more animals

Friday, September 05, 2008

I never knew him

but I'm gonna miss him.

Thursday, September 04, 2008

Is it Thursday?

Our town is consolidated with the next town south. Pre-K through 3rd go to school down there. 4th-12th go here. The Boy finally gets to ride a school bus! Evidently the driver likes to yell. Not at him, but it still bothers him. He's sensitive like his mama. :)

I tend to leave the house a little early in the afternoon. (Especially now with the cool weather (65 degrees as I write this)). I park across from the school, open all of the windows in the car and read. It is nice and relaxing.

Today I will pick him up and head west. He takes piano lessons about 20 minutes from here. His teacher used to be a backup singer for Charlie Pride, Roy Clark and Dolly Parton. I still don't know how I like her as a teacher. She is real good with him and very free with her compliments, but the instruction itself leaves a little bit to be desired. Maybe because his former teacher ROCKED I am not giving the new one a fair chance. I told him he would only have to take piano until next summer and then he could take guitar lessons. He wants to play the bass guitar.

After piano, we are hitting the grocery store. This store has a meat counter. Not a deli like Sprawl Mart, but a genuine meat counter with guys in white hats. The selection of meat there is awesome. The meat case runs almost the whole width of the store. You tell one of the men in the white hats what you want, he packages it up and WALKS IT AROUND THE COUNTER AND PUTS IT IN YOUR BASKET. The first time I went there, I kept reaching up and then getting weird looks from the white hat man.

The Commander will stay at home today. He wasn't feeling good last night and this morning he woke up with a terrible sore throat. I patted him on the head and said, "Poor little bunny." I think that made him better.