Wednesday, December 26, 2007
I got a Bacon Press! I knew my mom would come through for me!
I also got another LNT gift card, leopard print flannel PJs and matching slippers, and SIX (6) boxes of chocolate covered cherries. My dad, he's a giver that one.
1. What did you get for Christmas (or whatever holiday you celebrate)?
A Linens N Things gift cards (woo and then hoo!), Lowes gift card, bubble bath, Godiva chocolates, measuring spoons, a three tiered hanging basket thingie for the kitchen, a digital tire pressure gauge, and a jar of pickled garlic. (We haven't opened gifts from my mom and dad yet. We go over there tomorrow.) I bought myself a battery operated glitter lava lamp for $1.00 at the megamart. I love it. I also got a almost poster-sized sheet of homemade paper with flowers and stuff made into it from an artist friend of mine. The Commander and I got ourselves a sectional sofa and recliner as our gift.
2. What was your favorite gift?
I may have to go with the sheet of paper. I have been harping on him for years, years I tell you! about him giving me something he has made.
3. What was the favorite gift that you gave?
Long story. Got a minute? My aforementioned artist friend (The Artist) was jonesing over a little Snoopy magnet I had made. You know, the kind that you make out of a magnet, a picture, and a flat-bottomed clear marble? Anywho, he kept drooling over it, so I found some more Snoopy photos, made three more magnets, got a Altoids tin from The Artist (sneaky, no?), put the magnets (including the one he jones about) in it and gave it to him. He was so stinking excited about it.
4. What was your favorite decoration?
Chancho the Feliz Navidad singing donkey. (His real name is Cisco, but we call him Chancho.)
5. What was your favorite holiday food this year?
One of the ladies at work made homemade Cherry Mash that was crazy delicious. But my mom's Amish Friendship Bread was pretty tasty as well. Nom Nom Nom. Wait! She's making Granny's homemade Banana Pudding tomorrow! That's my favorite to be.
6. What was your favorite holiday candy?
The Cherry Mash mentioned above.
7. What didn't you get to this year?
A bacon press. Was it too much to ask for?
8. Did you have snow?
No, but it snowed pretty much all day today. Didn't stick though.
9. Are the holidays too much stress?
10. New Year's Resolutions - do you make them? If so, what are yours?
Eat more. Exercise less. Cuss more. Clean the house less. (That way when I break them, I don't feel so bad.)
Friday, December 21, 2007
|You Should Have a Pink Christmas Tree|
For you, the holidays represent a time of friendship and sharing.
You're happy as long as you're spending time with the people you care about.
You are passionate about the holidays, and that start of the holiday season makes you very excited.
You sometimes go a bit overboard in your celebrations. You just can't help it!
Passionate, easily excited, sweet, giving, love, friendship, sensitive, caring
Your pink tree would look great with: More pink!
You should spend Christmas Eve watching: The Muppet Christmas Carol
What you should bake for Santa: Rice krispie treats with red and green food coloring
Thursday, December 20, 2007
2. Drink as much eggnog as you can and quickly. You can't find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an "eggnog-aholic" or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it!!!! Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!
3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand-alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.
4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.
5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello???
6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.
7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again.
8. Same for pies. Apple, pumpkin and sweet potato - have a slice of each. Or, if you don't like apple, have two sweet potatoes and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?
9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards.
10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Reread tips: Start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner.
Monday, December 17, 2007
Sunday, December 16, 2007
People have asked if he is getting out of the Army once he gets home. I don't really know. More than two years ago he told me he was retiring as soon as he had completed the assignment he had then. But nooooo. He ended up applying for the Command position of a Unit in Kansas and got it. That's when my troubles began. Army Strong. One Team, One Fight. Hooah. Etc.
I think he is waiting to see if he gets promoted to Colonel this Spring. If he does (cha-ching), he probably will stay in a little while longer. If he doesn't get promoted, he will probably retire sometime next year.
I will tell you these past two years have been really hard on me. I went on anti-depressants when he first left. Once I got over the hump of him being gone, I went off of them, but when they told him he would be staying another year, the depression came back. It wasn't as bad as it previously was and I managed to muddle through it without chemicals. There were days though, like today, I was thanking the nice folks who invented Miller Chill.
I was also very dissapointed in my church family. (The church you just joined, BGirl.)
I had one couple, just one, volunteer to come to my house and help me out. He offered to help mow (I mow about five acres) and she offered to come and help however she could. She even specifically said laundry! I never took them up on the offer because they live about 20-30 minutes away and I felt bad about them coming from so far to help. But no one else offered anything. They would all make noises asking about him or even how I was doing, but that was it. Empty gestures.
The Commander had to go to Kuwait for a meeting. He was only gone about a week, but it was nerve racking. My Pastor asked me one day how I was doing. I told him the Commander was in Kuwait and I was a nervous wreck. His answer? "That sounds nice." WTH? THAT SOUNDS NICE? My husband is in Kuwait, I am a nervous wreck and THAT SOUNDS NICE? Please.
People kept coming up to me almost every Sunday and saying, "I thought you moved to Texas." Then once when the Commander had come home on leave we had went to chuch. While we were getting ready to leave, I heard the Pastor ask the Commander, "So, did Sherry move down to Texas with you?" WHAT? I'm here every stinking week. I teach Sunday School. I go to Wednesday at the Well. What do you mean DID I MOVE?
So that was it. I rarely go to church anymore. I still go and teach Sunday School when needed, but I find if difficult to mingle with people who really don't give a flying fig. When the Commander makes it home, I will probably go more often, but I'll see.
Am I being petty?
My friend/co-worker, V, used to come mow for me, but he got a girlfriend and I ceased to exist after 5:00pm. My friend, L, came over and mowed some. Thank you both so much.
Our friends, R & D, would have us over for supper and The Amazing Race or Survivor every week. That was much needed as well.
Now I'm getting down off of my soapbox. Thanks for listening.
The Boy squeezed in between my chair and the wall a little while ago and rested his cheek on the wall.
Me - What are you doing?
Him - I really do not know.
Friday, December 14, 2007
I felt like we were living in the little house in the big woods this morning. My son went to school with biscuits and beef jerky for lunch. (And a tin cup to get water from the well. Not Really.)
(Hey, it is what he wanted. He also got some goldfish and some Hershey's 100 calorie something or the others.)
Thursday, December 13, 2007
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
Friday, December 07, 2007
What was the last game you purchased?
PS2 Star Wars Lego something or the other.
Name something in which you don’t believe.
If you could choose a celebrity to be your boss, who would you pick?
Yes Sir! I'll get right on that, Sir!
What was a lesson you had to learn the hard way?
Don't lie. I got one of the worse whippings in my life when I lied to my Dad. He said I didn't get the whipping for the thing I said I didn't do, but for lying to him about it.
Describe your idea of the perfect relaxation room.
Comfy, comfy chair or couch, fire in the fireplace, cat on my lap, good book in my hand, side table and lamp.
Wednesday, December 05, 2007
Tuesday, December 04, 2007
But, the eggs were only large and not jumbo so they didn't fill the molds well.
Next time, we are getting bigger eggs.
I still want the molds that are in the shape of a bear and a car and any others that they make. If you know where I can get some, let me know!
Monday, December 03, 2007
Sunday, December 02, 2007
Him - What?
Me - Cat head biscuits.
Him - What?
Me - You know, you squeeze off a lumps of dough about the size of a cat's head and bake them.
Him - You're nuts.
We have a small family cookbook, but the recipe wasn't in it. So, I called my mom and asked her for the recipe for cat head biscuits.
Her - What?
Me - Cat. Head. Biscuits.
Her - Where did you hear that?
Me - I remember one of you guys talking about making cat head biscuits.
Her - I've never heard of them.
Me - I didn't just pull it out of my hind-end.
Her - Well, I don't know whose hind-end you pulled it out of, but I have no idea what you are talking about.
Sigh, my family. They loves me so.
Any of you internet lovelies ever heard of cat head biscuits? Was it your hind-end I pulled it out of?
The Boy and I were movie watching fools this weekend.
We put the tree up, built a fire in the fireplace and watched The Santa Clause 3 on Friday night.
We watched Shrek 3 and Deck the Halls on Saturday.
Sunday, I got up early (Not by choice. My internal clock radio hates me.) and watched Waitress. ( Nathan Fillion is a cutiepie.) You must see this movie.
Later that evening...Hairspray! My favorite lyric? Maybelle's "Who wants a twig when you can climb the whole tree"!
To top it all off, Sunday evening I made Sarah's Mom's Chili again and Pink Stuff. This, I know my mom knows about. It is her recipe in the cookbook. Cool Whip, cottage cheese (the only way I will eat it), dry strawberry jello, bananas, and crushed pinapple. Nom, nom, nom.
Saturday, December 01, 2007
Friday, November 30, 2007
What is your favorite carnival/amusement park ride?
Roller Coasters! The upside-downier the better!
How do you react in uncomfortable social situations?
I am very opinionated (ya think?) and will usually get right up in people's business.
On a scale of 1-10 with 10 being highest, how much do you enjoy discussing deep, philosophical topics?
ZZZZZZZZZZ. Snork. Ugh. Were you talking to me?
Did you get a flu shot this year? If not, do you plan to?
Oops! Best laid plans and all that.
Approximately how many hours per week do you spend watching television?
My TV or The Suite Life of Zach and Cody? 25 hours? Maybe? I dunno. I usually don't stay in one place when the TV is on. Dishes, Laundry, etc. Things gotta be done.
P.S. I just entered a DVD in the Telly Awards. Wish me lots of luck and send good vibes in the direction of the judges (wherever they may be).
Thursday, November 29, 2007
How many total songs?
Sort by song title - first and last…
First: A’ Soalin’ (Peter, Paul & Mary)
Last: 1985 (Bowling for Soup)
Sort by time - shortest and longest…
Shortest: Who’s Knocking on the Wall (TMBG) - :04
Longest: Inna Godda Da Vida (Iron Butterfly) – 17:02
Sort by Album - first and last…
First: Abba - Gold
Last: Van Halen - 1984
Sort by Artist - first and last…
Last: 50 Cent
Top five played songs…
Hey There Delilah (Plain White T’s)
You Bring Me Joy (Anita Baker)
We used to be Friends (The Dandy Warhols)
Lovin’, Touchin’, Squeezin’ (Journey) ***My favoritest song evah!***
Silver Wings (Merle Haggard)
Find the following words. How many songs show up?
First five songs that come up on Party Shuffle…
The Raven and The Coyote (Robert Earl Keen)
Eye Know (De La Soul)
Lost Not Found (Dirty Vegas)
Face of Love (Jewel)
Love Surreal (Nicole Atkins)
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
|You Are a Funny Gift Giver|
Your gifts are wacky, offbeat, and even borderline naughty.
You prefer to give a gift that makes someone crack up...
Forget utility. You prefer to give something that's totally hilarious.
Wow. Thanksgiving. I'm so tired and I haven't even made a dent in the dirty clothes piles.
We went up to our house in Iowa on Wednesday and immediately drove to Minnesota for some awesome pizza from our favorite hole-in-the-wall pizza joint. We returned to the house and what did we find? (drum roll) A leaky pipe! The Commander went to the c-store and got some duct tape for a temp fix. It still dripped, but it didn't spew. We had to coordinate all of our bathroom visits. "I'm turning the water on! Anyone need to go?" or "I'm turning the water on! Everyone needs to shower."
Thursday we went to The Commander's Aunt's house for lunch. I got to try a new food. Lefse. Ever heard of it? I had recently read about people eating it, but I didn't know what it was. Now I do. We told the relatives about the plumbing problem. My MIL and FIL (RIP) were friends with the plumber, so my SIL called him for us and left him a message.
Friday morning we went for breakfast at the new coffee shop and when we came out, the plumber was driving by. He pulled into the parking lot and told us he had been looking for us. I guess he recognized The Commander because he looks just like his dad (RIP). We met him at the house and he got us fixed up. For now. He said there are a couple of things that need to be done in the future and once we get settled in to give him a call and he will come back over.
Then we went and bought me some new furniture! It looks similar to this, but with a
We were so thrilled to get the recliner into the house. We had been sitting on patio furniture. If we hadn't been sleeping on air mattresses, it might not have been a problem, but my back was killing me. We took turns sitting in the recliner to help ease our aching backs. After the first night on a wee thin air mattress, The Commander bought us a fancy, 18" air mattress with memory foam. It was better, but there is nothing like a legit mattress for some quality sleep.
Friday night we were back at the pizza place for a birthday party for some cousins.
Saturday we put in some shelf liner. And put in some shelf liner. And put in some shelf liner. We still didn't get it all in.
We drove over to the University for a bit and stopped at our favorite handmade candy shop where I spent $54 FOR CANDY. Mostly caramels. MMMMMMM. We stopped for supper and I had a couple of weak margaritas that didn't even buzz me. Bummer.
We drove back to Oklahoma on Sunday and I'm about to fall over I am so tired.
So, there ya go.
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
by Frank Herbert
You have control over a great wealth of resources, but no one wants to let you have them. You've decided to try to defend yourself, but it may take eons before you really get back what you feel you deserve. Meanwhile you have a cult-like following of minions waiting for your life to progress. This would all be even more exciting if you could just get the sand out of your eyes.
Take the Book Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.
Y'all have a great
Friday, November 16, 2007
(I have a photo of the fireworks, but since I am the last person on Earth to still have dial-up, I have been waiting a good five minutes for it to load. It is late. I am tired.)
I'll also get the boy to sing "Oklahoma!" and post it for you when I can.
We got another dog. He is an 11 month old Golden Retriever named Amedeus. We don't particularly like that name (For him. For Mozart, it is just fine. Plus, I keep singing "Oooo, rock me Amedeus. Amedeus. Amedeus. Amedeus. Amedeus. Amedeus. Oh, oh, oh, Amedeus. Come and rock me Amedeus!") so we are thinking of alternatives - Ami (ah-me) and Mo are the front runners. Any suggestions? He's very tall and long-legged. Poor Cooper hits him about mid ribs. Poor squat fellow.
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
1. What kind of soap is in your bathtub right now? Olay something or the other (purple on wrapper) bar and Bath and Body Works Sensual Amber wash
2. Do you have any watermelon in your refrigerator? No, but if you would have asked me a few months ago, I would have said yes.
3. What would you change about your living room? Keep the fireplace, everything else must go.
4. Are the dishes in your dishwasher clean or dirty? Clean.
5. What is in your fridge? Milk, Minute Maid Pomegranate Blueberry juice, Harvest Moon beer (yucky), Alizé (yummy), four cooked chicken breasts (I need to figure out what to do with them), leftover Hideaway pizza, 19 eggs, yogurt, jellies, pickles, Country Crock, sliced cheese, apples, etc
6. White or wheat bread? White
7. What is on top of your refrigerator? Camera, two pitchers, two room sprays, junk.
8. What color or design is on your shower curtain? Green, Lavender and Blue. It has squares with leaves on them.
9. How many plants are in your home? 2. Anyone need some Aloe Vera? I got two huge pots outside for the taking.
10. Is your bed made right now? Rarely do I make the bed. I do pull the covers up so they are smooth, but I don’t do the fancy fold-over with the bedspread and pillows.
11. Comet or Soft Scrub? Mrs. Meyer’s Clean Day Countertop Spray in lavender or Mr. Clean’s Power Wipes. For stains, I use a goat’s milk laundry detergent made into a paste.
12. Is your closet organized? Sort of. Fancy Pants on the left, short sleeves hirts on the upper right, pants and long sleeve shirts on the lower right. Underbritches, socks, shorts, pajamas, sweaters and sweatshirts in the shelves. (I have no dresser) Crap I have pulled out, but decided not to wear, on the floor.
13. Can you describe your flashlight? Maglite Mini in purple.
14. Do you drink out of glass or plastic more at home? Joe’s Cups (plastic)
15. Do you have iced tea made in a pitcher right now? No tea, but I do have some lemonade.
16. If you have a garage, is it cluttered? Yes. That’s all I’m going to say on this subject. I can get my car in, that is all that counts.
17. Curtains or blinds? Both.
18. How many pillows do you sleep with? I got some new pillows and I heart them! They are just right so I only have to sleep with one. The package said they are good for side sleepers and they are!
19. Do you sleep with any lights on at night? I would prefer not to, but we have to keep the nightlight on in the hall so The Boy doesn’t tumble down the stairs on his way to the bathroom at night.
20. How often do you vacuum? I vacuum the family/TV room at least twice a week. Sometimes more if needed. The rest of the house is on its own.
21. Standard toothbrush or electric? Standard. And it must be a Mentadent.
22. What color is your toothbrush? Most of the time I have a purple one, but I honestly can’t tell you what the current one is.
23. Do you have welcome mat on your front porch? Living in the country, we have a welcome mat at all three outside doors, plus mats to wipe your feet on inside the house.
24. What is in your oven right now? Some wayward pieces of foil.
25. Is there anything under your bed? Yes, but frankly that is none of your business….
26. Chore you hate the most? Washing dishes.
27. What retro items are in your home? Our new house has flocked wall paper and red shag carpet. The house we are in now is pretty non-retro. We did have an 8 track player.
28. Do you have separate room you use an an office? Well, we call it the office, but it is more like the sewing machine storage room.
29. How many mirrors are in your home? Five. One in each bathroom and one propped up in the corner of our bedroom waiting to be moved to the new house and one on The Commander’s dresser.
30. Do you have any hidden emergency money around your home? We keep rolls of change in a drawer.
31. What color are your walls? White, TV room - pink (supposed to be mauve, but it is more Pepto), master bed - Masquerade (purple), The Boy’s room - blue, Shorty’s room - green, laundry room - country blue.
32. What does your home smell like right now? I don’t know, but Shorty has been having friends over lately and every time they walk in the house they comment on how good it smells. This weekend it smelled like Sarah’s Mom’s White Chicken Chili
33. Favorite candle scent? Grass from Pier 1. They no longer have it and I WANT SOME MORE!
34. What kind of pickles are in your refrigerator right now? Vlassic Kosher Spears and (drum roll please) State Fair Brand Hot Bread and Butter!
35. Ever been on your roof? Not on this house, but I have been on a couple of others.
36. Do you own a stereo? No. I use my DVD Player and the surround sound in the TV room or my boombox in the bedroom.
37. How many TV’s do you have? Five in this house. One in the new house.
38. How many phones? One in the kitchen, one in the TV room, one in the living room, one in Shorty’s room and one in the master bedroom. (Three downstairs, two upstairs) Plus the cell phones.
39. Do you have a housekeeper? I used to use Merry Maids. I’m thinking of calling them up again to really scrub down the house so we can get it ready to go on the market.
40. What style do you decorate in? Decorate?
41. Do you like solid colors in furniture or prints? Solids. Although prints help hide the stains.
42. Is there a smoke detector in your home? Five.
Friday, November 09, 2007
Which snack do you like to get when you go to the movies?
Milkduds! and popcorn with butter of course.
What year did you start using the internet?
What is your first name in Pig Latin? (Here’s how!)
Name something you are picky about.
My sheets on my bed being smooth, no wrinkles! Drives me up the crazy wall.
Fill in the blanks: I ____ ____ yesterday and I ____ ____ today.
I watched Survivor yesterday and I grocery shop today. (yeah, pretty pathetic)
Thursday, November 08, 2007
I have gone up two pant sizes. (I may have had a little something to do with that, but I'm blaming the steriods.)
I have had the cough for (looking at calendar) 29 days. (Somewhat better.)
I just finished my last antibiotic (2nd round) two days ago and this morning I blew out enough florescent gack out of my nose to light up the Gold Coast.
My friend and I were at the craft show the other day when we saw my stepson's mother. For whatever reason, she always has to talk me every time I see her. I don't like her. We are not friends. We never will be friends. Leave me alone!
After we finally managed to get away from her, my friend said to me, "I like how you did that."
"Every time she said, "It's good to see you.", you said, "Thanks!"
Well, I sure wasn't going to say "Good to see you too".
The Boy had his first official piano recital last Sunday. I would have a short video of him playing, but someone (me) didn't push the button hard enough on the camera to actually record the thing. Geez.
Monday, November 05, 2007
Friday, November 02, 2007
The doctor didn't seem concerned about the blood specks. He did seem concerned that I was still coughing. He thinks it is just irritation from the original cold/allergies.
I'm now on my second go round of antibiotics. He said he doesn't like to prescribe them because he thinks they are overused, but he thought I really needed them.
Plus, steriods! Woo. I will now eat my weight in food. Stand back. It isn't going to be pretty.
Tessalon Perles? Don't let them dissolve in your mouth. Swallow them whole. Although you may have been told to take them instead of cough drops, they aren't lozenges. At all. Trust me.
I have since had three more people tell me there is something going around that has a cough that lasts forever.
Oh, and the rib pain? I have never had a broken rib, but this is what I imagine it feels like. Right below my left chesticle it aches a little, but when I cough, I have to clutch my ribs and say, "Ow!" (or if I'm alone I say something quite different. It involves stomp dancing and popsicle sticks.)
The little church ladies are selling their hand-made peanut brittle at the craft fair again. I got five bags of it. They took my phone number so they could call me later to see if I want some more. Duh. I should be in the brittle of the month club and they should automatically send it to me. I love this stuff.
I'm trying to decide - peanut brittle first and then a nap or vice versa?
Thursday, November 01, 2007
We started out at the meet-up house. And don't listen to anything this woman has to say. She will probably tell you that a bunch of moms poured themselves some Mimosas to sip on while walking around with silly hats on while their kids ran around gathering candy. She don't know nuthin'
At one house, the candy giver guy was asking, "Do you want this, this, or this?" The Boy turned around and yelled, "MOM! I'M GETTING YOU A TWIZZLER!" He loves his momma.
So anywho...the cough. It lives on. So far I have taken - Flonase, Zyrtec, Advair, Guaifenex, Histinex and a Z-Pack. The Histinex is the only thing that helps the cough, but it knocks me out.
I have had three different people tell me I probably have walking pneumonia (alas, none of them qualified medical professionals.)
Last night, we stopped by a friends house after
I high-tailed it back to the bathroom all the while telling myself, "Don't throw up. Don't throw up. Don't throw up."
After coughing and retching (tmi?) very violently for a few minutes, I ended up not throwing up (that would have been a waste of perfectly good taco soup), but I did cough up some phlegm with what seemed to be BLOOD FLECKS.
So now I am really worried about this cough. My body aches. My ribs hurt when I cough. And did I mention there may have been BLOOD in my sputum?
Doctor appointment tomorrow morning. I'll keep you advised.
Now where's my damn Twizzler?
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Thursday, October 25, 2007
Cooper says the red-eye-pre-flash is too bright.
The Commander came home on leave and took the boys to Iowa for Fall Break. (Shorty got offered a full 4-year scholarship from the Iowa State ROTC. Woot!) I had four days to myself. I did some crafting. These are those flat-bottomed marbles and magnets thingies. The top row have been given away.
We had some hail.
This guy was on HGTV. WTH?
This is Rocket.
This is Rocket from the side.
This is one of our Cory Cats. I think she may be "with child". Or else she's just a big eater.
I have a new post up over at My Kids Are Pigs.
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
He is now on medical hold. He tore his rotator cuff in his left (I think) shoulder and is waiting to hear about when/where he will have surgery to repair it.
Friday, October 19, 2007
You know you’re an Okie when…
It doesn't bother you one bit to use airports named for two men who died in the same grisly plane crash.
You can properly pronounce all of the following, and without laughing: Eufaula, Muskogee, Pushmataha, Sapulpa, Okemah, Tishomingo, and Chickasha.
You know that the true value of a parking space is determined not by the distance to the door, but rather by the availability of shade.
You readily understand the difference between 3.2 and 6.0 beer, and know what a "beer run" to another state is.
A tornado siren is not cause for alarm, but is usually just your signal to go out in the yard and look for the funnel. (Fun for the whole family.)
You are Okie if you've ever had this conversation with a friend:
* "Ya wanna coke?"
* "What kind ya want?"
* "Dr. Pepper."
You've used at least four of the following words/expressions in daily conversation:
* plumb e.g., "plumb stove up," "plumb tired," etc.
* I swar instead of "I swear"
* fixin' to instead of "preparing to"
* chat instead of gravel
You understand at least five of the following concepts and expressions:
* Dry county
* The B.C. Clark Christmas jingle,
* "Once saved, always saved"
* "Useless as tits on a boar hog."
* "Go Sooners"
* "Shoot far and save the matches"
* Vacation Bible School
* "Peppered cream gravy on everything, please Ma'am"
* Just open all the windows and get in the bathtub.
You can identify at least five varieties of venomous snakes on sight.
You understand that Oklahoma is a Southern, Southwestern, and Midwestern state - all at once. This is not a contradiction in your mind.
The local paper quickly covers national and international headlines on the front page, but requires six pages for sports and two pages for local church news.
Someone you know has used a football schedule to plan their wedding date.
You don't find it the least bit odd to find "chicken fried chicken" on a menu.
You know the difference between "Durant" and "Doorant," and you always know which state has a "Mia-muh," and which one has a "Mia-mee."
You remember the profligate wealth of the Oil Boom, and you fervently pray for those days to return.
A BMW is not nearly the status symbol that a Ford F150 4x4 is.
You don't find it in the least bit odd to find video rentals, ammunition, and live bait all at the same convenience store.
You know all four seasons by heart: Tornado, Summer, Still Summer, Christmas.
You know exactly what calf fries and mountain oysters are, but you eat them anyway.
You've ever been excused from school because "the cows got out."
You can remember the name of the last state legislator to introduce a bill involving castration, and he didn't mean farm animals.
You can recall hot summers by the year they happened easier than you can remember your mother's birthday.
You think that people who complain about the wind in other states are sissies.
A bad traffic jam involves two cars staring each other down at a four-way stop, each determined to be the most polite and let the other go first.
Your "place at the lake" has wheels under it.
Tips for Northerners Moving South
Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later how to use it.
If you forget a Southerner's name, refer to him (or her) as "Bubba". You have a 75% chance of being right.
Just because you can drive on snow and ice does not mean we can. Stay home the two days of the year it snows.
If you do run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in the cab of a four wheel drive with a 12-pack of beer and a towchain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them. Just stay out of their way. This is what they live for.
Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same store.
Do not buy food at the movie store.
If it can't be fried in bacon grease, it ain't worth cooking, let alone eating.
Remember: "Y'all" is singular. "All y'all" is plural. "All y'all's" is plural possessive.
There is nothing sillier than a Northerner imitating a southern accent, unless it is a southerner imitating a Boston accent.
Get used to hearing, "You ain't from around here, are you?"
People walk slower here.
Don't be worried that you don't understand anyone. They don't understand you either.
The first Southern expression to creep into a transplanted Northerner's vocabulary is the adjective "Big ol'", as in "big ol' truck" or "big ol' boy". Eighty-five percent begin their new southern influenced dialect with this expression. One hundred percent are in denial about it.
The proper pronunciation you learned in school is no longer proper.
Be advised: The "He needed killin'" defense is valid here.
If attending a funeral in the South, remember, we stay until the last shovel of dirt is thrown on and the tent is torn down.
If you hear a Southerner exclaim, "Hey, y'all, watch this!" stay out of his way. These are likely the last words he will ever say.
Most Southerners do not use turn signals, and they ignore those who do. In fact, if you see a signal blinking on a car with a southern license plate, you may rest assured that it was on when the car was purchased.
Northerners can be identified by the spit on the inside of their car's windshield that comes from yelling at other drivers.
The winter wardrobe you always brought out in September can wait until November.
If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even the most minuscule accumulation of snow, your presence is required at the local grocery store. It does not matter if you need anything from the store, it is just something you're supposed to do.
Satellite dishes are very popular in the South. When you purchase one it is to be positioned directly in front of your trailer. This is logical bearing in mind that the dish cost considerably more than the trailer and should, therefore, be displayed.
Tornadoes and Southerners going through a divorce have a lot in common. In either case, you know someone is going to lose a trailer.
Florida is not considered a southern state. There are far more Yankees than Southerners living there.
In southern churches you will hear the hymn, "All Glory, Laud and Honor". You will also here expressions such as, "Laud, have mercy", "Good Laud", and "Laudy, Laudy, Laudy".
As you are cursing the person driving 15 mph in a 55mph zone, directly in the middle of the road, remember, many folks learned to drive on a model of vehicle known as John Deere, and this is the proper speed and lane position for the vehicle.
You can ask a Southerner for directions, but unless you already know the positions of key hills, trees and rocks, you're better off trying to find it yourself.
Not for CM 'cause I reckon' I don't want an ass kickin'...
Don't fake a Southern accent. This will incite a riot, and you will get your ass kicked.
Don't order filet mignon or pasta primavera at the Waffle House. It's just a diner. They serve breakfast 24 hours a day. Let them cook something they know. If you confuse them, they'll kick your ass.
We are fully aware of how high the humidity is, so shut the hell up. Just spend your money and get the hell out of here, or we'll kick your ass.
Don't order a bottle of pop or a can of soda down here. Down here it's called Coke. Nobody gives a flying rat's ass whether it's Pepsi, RC, Dr. Pepper, 7-Up or whatever... it's still a Coke. Accept it. Doing otherwise can lead to an ass kicking.
We know our heritage. Most of us are more literate than you (e.g. Welty, Williams, Faulkner, O'Connor). We are also better educated and generally a lot nicer. Don't
refer to us as a bunch of hillbillies or we'll kick your ass.
We have plenty of business sense (e.g., Fred Smith of Fed Ex, Sam Walton, Oprah, Turner Broadcasting, MCI WorldCom, MTV, Netscape). We don't care if you think we are dumb. We are not dumb enough to let someone move to our state in order to run for the
Senate. If someone tried to do that, we would kick his/her ass.
Don't laugh at our Civil War monuments. If Lee had listened to Longstreet and flanked Meade at Gettysburg instead of sending Pickett up the middle, you'd be paying taxes to Richmond instead of Washington. If you visit Stone Mountain and complain about the carving, we'll kick your ass.
Don't laugh at our Southern names (Merleen, Luther, Tammy Lynn, Inez, Billy Joe, Sissy, Clovis, etc.) or we will just HAVE to kick your ass.
Don't order wheat toast at Cracker Barrel. Everyone will instantly know that you're a Yankee. Eat your biscuits like God intended with gravy. And don't put sugar on your grits, or we'll kick your ass.
Don't talk about how much better things are at home because we know better. Many of us have visited Northern hellholes like Detroit, Chicago, and DC, and we have the scars to prove it. If you don't like it here, Delta or US Airways is ready when you are. Move your ass on home before it gets kicked.
Yes, we know how to speak proper English. We talk this way because we don't want to sound like you. We don't care if you don't understand what we are saying. All other Southerners understand what we are saying, and that's all that matters. Now, go away and leave us alone, or we'll kick your ass.
Don't complain that the South is dirty and polluted. None of OUR lakes or rivers have caught fire recently. If you whine about OUR scenic beauty, we'll kick your ass all the way back to Boston Harbor.
Don't ridicule our Southern manners. We say sir and ma'am. We hold doors open for others. We offer our seats to old folks because such things are expected of civilized people. Behave yourselves around our sweet little gray-haired grandmothers or they'll kick some manners into your ass just like they did ours.
So you think we're quaint, or losers, because most of us live in the countryside? That's because we have enough sense to not live in filthy, smelly, crime infested cesspools like New York, Baltimore or Boston. Make fun of our fresh air, and we'll kick your ass.
Last, but not least, DO NOT DARE to come down here and tell us how to cook barbecue. This will get your ass shot (right after it is kicked). You're lucky we let you come down here at all. Criticize our barbecue, and you will go home in a pine box... minus your ass.
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
Like I do every year (idiot), I slept with the windows open before we had a frost. Can the interwebs say "allergies"? I know my doctor can. Five (5) prescriptions and I'm still coughing my lungs out. I've got something for the mucous in my lungs, something for the drainage, something to open up the bronchial tubes, something for the allergies themselves, but most of all, I've got something WITH CODEINE. I'm surprised I'm not as high as a kite or passed out on the floor.
Although passed out on the floor sounds pretty good right now.
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
1. Who is your man?
2. How long have you been together?
Married 13 years on October 15th.
3. How long did you date?
4 1/2 years.
4. How old is your man?
5. Who eats more?
We probably both eat about the same over the course of the day. He puts it away during meals, but I tend to graze.
6. Who said "I love you" first?
He did. And I said, "Thanks." (It took me a while.)
7. Who is taller?
He is -- by 9 inches.
8. Who sings better?
I sing like a stuck pig. He thinks he can sing, so let's go with him.
9. Who is smarter?
I used to think I could kick butt in Jeopardy (Dang, that's a hard word to spell.), but he wipes the floor with me.
10. Whose temper is worse?
He throws baby-fits at the drop of a hat, but mine lasts longer and evolves into grudge-bearing.
11. Who does the laundry?
We both do.
12. Who takes out the garbage?
The whole family gathers, but he takes it down to the road.
13. Who sleeps on the right side of the bed?
He does, but I should. It is closer to the bathroom.
14. Who pays the bills?
We each have our own set of bills we are responsible for. I have the mortgage, the cell phones, and groceries. He has the rest.
15. Who is better with the computer?
That would totally be me.
16. Who mows the lawn?
He does for the most part, but from time to time I will pitch in.
17. Who cooks dinner?
That would be me again. He tends to wander in and throw various spices into whatever I am cooking. Drives me krazee.
18. Who drives when you are together?
He does. I hate to drive.
19. Who pays when you go out?
He does! Woo and then Hoo!
20. Who is most stubborn?
My name is Sherry and I am a Taurus.
21. Who is the first to admit when they are wrong?
I'm never wrong.
22. Whose parents do you see the most?
My folks live less than two hours away. His mom lives 12 hours away. I'm going with mine.
23. Who kissed who first?
He kissed me.
24. Who asked who out?
He asked me out.
25. Who proposed?
He talked about it quite a bit (See #6) then let it go for a while. Finally I told him it was time.
26. Who is more sensitive?
I am. No contest there.
27. Who has more friends?
28. Who has more siblings?
He does. Him - 2 Me - 0 :(
29. Who wears the pants in the family?
We both do. As soon as he gets done with the laundry!
Wednesday, October 03, 2007
Tuesday, October 02, 2007
Cooper didn't mind.
See the bottle of black stuff in the bottom right of the top photo? It is Blavod Black Vodka. It is good for making cool drinks at Halloween. You can get a glass of ice, pour in some orange juice, and then float some Blavod on top of it. It looks really cool until you stir it.
Thursday, September 27, 2007
I had a sloppy sandwich on a croissant. I knew it would slide all over the place when I took a bite so I left the toothpick in to keep it together.
Not a good idea.
I went to take a bite on the side, away from the toothpick, and much to my surprise, the toothpick was put in at an angle. I poked my face just below my bottom lip.
I went ahead and removed the toothpick from the sandwich and then realized I hadn't just poked myself, I pierced myself. There was blood involved. Yummy.
I made a batch of Old Dutch Caramel Corn last night and while I was digging out the ingredients, I noticed a had some bananas on the cusp. I decided to go ahead while I was in cooking mode to make some banana nut muffins. But I couldn't find the nuts. Figures. So I moved on to banana spice muffins. But I didn't have ground cloves. Hmmmmmm. What to do? How about Pumpkin Pie Spice? I had to guess on the amount, but they turned out pretty well.
Speaking of cooking...
Omelets in a bag.
(That's Miss B peeking over the counter back there.)
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
Monday, September 24, 2007
Now there is this.
(If I would have know before hand, I could have cropped the photo a little.)
I guess I am official a professional photographer!
I would like to thank my Mom and Dad for making me possible.
Friday, September 21, 2007
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
We got into town on Thursday, went to the 387th CRC's deactivation ceremony on Friday, and visited this little place on Saturday:
There was some squealing involved.
The Commander's birthday was on Sunday and on Monday, The Boy and I made our way back home.
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
Well, okay, maybe this one?
Okay, well, what about the individual photos?
What about these?
Too far away? Okay, I'll give you that. Let's go back to the group shot.
Photography is haaaarrrrrd. I mean, would it have killed those other pedestrians to stop with the walking already so I could get a photo with out all of the other activity going on behind them?! Sheesh.
Here are the rules. Write a post using each letter of your middle name describing something relevant to your life. Tag the same amount of people as you have letters in your name.
(I would like to start off by saying that Sherry isn't my real name. I have been called that from the time I was born, but it isn't the name on my birth certificate. So Sherry Shalene is not my name. I know. Crazy.)
S: Shalene. My middle name. The first movie my parents saw together was Cat Ballou. In the movie, Lee Marvin played a drunk cowboy by the name of Kid Shelleen (pronounced the same as my name). Some years later, my parents named me Shalene. They claim I wasn't named after the drunk cowboy, but I think I was.
H: Hairy. ‘Nuf said.
A: Ambidextrous. Well, I’m right handed and left eye dominant. Does that count? (You should see me fire a handgun. I have to get all wonky to line up my right hand and left eye. But I’m a pretty good shot, so don’t rile me.)
L: Longwinded. Sometimes I get going and I have to mentally tell myself to “Shut it!”
E: Eccentric. Other moms may bring juice pouches and Goldfish crackers to Cub Scout meetings for the snack. Me? Ice Cream Sandwiches baby.
N: Nearsighted. Badly. 20/800 vision without my glasses. And really, even if you could see it at 800 feet, there is no way in heck I could see it at 20 feet. 20 centimeters maybe.
E: Eater. I eat. And by the way. Why didn’t anyone tell me about the Fuji Apple Salad at Panera Bread? It was all I could do to keep from licking the plate last night. Seriously. That’s good stuff right there.
I tag Sleeping Mommy, Chicka Nuts, Cursing Mama, BGirl, Aunt Murry, Uncle Bubby, and Susan at Friday Playdate.
I won't be around for a while. I gots places to go and peoples to see and ceremonies to attend and flowers to receive (Although I wanted chocolate, but was told that wasn't a choice. Party Poopers.). And maybe, just maybe, go to an actual Oktoberfest put on by the German Air Force. (So ya know it has got to be good.)
Thursday, September 06, 2007
I had a blast at the Bachelorette party last Saturday. I got to meet up with some friends I haven't seen in a looooong time. I miss them.
The Boy is taking piano lessons and doing very well thankyouverymuch. I would like to just mention that he doesn't get it from me.
Guess who I met tonight? BGirl. I sat there for the longest time trying to think of how to go up to her and introduce myself. I shouldn't have worried because when I walked up to her she smiled the biggest smile and stuck out her hand. She said she figured it was me because she recognized The Boy.
Nice meeting you BGirl. There are a couple of things you should know: 1) Me and The Boy just had our hair "did" so I don't normally have that hair do. She does weird things with it. 2) I don't normally sound that way. I'm usually an octave higher. Blame the allergies.