Monday, September 15, 2008

Dr. Dreamy? Well, he did offer me morphine...

About 9:40 last night, I got a nasty pain going on down toward my lady parts. It got worse and worse and there was some wailing and moaning and tears and a hot pad and finally The Commander asked if I wanted to go to the hospital. Actually, I don't think he finished the question before I screeched YES!

During the 25 minute ride there ('cause we live in the middle of nowhere), the pain eased up, but I was still hurting pretty good.

Long story even longer, we made it there, I told the nurse I was hoping I just had a really bad UTI, I peed in a cup, my blood pressure was high, my abdominal sounds were hyperactive (I didn't mention the huge bowl of Jiffy Pop Kettle Corn I had eaten.), my blood pressure went even higher, I was offered Morphine (turned it down*) and finally diagnosed with a UTI. Or as the nurse put it, "You were right. And it's a bad one." Saw the doctor for less than a minute and left with antibiotics and Vicodin.

The pain, according to the doctor, was a bladder spasm. (Or as my friend, Vinny, put it, spontaneously fluctuating contractions of the piss bag.) I didn't even know a bladder could spasm. I can tell you this, I would prefer my piss bag to never, ever, ever spasm again. That was some crazy pain.

Anywho, so I'm better. Drinking water and cranberry juice.

*I did tell the nurse that if she would have asked if I had wanted the morphine about an hour earlier, I would have gladly taken it.


  1. Stacie Jo10:33 PM

    How is it your UTI story can beat anybody elses I've ever heard?! Most are pretty blah but yours...sorry but I did giggle.

  2. I have had bladder cramps before they hurt like a son of a bitch! I am so sorry you had to go through that but only you could make me spit popcorn on my lap top talking about a UTI