Three churches, right next door to each other, were having problems with squirrels.
The first church removed all of the food from the kitchen and the squirrels left. But they had to have food in the church for fellowship and such, so the food came back, and so did the squirrels.
The second church trapped all of the squirrels, painted their tails red, and took them far out into the country and dumped them. But the squirrels managed to find their way back.
The third church pretty solved the problem. They trapped all of the squirrels, baptised them and made them members of the church, and now they only show up at Christmas and Easter.
(or something to that effect. I'm a bad joke rememberer)