Commander should have read this before he left.

You Know You're from El Paso When...

You know that the only two seasons are summer and Christmas.

You know it's the first day of Spring because the wind gusts hit 50 mph.

You know that it only snows if it was at least 75 the day before.

You cringe whenever you see a CHIH MEX license plate.

You can get sunburned and wind burned in the same hour.

You can give a stranger exact directions to the Electric-Q disco in Juarez.

You don't go near the Rio Grande. Ever.

You think that anyone who lives on the West side drives a BMW and all the people on the East side are gangsters.

The only national monuments you have been to are White Sands and the Chamizal.

You have a least four T-shirts that have "In loving memory" on the back.

You know the difference between "ya'll" and "all ya'll".

You know where the "real" first Thanksgiving took place.

You thinkg Western Playland is the place to be in the summer.

You have tried to fry an egg on the sidewalk in July.

You invest a great deal of money in hair spray in the spring.

The only thing you stocked up on for Y2K were tortillas.

You know what all those letters on the mountain stand for.

You can see three different states and two countries from your backyard.

The first place you go when you come back in town is Chico's Tacos.

When you are lost in Juarez at night, you can always find your way back by looking for the star on the mountain.

Seeing the Asarco tower gives you that warm and fuzzy home feeling.

You have talked about leaving for about ten years, but you are still here.

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from El Paso.