I am...

I AM: Wondering if we could be on “Vacation Home Search” with a budget of only $50,000?

I SAID: I would call and pay for the first night cabin rental at Possum Kingdom Lake. I need to get on that, don't I?

I WANT: It to be six months from now so we would know where the Commander is gonna be.

I WISH: I had a nickel. I’d tell you what I’d do. I’d spend it all for candy and give the bag to you. ‘Cause that’s how much I love you, Baby. (My dad used to always sing this song.)

I HATE: That I sweat. Badly. And it takes for freakin’ ever to stop it once I start. Quite embarrassing. I also hate liars and pitch black.

I MISS: Frasier and Seinfeld and 3rd Rock.

I FEAR: That the Army is going to keep the Commander down there another year.

I HEAR: Actually all I hear is my computer humming and the woosh of the air coming out of the AC vent. Wait! My co-worker just cleared his throat.

I WONDER: If we would ever be able to afford a house on the water. The 8 bedrooms, 9 bathrooms, 2 kitchens, basketball court, gym, and 2 boat docks cabin is a little out of our price range.

I REGRET: Not playing with my boy as much as I should.

I AM NOT: Mowing the south part of our land. I’m only one person! I spread four buckets of wildflower seeds out there.

I DANCE: If I want to. We can leave your friends behind.
'Cause your friends don't dance and if they don't dance,
Well they're no friends of mine.
I say, we can go where we want to.
A place where they will never find.
And we can act like we come from out of this world;
Leave the real one far behind.
And we can dance

I SING: Horribly, but I still sing.

I AM NOT ALWAYS: Patient.

I MADE: Glass paperweights out of molten glass. I took some glass-blowing classes. I suck at blowing glass (I hurt my ear), but I can make the coolest paperweights.

I WRITE: About as well as I sing.

I CONFUSE: East and West. I have to think “Where is California?” and everything else is pretty much in relation to that answer. (California is in the West in case you were thinking “Where IS California?”)

I NEED: New jeans. My Nervous Wreck diet is making my jeans too big.

I SHOULD: But I won’t.

I START: Cleaning, but where do I put all the crap? Anyone want to help me have a garage sale?

I FINISH: In the top three. (Without trying.)

I BELIEVE: I will now drive the co-worker bonkers by playing the Safety Dance repeatedly. And at a high volume. Heheheheh.

I KNOW: I’m better than some most people. As a matter of fact, I’m pretty much perfect. You people need to step up to the plate.

I CAN: Cook. Make a noise like a dripping faucet with my mouth. Take be-you-te-ful photos. Ride a motorcycle. Sit on my ass. Read and write (v. important, that one). Annoy the hell out of you (v. good at that). Make a square paper balloon. Wrap gifts. Hit a softball. Make a snow angel. Cuss like a sailor. Float on my back in the water. Say words when I burp. Wiggle my nose.

I CAN’T: Play a musical instrument. I hate that.

I SEE: My socks. I take my shoes off at work quite often.

I BLOG: To entertain my friends and family. And to make new friends.

I READ: As much as possible! It’s my escape.

I AM AROUSED BY: The area on your neck where it starts curving down to your shoulder? Kiss that and I’m yours forever.

IT PISSES ME OFF: That people who are total shits get away with it and people like us (good to the bone) have to put up with them.

I FIND: That I can run into the store to buy dog food and underwear and end up buying dog food, two packs of underwear, three new sets of pajamas, a pair of capris, and six new tops.

I LIKE: Rain. The sound of car tires on a gravel. Arby’s. Bubble baths.

I LOVE: My goofy, but loveable family. Reading. Sleeping.