Soapbox time!

Hang on. Let me pull my soapbox up close to the microphone. There. Can you hear me okay? In the back? Can you hear me? Good. Let's get started.

Mom turns her back for "3 seconds" and her child crawls up into a Claw game in Minnesota.

Mom says - She wants the pizza place to child-proof the door of the Claw.

I say - Just keep an eye on your damn kid. I'm just guessing here, but wouldn't it take longer than "3 seconds" (her words) for a child to sqirm his way up there? Oh, and by the way, you and your child are banned from Godfather's Pizza. 4-ever. How's that for child-proofing?

Cat in Connecticut attacts people (on more than one occasion). Judge says to keep cat indoors.

Owner says - "I wish they would use a little common sense and basically just stay away from him."

I say - WTF?! Lady, are you on crack? You're lucky someone didn't use a little common sense and basically just shoot the thing in the head. A broken spirit is the least of its worries. IT ATTACKED A HUMAN BEING. Keep it in your house and shut up.

People! Stop blaming others for crap that goes on. Accept responsibility and go on with your life. Contrary to what you believe, the world doesn't revolve around you.

Okay. I'm done for now. Argh. I gotta stop reading CNN.com.