HA!

I like them both. What do you think?

Couch Slouch, that's me.

From Ben.

Here’s a list of televsion shows. Bold all the shows which you have seen at least 3 episodes.

24
7th Heaven
Adam-12
Alfred Hitchcock Presents
Alias
Angel
Arrested Development
Barney Miller
Battlestar Galactica
Baywatch
Beverly Hills 90210
Bonanza
Boy Meets World
Buffy the Vampire Slayer (No vampires. Ever.)
Bug Juice
Chappelle’s Show
Charlie’s Angels
Charmed
Cheers
CHIPS
Columbo
Commander in Chief
Coronation Street
Coupling
Cowboy Bebop
CSI: Miami
CSI: NY
Curb Your Enthusiasm
Danny Phantom
Dawson’s Creek
Dead Like Me
Deadwood
Degrassi: The Next Generation
Desperate Housewives
Doctor Who
Eastenders
Emergency!
Entourage
ER
Everwood
Extras
Family Guy
Farscape
Father Ted
Fawlty Towers
Felicity
Firefly
Frasier
Friends
Futurama
Get Smart
Gilligan’s Island
Gilmore Girls
Gomer Pyle, U.S.M.C.
Grey’s Anatomy
Gunsmoke
Hannah Montana
Happy Days
Hill Street Blues
Hogan’s Heroes
Home and Away
Home Improvement
Homicide: Life on the Street
House
I Dream of Jeannie
I Love Lucy
Inuyasha
Invader Zim
Invasion
JAG
Jackass
Joey
Little House on the Prairie
Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman
Lost
Lost in Space
Love, American Style
M*A*S*H
MacGyver
Malcolm in the Middle
Married… With Children
Medium
Melrose Place
Miami Vice
Mission: Impossible
Monk
My Three Sons
My Two Dads
NCIS
Neighbours
Night Court
Nip/Tuck
Numb3rs
NYPD Blue
Only Fools and Horses
Oz
Perry Mason
Pokemon
Power Rangers
Prison Break
Rescue Me
Roseanne
Roswell
Saved by the Bell
Scooby-Doo, Where Are You?
Scrubs
Seinfeld
Sex and the City
Six Feet Under
Smallville
So Weird
South Park
Spongebob Squarepants
Starsky and Hutch
Star Trek
Star Trek: The Next Generation
Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Star Trek: Voyager
Stargate Atlantis
Stargate SG-1
Superman
Supernatural
Surface
Taxi
Teen Titans
That 70’s Show
That’s So Raven
The 4400
The Addams Family
The Andy Griffith Show
The A-Team
The Avengers
The Beverly Hillbillies
The Brady Bunch
The Cosby Show
The Daily Show
The Dead Zone
The Flintstones
The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
The Good Life
The Honeymooners
The Jetsons
The Love Boat
The Munsters
The O.C.
The Office
The Shield
The Simpsons
The Six Million Dollar Man
The Sopranos
The Suite Life of Zack and Cody
The Twilight Zone
The Waltons
The West Wing
The Wonder Years
The X-Files
Third Watch
Three’s Company
Twin Peaks
Veronica Mars
Weeds
Whose Line is it Anyway?
Will and Grace
Wings

These boots are made for walkin' motorcycle ridin'

Guess what I bought? I'll give you a hint...



Woot! Stylin' Baby! I have been looking for a pair of buck suede boots to match my suede, fringe-y, embroidered, Harley-Davidson jacket. Now I got a pair!

Jealous?

Yeah, I didn't think so.

P.S. The orange is *way* more orange than it looks in the photo.

Who Cares? Post 'cause my shoulder hurts.

I recently was asked about my laundry habits. Mainly, do I sort by color or weight.

I go by color mostly. Followed by type.

Jeans (or any other denim)
Darks (non-jeans)
Lights
Whites (including white towels)
Colored towels
Sheets

What about your own bad self? Not that I really care, but just for the sake of conversation.

(How was that for the most rockingest post ever?)

So far, the day, she be full.

Get up very early (for no apparent reason) - check
Watch The Ringer - check
Eat a chocolate/caramel Pop Tart - check
Drink some white grape peach juice - check
Watch two episodes of Run's House (I heart him) - check
Feed the boy - check
Feed me - check
Help cousins load up boat to take to their house - check
Intervene on a Billygoat/English Bulldog death match (neither belonged to me) - check (it ended in a draw, but the boy got knocked off of his feet and into the side of one of the pontoons)
Shower boy - check
Shower me - check
Eat lunch - check
Drive like maniac to Tulsa - check
Arrive four minutes late for a wedding - check
Stuff face on horse-doovers - check
Stuff face on huge piece of cake - check
Watch (with WTF? expression) boy do the Cha Cha Slide on the dancefloor while people yelled "Sherry! Look at your boy! Where'd he learn that?" (dunno) - check
Hold six week old baby Noah - check
Give Mom and Dad their card and gift for 40th (!!!) Anniversary - check
Stop at Weber's for a root beer freeze (blended float) - check
Drink freeze while going "mmmmmmmm" - check
Drive not as fast back to Stillwater - check
Jam to Ska band Suburban Legends - check
Update blog - check
Go to store for milk and other essentials and then head back home to work on who knows what - on my way!

Jim. You know. What's his name? That guy. With the Hot Pockets...

What is making it so I can not remember Jim's last name?

There ya go.

"Well ya see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members.

In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine."

Amen Brother.

So, did you watch? Please tell me you did. PeeWee's Playhouse reruns started last Monday! Woot. I recorded it and made the boy watch it with me. He had pretty much the same look on his face then as he did when he watched The Who's "Tommy".

It was just as funny as I remembered.

Me - See the chair he is sitting on?
Boy - Yeah.
Me - Do you know what its name is?
Boy - No.
Me - Chairy! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Boy - ????

The word of the day was "Help".

PW - Help!
Me - AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
PW - Help!
Me - AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
Boy - ?????

Jambi - Mekalekahi Mekaheinieho.
Me - Mekalekahi Mekaheinieho.
Jambi - Mekalekahi Mekajonnyho.
Me - Mekalekahi Mekajonnyho.
Jambi - Mekalekajibberishblahblah.
Me - Mekalekablahblahyaya.
Boy - ??????

I plan on recording every stinking episode I can.

Anything can happen. At PeeWee's Playhouse.

Pee Wee's Playhouse Intro (High Quality)

Back the truck up - updated

See this?





Notice that it no longer says "Three months and one week". That's right. They're keeping him another year.

Me and the boy were going to move down there, but things are so up in the air, we don't know now.
- Can I get a leave of absence from work? Nope.
- We can't get housing until he gets written orders.
- School starts in five weeks.
- Can we get written orders and housing before school starts?
- How long 'til I snap?

Waaaaaaah.

Waaaaaaiiiitttttt!

I was sitting in Minnesota, in the family room, using my laptop to make a photo DVD for the in-laws when the kids came running in from the backyard yelling, "ICE CREAM! ICE CREAM!"

Me - Wha?
BB - ICE CREAM!
Me - Where?
BB - OUTSIDE!
BS - COMING DOWN THE STREET!
Me - YOU MEAN THE PINKY-DINKY MAN?!
Them - YES!

I throw down gently place the laptop on the floor and make a mad dash for the front door. (And if you know me, you know that I rarely mad dash anywhere.)

YES! It was the Pinky-Dinky man! The boys ran down the sidewalk trying to get his attention while I ran (right) quickly strolled behind them yelling, "DON'T GET IN THE STREET!". ('Cause the Pinky-Dinky man makes you lose all sense of responsibility when you are younger than 18.) The truck backed up and we stared glassy-eyed at the goodness that is the Pinky-Dinky man. Should I get a snowcone? A fudge bomb? Eskimo pie? Decisions, decisions.

BS got a watermelon pop, BB got a ice cream sandwich, and I got a fudge pop, no, wait, a watermelon pop, no...okay, I'll go with the watermelon.

Best of all? BS paid for it!

Score!



(What do you call the ice cream man? I've always called him the Pinky-Dinky man. I don't know why.)

BTW - The truck was playing Beethoven's Fur Elise. Gotta give 'em a little culture with their ice cream.

Ya, you betcha.

Hey ho! We're in Minne-snow-ta visiting the Commander's family.

Here is the youngest, McTavish.



We got an early start to the 4th festivities.



Slackers Vacationers.



The Commander and I are headed down to his hometown in Iowa tomorrow to look at some vacation home prospects. Is this Heaven? No, it's Iowa.

We really don't know right now what is going on with his job yet. He still hasn't heard if his deployment is being extended for another year or not. Hurry up and wait. I would say the not knowing is driving me crazy, but it is a short walk.

It's that time of the year again.

Summer can only mean one thing. Peaches! Fresh from the tree. A few friends and some family went out this morning and picked (and ate) peaches. Yummers.

Below is a slide show of our goings-on. Bright Boy took a bunch of the photos. Enjoy.

There's no sound so hum to yourself.

sweet CORRECTION! Correction!

Nope, a whole stick is what you need. And this time I used an 11oz pack of chocolate and peanut butter chips. (Not the swirls.) Mmmmmmm dee-lish.

(I just made a test batch and realized I needed 1/2 stick butter not a whole one! A whole one will work, but the base layer isn't as sticky-togethery as it should be. I'll make another batch tomorrow with 1/2 stick and let you know. I also used a whole 10oz. bag of chocolate/peanut butter swirl chips and it was just right. So far, the family (*cough* Bonus Son *cough*) has eaten a butt load of them. Now I must go have another. Peace out.)

I'm making these for our par-tay at work Thursday. My Papa used to have me make them for him everytime we got together so I'm naming them for him.

Papa Byrd's Peanut Butter Cup Cookies

1/3 box cinnamon graham crackers, crushed
1 cup peanut butter
1 stick butter, melted
2 cups powdered sugar

Mix well and press into a 9 X 13 inch pan.

Melt 1 package of chocolate chips (I use milk chocolate. You use whatever you want.) and spread on top. Chill in fridge until the chocolate is firm enough to cut into bars. Return to fridge to harden chocolate and then enjoy. Keep the leftovers (if there are any) in the fridge.

Very rich, but Oh. So. Good.

Let me know if you make them and what you think.

Who are you people and what have you done with my family?

The Commander came home last night for a couple weeks vacay.

This morning he and BB brought me breakfast in bed.

I had mixed emotions about it.
1 - WooHoo! Breakfast in bed!
2 - Ack. I'm sleeping here. Come back later.

(I went with #1 so no feelings were hurt.)

Question.

If, instead of talking to your plants, you yelled at them, would they still grow, only to be troubled and insecure?

We're waaalking. We're waaalking.

While my computer is processing some horrible, vile, putrid, gastro-intestinal projectile hurling, cattle video, I thought I would catch you up on what's been happening around here.

Not much.

So, thanks for playing and come back soon!

As you know, I went to a real, theater-sittin' movie last Friday (BTW - Pay no attention to the "professional reviewers". They have all slammed the movie.). Saturday we did as little as possible and Sunday we went over and saw my mom and dad. (Note to self: Don't go to Bass Pro Shop on Father's Day.) Monday was liquor store and league bowling night. Last night I cooked (!) meatloaf, garlic mashed potatoes, and green beans and then we hopped in the pool for a while. (I know! How more thrilling can my life be?)

But this morning? Excitement! I woke up before the alarm went off (I know!) and in my sleepy, 20/800 eyesight impaired, haze, I saw a big blob of something on the wall. Wazzat? I sat up and squinted to about 20/600 and thought, "That's not on the wall, that's HANGING DOWN FROM THE CEILING!" OMG! The hugest spider ever was hanging down from my ceiling about four feet away from me! Aaaackkkkk! I grabbed my glasses off the nightstand, slapped them on my face and WOOHOO! not a spider, but a badly placed peacock feather winking at me.

Nice way to wake up, wouldn't you say?

(A friend of mine recently went to Quebec City for a conference and brought me back a couple of pieces of candy he picked up at the registration desk. The are little, maple-leaf shaped candies and are yum-to-the-me. Sadly, not readily available in Oklahoma. Any peeps up toward the north that can lay your hands on some of these tasty treats or know where to get some?)

Wanna come to my room and have some toast?

Last night, another mom picked the kids up to take them to VBS. I took mondo advantage of this and partied like it was my birthday. Okay. Not really. But I did go out.

One of my best buds and I had Español night.
First - Taco Bell. (We consider that "our" place and sit in the same booth everytime. We're dorks like that.)
Second - Nacho Libre!

I had been watching Jack Black's podcasts so I knew the movie would be funny, but I didn't realize just how funny it would be. I laughed so hard I had tears running down my face. I had to take my glasses off repeatedly to wipe the tears off. Plus, I found that as I get older, I tend to snort more when I laugh. My friend says he has noticed he does that as well, so I was in good company. Luckily everyone was laughing so loud, I don't think our snorts were noticed much. There was a slight problem with the alignment of the film and the top of the frame was cut off for 10 minutes or so and when we left, the manager was standing there apologizing for the technical difficulties. He handed us little coupons and said the next movie is on them. Bonus!

I give Nacho Libre! two snaps up and will definately be purchasing the DVD.

Why can't we have VBS every Friday?

Oooops! heheheheheh

So I pick up BB and his friend Red from Snob Hill Day School* and take them to eat before dropping them off at VBS. I called Red's mom and was talking to her while the kiddies were eating.

RM - Let me know when you need your lawn mowed and I'll come over and do it for you.
Me - Okay. I'll bring the liquor.
RM - Ha ha ha!
Me - I'm down to one Hard Cider. Maybe I'll drop the kids off at church and head to the liquor store.
Us - Ha ha ha!

Later that same day...

I get the kids to church and am standing in the fellowship hall with some other folks waiting for the kids to finish their cokes so they can go into the Sanctuary.

BB - Mom? Are you going back to your office?
Red - No. She's going to the liquor store! Aren't you going to the liquor store?
Me - Ack. Errrr. Ehem. Uh. No. Heheheh. I was just teasing your mom. Heh.

Geez.

*Not its real name, but it might as well be. (I got into a "discussion" with the wife of one of the University's football coaches on why she couldn't park where she parked because it BLOCKED THE DRIVEWAY FOR THOSE OF US WHO PARK IN THE PARKING LOT WHERE WE ARE SUPPOSED TO AND NOT IN THE STINKING DRIVEWAY BECAUSE WE DON'T FEEL THAT WE ARE JUST A SKEENCH BETTER THAN EVERYBODY ELSE! And by discussion I mean as much of an argument I felt I could get into while I escorting three small kids to my car. She was the one yelling at me that she could park anywhere she wanted. Oddly enough, she never got out of her Stupid User Vehicle the whole time she's yelling this at me. PLUS, I'm standing a good 10 feet from her vehicle and she tells me, "And don't you come up on me like that!" I guess she has a little larger personal space than most people. So I tell the kids, "Come on, kids. Let's go back in." and we turn around to go back into the building to tell the director about this crazed woman in the parking lot when said crazed woman pulls out of the drive, turns back into the parking lot, drives all the way through the parking lot and parks down along the edge of the building. Now she is not blocking the drive, but she is having to walk waaay farther than she would have if she would have just parked in a stinking parking space! Hey, whatever floats your boat, lady.) I'm surprised those "B" word women don't just park under the portico and toot their horn and have someone walk their kid out to the car.

The Teeth! They're Dropping Like Flies!

Yesterday, I answer my phone at work.

Bright Boy - Mom! Guess what? My other tooth fell out!
Me - How did it fall out?
BB - Pretty much the same way the other one did.
Me - Wrestling?
BB - Yeah. Can you call Dad?

My heart melted a gajillion times after I got home yesterday. I love him.



He is *so* cute with his teeth out. And his temporary speech impediment is cracking me up. I had him say, "Sister Susie sitting on a thistle." He did pretty good until the thistle part.



Hahahahahah. Quick! Where's the dog. We need to get some more of those goofy photos of him. Cooper! Coo...uh, never mind...

Stuff and such

1. What childhood vacation do you remember the most fondly?
Wow. There are a few that stand out. We used to cram everything in our Chevy Nova and off we would go. But the standy-outy-est is probably the time we stayed in Denver for a month or so while my Dad was going to a school for his company. There were two other families who were there for the same reason and they both had kids around my age. We lived at the pool. One night, this guy we had met while we were there offered to take all of the kids (six of us) across the street to a restaurant for a coke. The parents said okay and off we went. But we decided to go down the road a bit to the arcade. Not a good idea. The moms came looking for us and when they didn’t find us, they started to freak. No one in the restaurant had seen a guy come in with six kids. There was a cop in the parking lot and they told him what was going on and he called in a “possible kidnapping”. Zoinks. Not a good thing to say in front of three already freaking out moms. (Why would someone kidnap six kids anyway?) The moms put their heads together and finally thought of the arcade place. Sure enough, there we were. My mom was livid with the guy. (Looking back, I don’t blame her.) To make up for his error, he took the moms to the bar in the hotel and they stayed out most of the night. Krazee. Also in Denver, I heard the song “Funkytown” for the first time and watched “Grease” on HBO 13 times. Of course I held up my cassette recorder to the speaker of the TV to record the songs. After Dad finished that school, he was sent to one in Columbus, Ohio. He drove there by himself while my mom and I flew out to California to visit her family. Then we flew out to Ohio and met up with Dad. I had my first Shirley Temple drink in Ohio. After that school, we loaded up and drove to Pittsburgh, PA to visit one of the families we hung out with in Denver. He is Polish and she is Italian. Small town me was not very impressed with big town Pittsburgh. 22 houses on one block and you could barely walk between them. How is that fun? But the Polish/Italian food rocked! Piled back in the car and drove down to Tennessee to visit my Dad’s family then back home. Good times.

2. How many colors has your hair been?
Naturally brown. Brown with a blonde streak down he middle. Black. Chocolate Peanut Butter (Garnier Nutrisse). Currently brown. For some reason, my hair turned from its natural brown to a wonky ash black color. ????? So I color it back to brown.

3. Would you rather be placed in a tub filled with water snakes or covered with ants?
Snakes. I actually had an ant bite me last night and it hurt. I can deal with snakes. Small critters, not so much.

4. Are you camp Jessica or camp Nick?
Nick. He’s hot.

5. Do you have a swimming pool? Can we come over?
Yes and yes. Bring snacks. And pick up some hard cider on your way.

6. Salty or sweet?
Mmmmmmm. Both.

7. When did you last get a kiss?
Yesterday from the boy. More than a month from a grown-up human man person.

8. Do you play a musical instrument?
Nope. Wish I could.

9. What's your favorite kind of weather?
Fall. Cool. Rainy/cloudy. Good sitting on the porch swing with some French Vanilla Cappuccino, a good book, and a kitty cat in your lap weather.

10. What are you wearing right now?
A black ribbed tank top with a black, tan, and maroon whispy blouse type thingie over it, black jeans, a pair of the Commander’s black Nike socks, and what I refer to as my nurses’ shoes (black, clunky-heeled mules). This is what I call my “fancy clothes”. I’m usually in blue jeans and a casual top with tennis shoes, but we have someone coming in to assess our unit at work today.

Can I call Dad?

Sniff. And my two front teeth were really loose, but I was gonna be patient and let them just come out like I did the others, but me and Brother were wrestling and he hit me and my tooth came out and I started crying and went running to Mom and told her what happened and asked if it would ever quit bleeding and she said yes, but it hurts. Sniff.
(If you click to bigify, you can even see the tear in his right eye.)


Fun with Cooper to ease the pain.

Rabbit ears!


Wha?


Listen, Lady. I don't care if they boy gets ALL of his teeth knocked out next time, those poses are humiliating. And don't you even think about blogging them, you hear me? I mean it. Don't you dare.

Tru Dat

Your movie mom match is My Big Fat Greek Wedding's Maria Portokalos


Maria Portokalos may not have been the focus of the movie, but that's the only way she would have had it. You, like Maria, are the backbone of your family, but you do it without ever wanting to be the center of attention. You know what we're talking about — your kids always seek out your well-thought-out and sincere advice, and your husband knows who really wears the pants in your house.

You consider motherhood a delicate balancing act — you're strong and tough when necessary, but it's tempered with love and respect. Fiercely loyal, you always act with your family's best interest at heart. And that's just the way you want it.

Which Movie Mom Are You?

Brought to you by Tickle

Bless you, child. Here's $100.

Little did I know when we moved into our house seven years ago? A former Mrs. Stillwater title holder lived right next door. Luckily, she's not like most slender, blonde-haired, ample-bosomed females I have encountered. No smugness what-so-ever. (It is real funny to watch The Commander suck in his gut whenever he sees her outside. Hi Commander!!) Her and her husband have two kids, a 8-yo boy (Polite Pete) and a 6-yo girl (Chatty Kathy). (Names changed to protect the innocent.)

Tonight I was out front catching fireflies with Bright Boy when the kiddos came over and started playing with us. BB ran over to the hammock and yelled, "MAKE ROOM FOR MY BIG, FAT MOM!" CK proceeded to set him straight (bless her ever-lovin' heart), "She's not fat. MY mom's fat."

It brought a tear to my eye.

Now all three are snuggled down in the front room watching a movie and drifting off into peaceful, firefly-filled sleep.

I think I'm going to go have some ice cream.

Yeah, I know.

I know. I know. I missed doing the Thursday Thirteen. I thought about it, but I just couldn't think of 13 interesting things to post. I had to drive a co-worker to the Tulsa Airport in the torrential downpour yesterday morning and it pretty much threw my whole day off. I had stayed at work until after 10pm the night before helping him with his presentation materials for the conference he was going to and then I had to get up early to go pick him up and drive him to the airport so my brain wasn't cooking on all four burners.

Sue me.

Anywho...here are 13 random photos to make up for it. Enjoy.

The Commander and his Command Sergeant Major watching the Dwight D. Eisenhower pass by at Ft. Monroe.


Statue of the Spirit Rider at Oklahoma State University






Rainy Day


Love them some puddles.


Birthday Weekend
The Commander ponders sound and frequency.


Bonus Son on a bed of nails. (I tried it. It was cool.)


He wasn't drinking. I promise.


First train ride.


Headed home.


And a bonus artsy-fartsy one...

Clematis and the tree.

Ask Miss Adventure

Dear Miss Adventure,
If you put a can of Mug Root Beer in your freezer to chill it for use later in a blended root beer float and then decide not to have said float and forget to remove the can from the freezer, is there a good chance the can will get a little hole in it during the night and spin around inside the freezer spraying root beer in every direction so that when you come downstairs in the morning you notice some brown goo has leaked down out of the ice dispenser and onto the front of your fridge?
FloatLvr

Dear FloatLvr,
Yes.
Miss Adventure

Dear Miss Adventure,
If you turn on the outside faucet to start putting water into your new pool and about an hour later when your son goes out to check on it and yells in the back door, "Mom! The hose isn't in the pool!", how much water do you think you have wasted?
PoolGal

Dear PoolGal,
A lot.
Miss Adventure

Do you have a question for Miss Adventure?

If it's Thursday, it must be 13.

Thirteen (of the many) Photos of Sherrypg's Bright Boy . Today is Bright Boy's last day of Kindergarten. Here are a few of my favorite photos of the little guy. 1. Welcome to the world Little (?) Man! All 9 lbs., 11 oz., 23 in. of you! 2. It's hot you see... 3. Stylin with the bunny. 4. The Fall Guy. 5. You may address him as "Chef". 6. Aaargh. 7. Walking the Mighty Mississip. 8. Jack makes me invincible. 9. Ohhhh...too much jack.... 10. Remind me again how holding a pointy stick that is on fire is fun? 11. He loves tubing. 12. First day of Pre-K 13. First day of Kindergarten

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!

I gotta be me.

ACCENT: Southernish
BIBLE BOOK I LIKE: Leviticus
CHORE I DON'T CARE FOR: Dishes.
DOG OR CAT: Cat
ESSENTIAL ELECTRONICS: Work – Computer, Home – Radio/CD player
FAVORITE COLOGNE: Emeraude (It never lets me forget I’m a woman.)
GOLD OR SILVER: Silver
HANDBAG I CARRY MOST OFTEN: Don’t carry one. Unless I’m getting’ on my fancy britches what don’t got pockets.
INSOMNIA: Sometimes. I went a spell where I was getting about three hours of sleep a night. I don’t recommend it.
JOB TITLE: Television Producer/Director
KIDS: Yes.
LIVING ARRANGEMENTS: 2 story, 4 bed, 2.5 bath, living room, family room, formal dining room, breakfast nook, 2 car garage on 6 acres. Wanna buy it?
MOST ADMIRABLE TRAIT: I’m a giver.
NAUGHTIEST CHILDHOOD BEHAVIOR: Need some help here relatives. What did I do?
OVERNIGHT HOSPITAL STAYS: Appendix, Brain scans, Childbirth
PHOBIAS: Pitch black
QUOTE: If you don’t get anything else out of this internship – Apple S!
RELIGION: Presbyterian
SIBLINGS: Nope
TIME I WAKE UP: Wake up – 6:12am Get up – 6:30am (See? Two 9 minute snoozes.)
UNUSUAL TALENT OR SKILL: I can say words when I belch.
LOVE: Yes
VEGETABLE I REFUSE TO EAT: Cauliflower
WORST HABIT: I’m bossy. I’m working on it though!
XRAYS: Left knee, left ankle, left wrist, head, teeth,
YUMMY STUFF I COOK: Meatloaf, Mashed Potatoes, Chicken Pot Pie, Scotcharoos
ZOO ANIMAL I LIKE MOST: Tigers

I'm not camera shy.

See what a goof I am at work? You can't see the whole thing, but trust me, I'm goofy.

I am...

I AM: Wondering if we could be on “Vacation Home Search” with a budget of only $50,000?

I SAID: I would call and pay for the first night cabin rental at Possum Kingdom Lake. I need to get on that, don't I?

I WANT: It to be six months from now so we would know where the Commander is gonna be.

I WISH: I had a nickel. I’d tell you what I’d do. I’d spend it all for candy and give the bag to you. ‘Cause that’s how much I love you, Baby. (My dad used to always sing this song.)

I HATE: That I sweat. Badly. And it takes for freakin’ ever to stop it once I start. Quite embarrassing. I also hate liars and pitch black.

I MISS: Frasier and Seinfeld and 3rd Rock.

I FEAR: That the Army is going to keep the Commander down there another year.

I HEAR: Actually all I hear is my computer humming and the woosh of the air coming out of the AC vent. Wait! My co-worker just cleared his throat.

I WONDER: If we would ever be able to afford a house on the water. The 8 bedrooms, 9 bathrooms, 2 kitchens, basketball court, gym, and 2 boat docks cabin is a little out of our price range.

I REGRET: Not playing with my boy as much as I should.

I AM NOT: Mowing the south part of our land. I’m only one person! I spread four buckets of wildflower seeds out there.

I DANCE: If I want to. We can leave your friends behind.
'Cause your friends don't dance and if they don't dance,
Well they're no friends of mine.
I say, we can go where we want to.
A place where they will never find.
And we can act like we come from out of this world;
Leave the real one far behind.
And we can dance

I SING: Horribly, but I still sing.

I AM NOT ALWAYS: Patient.

I MADE: Glass paperweights out of molten glass. I took some glass-blowing classes. I suck at blowing glass (I hurt my ear), but I can make the coolest paperweights.

I WRITE: About as well as I sing.

I CONFUSE: East and West. I have to think “Where is California?” and everything else is pretty much in relation to that answer. (California is in the West in case you were thinking “Where IS California?”)

I NEED: New jeans. My Nervous Wreck diet is making my jeans too big.

I SHOULD: But I won’t.

I START: Cleaning, but where do I put all the crap? Anyone want to help me have a garage sale?

I FINISH: In the top three. (Without trying.)

I BELIEVE: I will now drive the co-worker bonkers by playing the Safety Dance repeatedly. And at a high volume. Heheheheh.

I KNOW: I’m better than some most people. As a matter of fact, I’m pretty much perfect. You people need to step up to the plate.

I CAN: Cook. Make a noise like a dripping faucet with my mouth. Take be-you-te-ful photos. Ride a motorcycle. Sit on my ass. Read and write (v. important, that one). Annoy the hell out of you (v. good at that). Make a square paper balloon. Wrap gifts. Hit a softball. Make a snow angel. Cuss like a sailor. Float on my back in the water. Say words when I burp. Wiggle my nose.

I CAN’T: Play a musical instrument. I hate that.

I SEE: My socks. I take my shoes off at work quite often.

I BLOG: To entertain my friends and family. And to make new friends.

I READ: As much as possible! It’s my escape.

I AM AROUSED BY: The area on your neck where it starts curving down to your shoulder? Kiss that and I’m yours forever.

IT PISSES ME OFF: That people who are total shits get away with it and people like us (good to the bone) have to put up with them.

I FIND: That I can run into the store to buy dog food and underwear and end up buying dog food, two packs of underwear, three new sets of pajamas, a pair of capris, and six new tops.

I LIKE: Rain. The sound of car tires on a gravel. Arby’s. Bubble baths.

I LOVE: My goofy, but loveable family. Reading. Sleeping.

Thursday 13

Thirteen (of the many) Mad Skilz Sherrypg has. 1. Throw a spiral pass. 2. Identify a poisonous snake. 3. Crack an egg with one hand. 4. Blow soap bubbles with my thumb and finger. 5. Multiply by nine on my fingers. 6. Count to 31 on one hand. 7. Write backward. 8. Treat a bee sting. 9. Roller skate. 10. Eat spaghetti like an Italian. (Vinny taught me. He also taught me to make edible gravy (instead of the wallpaper paste I tend to make) and how to keep my hair from flying all over when I have my car window down.) 11. Catch a penny off of my elbow. 12. Lose like a winner. 13. Cut a hole in an 8.5” X 11” piece of paper big enough to step through. Strewth. Do YOU have mad skilz?

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Slackers!

When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were when they were growing up; what with walking ten miles to school every morning . . . uphill BOTH ways . . through year 'round blizzards. . . barefoot. . . Carrying their younger siblings on their backs . . . to their one-room schoolhouse, where they maintained a Straight-A average, despite their full- time, after-school job at the local textile mill . . . where they worked for 35 cents an hour just to help keep their family from starving to death!

And I remember promising myself that when I grew up, there was no way I was going to tell my kids about how hard I had it and how easy they've got it!

But now that I'm over the ripe old age of thirty, I can't help but look around and notice the youth of today. You've got it so easy! ! I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in a Utopia! And I hate to say it but you kids today you don't know how good you've got it! I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have The Internet. If we wanted to know something, we had to go to the library and look it up ourselves, in the card catalog!!

There was no email! We had to actually write somebody a letter . . . with a pen! Then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the mailbox and it would take like a week to get there!

There were no MP3's or Napsters! You wanted to steal music, you had to hitchhike to the record store and shoplift it yourself! Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio and the DJ'd usually talk over the beginning and mess it all up!

We didn't have fancy stuff like Call Waiting! If you were on the phone and somebody else called they got a busy signal, that's it! And we didn't have fancy Caller ID Boxes either! When the phone rang, you had no idea ! who it was! It could be your school, your mom, your boss, your bookie, a collections agent - you just didn't know!!! You had to pick it up and take your chances, mister!

We didn't have any fancy Sony Playstation video games with high-resolution 3-D graphics! We had the Atari 2600! With games like "Space Invaders" and "Asteroids" and the graphics sucked! Your guy was a little square! You actually had to use your imagination! And there were no multiple levels or screens, it was just one screen forever! And you could never win. The game just kept getting harder and harder and faster and faster until you died!! Just like LIFE!

When you went to the movie theater there no such thing as stadium seating! All the seats were the same height! If a tall guy or some old broad with a hat sat in front of you and you couldn't see, you were just screwed!

Sure, we had cable television, but back then that was only like 15 channels and there was no onscreen menu and no remote control! You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on! There was no channel surfing! You had to get off the couch and walk over to the TV to change the channel and there was no Cartoon Network either! You could only get cartoons on Saturday Morning. Do you hear what I'm saying!?! We had to wait ALL WEEK for cartoons, you spoiled little brats!

And we didn't have microwaves, if we wanted to heat something up, we had to use the stove or go build a fire. Imagine that! If we wanted popcorn, we had to use that stupid Jiffy Pop thing and shake it over the stove forever like an idiot. That's exactly what I'm talking about!

You kids today have got it too easy. You're spoiled.

You guys wouldn't have lasted five minutes back in 1980!!!!!

Look all around, there's nothing but blue skies

Why is this song is stuck in my head? Is it a premonition that things are gonna get better? 'Cause seriously? If things get worse, I may have to pull a Bree and check myself in. (And if you don't get that reference, you are missing out.)

Dear Commander,
For future reference, on your wife's birthday when she asks, "Where's my presents?", it's best to not get a deer in the headlights look on your face and start stammering. I'm just saying.
Me

Dear Bonus Son,
For future reference, refer to the Commander's note above AND when left home alone to receive a delivery from the Commander to his wife the Friday before Mother's Day and the phone rings? ANSWER IT! Because if they can't find your road, they can't deliver the goods. I'm just saying.
Me

It's gonna be a bright, bright sun-shiny day.

Seriously?

Hey, Honey? Suck on a mint and blow into this for me, will ya?

Thursday Thirteen and Visual Perception Challenge

Thirteen of Sherrypg's birthday buddies. 1. 1961 - George Clooney, Lexington, Kentucky, actor, Dr. Douglas Ross-ER, Batman 2. 1961 - Roma Downey, Derry Ire, actress, 1 Life to Live, Touched by an Angel 3. 1959 - Aidan Quinn, actor, Avalon, Crusoe, Desperately Seeking Susan 4. 1953 - Tony Blair, British Prime Minister, Labour 5. 1947 - Richard "Dick" Fosbury, Portland, Oregon, high jumper, Oly-gold-68 6. 1945 - Bob Seger, Dearborn, Michigan, folk singer, Silver Bullet Band 7. 1931 - Willie Mays, baseball centerfielder, "Say Hey Kid", 660 HRs, MVP 1954 8. 1915 - Orson Welles, Kenosha, Wisconsin, actor, Citizen Kane, War of the Worlds 9. 1913 - Stewart Granger, London, actor, Prisoner of Zenda 10. 1898 - Daniel Gerber, Freemont, Michigan, beloved by babies at mealtime 11. 1895 - Rudolph Valentino, Castellaneta, Italy, sheik/actor, Eagle 12. 1856 - Robert Edwin Peary, U.S., arctic explorer, North Pole-Apr 6 1909 13. 1856 - Sigmund Freud, Austria, cigar smoker, father of psychology Who are your birthday buddies?

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Here is a visual perception challenge for you.
See how quickly you can find the dogs in the picture in the attached JPG file.
Read the text below before looking at the picture.
Typical comments by people taking the test:

1. "I couldn't see any dogs and I stared at the picture for a good 10 minutes.
2. "I think it is one of those pictures where you have to stare at a certain spot and then everything comes into focus, but it never happened to me. I'll give another try later."
3. "I almost didn't find the dogs at all!"
4. "There is a dog in this picture? Where?"
5. "This must be a joke; there are no dogs in this picture."

Men seem to do better at this than women, for some reason.
The following are average times for men and women:

> Women - 12.46 minutes
> Men - 1.23 seconds

Hint: The dogs appear to be white with black spots.
Good luck and happy hunting.

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.

Every month, hundred of troops and civilians load up on planes for *very* long plane rides across the ocean. Before they load up, they are given the opportunity to browse a couple of book cases in the Commander's office and to choose a book to take with them.

The pickings are getting slim.

I cleaned out my book cases at home and sent a bunch to help stock the shelves. (Oddly enough, chick lit wasn't a huge hit with the world travelers.)

So here's my pitch...Read any good books lately? Wanna donate some to the cause? Leave a comment or e-mail me and I can let you know more.

Spread the word.

(Bonus son is planning on doing a book drive for his Eagle Project later in the year, but they need some now.)

You must give some time to your fellow men. Even if it's a little thing, do something for others - something for which you get no pay but the privilege of doing it. - Albert Schweitzer

The Commander sent this to me.

If you give Mom a muffin,
She'll want a cup of coffee to go with it,
She'll pour herself some.
Her three year old will spill the coffee.
She'll wipe it up.
Wiping the floor, she'll find dirty socks.
She'll remember she has to do laundry.
When she puts the laundry in the washer,
she'll trip over boots and bump into the freezer.
Bumping into the freezer will remind her she has to plan for supper.
She'll get out a pound of hamburger.
She'll look for her cookbook, ("101 Things to do With a Pound of Hamburger").
The cookbook is sitting under a pile of mail.
She will see the phone bill, which is due tomorrow.
She will look for her checkbook.
The checkbook is in her purse that is being dumped out by her two year old.
She'll smell something funny.
She'll change the two year old's diaper.
While she is changing the diaper, the phone will ring.
Her five year old will answer and hang up.
She'll remember she wants to phone a friend for coffee.
Thinking of coffee will remind her that she was going to have a cup.
And chances are... If she has a cup of coffee,
Her kids will have eaten the muffin that went with it

Author unknown.

How to ruin your child's day in three easy words...

The Three Tenors

Our library has some bookshelves in the lobby where they put stuff they have for sale. It used to be just books and magazines, but now they have added video tapes and CDs. I bought (brand new!) The Three Tenors CD "The Three Tenors in Concert" and The Monks of Silos "The Mystery of Santo Domingo de Silos". I popped the Tenors into the CD player in the car and off we went.

(Evidently these CDs cause excruciating pain and possible bleeding from the ears of young, male children.)

Bright Boy - Are you going to listen to *all* of the songs?
Me - Yes.
BB - (Huge Sigh)
Me - I'll probably end up taking it up to work and leaving it up there.
BB - GOOD!